An Amazing Weekend

We just got back from our amazing weekend. The color up in traverse city and then down the west side was absolutely stunning. We left on Friday at about 4:30. We made a surprise stop at little river casino to surpirse my dad as he worked a blackjack table. His table, like many, was empty, so we were able to stay and chat for awhile. . . no hugging, of course, because his hands have to stay in plain sight and can't touch other people (not even a shaking of hands is allowed). I walked into the casino with a dollar in my pocket and left with the same dollar. Pretty impressive! While we were walking around, waiting for dad to get off of his break, we ran into John and Sherry DeBoer. They live in Muskegon and we never run into them here, yet we visit Manistee and there they are! John married us six years ago. He is one of the greatest guys we know.
We then left dad to his bordem and made our way to The Cherry Inn Hotel. It was really windy and as we got close to the hotel we ran a traffic light becasue it was out. We noticed that it was very dark on the bay side of the road. We went to the outskirts of Acme and didn't see our hotle, so we turned around and figured it must have been out of power. In the dark, i was able to make out the sign for the hotle, and we pulled into the dark parking lot. We checked in by flashlight. Apparently the power had gone out 40 minutes ago. The elevators were down so we climbed up the steps to the top story of the hotel, opened our room and it was pitch black. TJ grabbed a flashlight from the stairwell, so i could pee on our toilet. I have never been in such a dark and unfamiliar place. We lit the gas fireplace and opened up our balcony window and listened to the waves. TJ went back downstairs and carried all of our luggage up the stairs. The power came on while he was walking up the stairs, but he didn't want to get stuck in the elevator, so he kept walking. What i loved about it, was our attitudes and the attitudes of the workers. TJ and i didn't let it get us in a bad mood. . . we made jokes and did our best with what we had. It is very typical that something like that would happen to us. When the power came on, it revealed a wonderful room. . . we had a giant soaker/jet tub for at least two people, a fireplace, a sitting area with a view of the bay and a balcony. We even had three tv's. . . one in the bathroom! The relaxing bath was one of my favorite parts. TJ bought sleepy dream bubble bath from bath and body works. That stuff was awesome.
On Saturday, we had a delicious breakfast, shopped on Front Street, and drove around to look at color. We also checked out a new coffee shop and other shops that they are putting in a renovated giant former mental hospital. We ate at the blue tractor. Because my bed time is so early, we headed back home around 6, took a relaxing bath (without the tubside alcohol of course), and then watched Knocked Up.
Today we drove around to North point, then down to Empire and Beulah. That drive was the best drive we have ever been on. The sun was shining, the trees were on fire. The road curved and wound through hills and lakes. We stopped and ate at the Cherry Hut on their last day of being open. We both had a hot turkey sandwich with potatoes and gravy. Then we went between Platte lake and Crystal lake. I asked TJ to turn on Platte drive because it sounded familiar. Then i had him turn on Birch trail and Birch drive and we took the windy, leaf covered road back to my dad's old cabin on Platte Lake. I have so many good memories there. I couldn't believe i was able to find it after 10 years. We pulled into the driveway and all the way to the house (we could tell no one had been there for awhile). TJ laughed as he said, "we better not tell your dad what is hanging in the window." I looked and there was a stained glass Ohio State O. Yikes! I pointed out the beautiful field stone that made-up the fireplace and how the huge windows on the front mimicked the ones on the back, so you could see right through the house to the lake. I pointed out the driftwood address holder at the end of the driveway and the tree i think my dad hit where the bark was scarred. I pointed out the dirt road that veered off to the side where i road on the back of my dad's motorcycle, being very careful not to touch the exhaust with my leg.
On the drive home, we took our time. It was beautiful and relaxing. When we got close to Hart, we both started thinking about all we had to do for school. Then, as we pulled in the driveway, TJ said "screw school! I am working in the garage." He is still in there. I unpacked, started laundry, and picked up. Now i have to get to school work. Tomorrow i have a TAT meeting, a grade-level meeting, a staff meeting after school and recess duty. Tuesday, i am meeting with the lady at central office after school to sign some papers about my leave. Busy. But so glad we took time to get away and spend time with each other. TJ truly is a great companion.

TGIF

Tomorrow, after school, TJ and i are getting away for the weekend. It is greatly needed. he was out of town and then parent teacher conferences. By the time he got home, i was half asleep. I am looking forward to spending a quiet, relaxing weekend with the man i love. I truly enjoy his company. I wish we could leave now. Poor guy is at conferences again. YUCK! And i am getting sleepy. . .

Besides a getaway, tj also seems to need a few days of being at home. He is anxious to start the built-in, but hasn't had any time. The day he took off to work on it, he was sick and wound up doing smaller chores, like blowing out our irrigation and buying me a precious moments. Maybe next weekend. . . less than 160 days until baby ellis could be here!!!! It is going fast.

The newest member of my collection. . .

When i came home from scrapbooking on friday, there was a card and a wrapped present for me. Our anniversary was on Saturday, but knowing we would be out of town on that day, tj thought ahead and got me the best, most fitting card ever and this. . .It is called "together is the nicest place to be." This is a typical night at our house. . .TJ rubbing my head as i go to sleep, remote or another cat in his other hand. Because it is past my bed time, i really cannot even begin to put into words how thankful and happy i am about the last six years and the man i got to spend them with. I am excited as i think of the next six years. i love you, TJ. . . i always will.

I forgot the mention, i totally got TJ a woman's card by accident. It said just what i wanted it to, so i missed the fact that it had a pink peony on the cover, fancy writing on pink paper, and a detachable bookmark with a ribbon! When i had realized what i had done, I was laughing so hard i was crying. I signed it anyway, hoping he would focus so much on the words that he would be oblivious to the fact that it was made for a woman!! Ya, he wasn't oblivious. . .really how could you be, unless you had baby brain.

Grocery Shopping

I was going to go grocery shopping yesterday after school, but just didn't have the energy. I barely did today, but i managed it. TJ is in traverse city, so i went alone. Some of you are probably thinking "i always go alone." Well, i don't. Since we have been married we go shopping together, until recently. TJ has been going alone because i couldn't stomach it or have the energy.

Today my cart was such a mess without TJ compulsively putting everything in its place. In single life, i would have never noticed what a chaotic mess my cart was, but after grocery shopping with the man for over 6 years, i am able to see my weakness in cart organization. Notice, i am only able to see it, not fix it. I love that TJ has rubbed off on me. Before i even entered the store i wrote most of my check out because i can never handle loading, writing, and bagging at the same time.

When i arrived home and unloaded the car, i noticed another TJism that i have picked up. I took everything out of the bag and set it on the counter. I used to laugh at tj for doing this, thinking why touch an item twice. . . just take it out of the bag and put it away. I did it. I caught myself when i had already emptied four bags onto the counter. I touched each item twice!

After unloading, i realized that the cashier gave me back my check after it had been run through the register. I don't think he was supposed to do that and i didn't notice until i got home because it was in a pile with the receipt and coupons. I should probably run back up there. . . no way!

TJ will be gone at the conference and then parent/teacher conferences for the rest of the week, so dinners are up to me. I immediately resorted to my single days filled with pasta roni, rice-a-roni, and nachos. I am pathetic!

Most of all, i realized just how much i look forward to seeing tj after work. On a cold and rainy day i want to cuddle and eat some of his chili or soup. I am sure some of you are rolling your eyes. I am just not used to tj being gone. I know i will make it. i always do.

I dragged myself home today

I am tired. Tired from the weekend. Tired from the lack of sleep i have gotten recently. Tired from doing curriculum work today. I am tired. My plan was to grocery shop on my way home today. impossible. Instead, i came home and saved energy for cleaning up the kitchen, unpacking from the weekend, and correcting papers. I just need to sleep. TJ leaves for a conference in traverse city tomorrow for two days.

Despite being tiring, my weekend was wonderful. I have missed my family dearly. We got to hang out with matt, lori, trevor, steve, gail, dad, granna, and aunt carol. We also got to talk to jason, which was great. I really miss my brothers. i didn't get enough dad time, so we are going to meet for dinner later. We didn't get into town until 11:30 ish. . . way past my bed time and i was unable to fall asleep in the car. Then i was up late (okay late for me) on Saturday trying to visit with people when i was half asleep. Then we didn't get home until 8 yesterday. I am tired. Did i mention that i am tired??! AND we are going out of town on Friday, again!

Good News

My union person met with our central office person to discuss my wanting to take the rest of the year after the birth of baby ellis as a leave and to take all of next year as a leave. We met today during my planning. Both union people i talked to were a little concerned because the contract states a year from birth will be granted, which means i would have to come back to work in April of next year for nine weeks. Well, the central office person interprets the contract differently, but in a good way for me. She says that i get my 12 weeks and then my child care leave would kick in for a year from that date. So, i am good until June or August. . .depending on which schedule we go with.

I am so relieved. He said that there still could be some problems up ahead, but he didn't foresee any.

Sunday's List

Balance Checkbook
Pay Bills
Laundry
Empty Dishwasher
Make Loopies
Read MEAP Assessment Book
Correct Papers
Cut out Pattern for Bumper
Sew TJ's Shirt

I got a lot done on my list early this morning. Then i took a nap and have been dragging ever since. It is going to be a busy week. Tomorrow i have recess duty, grade level meeting and a staff meeting. Tuesday the MEAP starts, i have library :( and i am getting my hairs cut. Wednesday we have a doctor's appointment for Baby Ellis and then on Friday i am either scrapbooking or going out of town. The week is going to fly by. Time is flying by. . .i get the feeling that March is going to be here before i know it and i am starting to freak out about all that needs to be done, purchased, and all the changes that are going to occur between now and then. Exciting, but scary!

Yum. . .

This morning, after getting to work, i had a huge urge for grape soda. I almost went out three times to get some, but then my friend came into my classroom and i could tell she had been crying. We talked for about 40 minutes. Grape soda got put on hold. Friends come first. TJ picked me up some on his way home. I am just finishing it now. Yum. I also just finished a big bowl of buttered noodles covered in pepper and Parmesan cheese. Double yum. Now i am going to satisfy my sweet tooth with a TJ bar cookie fresh from the oven. The man is good.I corrected a pile of bar graphs and tally charts my kids made last week. The pile has been haunting me. Every graph is different and there is so much to look for. . . it took more brain power than i have had lately. I was hoping to get a lot more done, but i am unmotivated right now and it is bed time. Tomorrow is a new day, with a few more papers.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Today my mom would have turned 60. I am actually not going to write a big, long post about her. For right now, i feel emotionally drained, especially after reading TJ's memories. I, instead am going to show you two pictures i received in the mail today from my aunt and granna. They are from my mom's birthday in 1978. I am four months old. Notice Jered's face in the one picture. . . i am sure it is because he has to hold me. It is odd for me to see her wedding ring on her finger. I don't have a memory of her wearing it, but i have seen it in her jewelry box so many times that i definitely recognize it. Also, check out my dad in the background looking so hip in his shiny shirt as he looks at his family. I almost enjoy the background of pictures just as much as the foreground.

Tomorrow i am going to school. . .

and it is October first. I have not gone to school on October first in four years, ever since my mom passed away. October first was her birthday and i would stay home to celebrate her life and cry about her passing. I know it sounds weird. It was just something i needed to do. Last year it fell on a weekend. This year, i don't have the sick days and i think i will be alright.
In previous years, i would

• Paint my toe nails (she loved having her toenails painted and always thought i should)
• Watch My So Called Life (this was our favorite show)
• Watch our wedding video (to hear her voice)
• Look through photo albums
• Take a nap
• Cry
• Blog

This year i will be surrounded by students and adults. Really no chance to cry. I do think that i will be alright. I will definitely live my day with many many memories going through my head of her. They will make me smile. Maybe i will cry when i get home. Either way, i am going to school tomorrow.

New Pictures

My dad got me a furby when i was younger. I had it when i lived with Sarah. We both found it kind of creepy, but funny. When we moved, i hid it in some boxes she was taking with her. I guess the bumps in the road made it turn on and talk the whole way to her new place. She finally disassembled it and apparently kept the eyeballs! I still have a picture of furby that i keep tucked in a kitchen cupboard door. . . it makes me smile every time i open it!

Corbin with Furby's eyes! CREEPY!

Aren't they adorable!!

Weekend

Last night, i stayed out later than i have in months. . . which is why i think i am taking a nap in a few minutes. We went out to eat with Kathleen and Rich before heading over to the Frauenthal for the opening season of the symphony. Rob and Kim have season tickets, but were not able to go last night, so we got to go. It was spectacular. The pianist was my favorite. I was absolutely mesmerized by his hands, his talent, and his odd quirks. I must admit, however, that i was excited to go to bed, too. Waking up at 5:15 and staying up until 10:30 about did me in, but i am so glad we went.

This morning we woke up and headed to gary's in Montague for some breakfast. We then went to Octoberfest and bought two mums, a huge sweatshirt for super cheap for when i am really big and just want something cozy to wear, and we of course looked at all the pumpkins and apples. Yum. Now TJ is going to mow the lawn, clean out the gutters, and build a built-in. I am going to take a nap and then clean. Right now, i am chilly and tired and i just want to crawl into bed!

Our Typical Annie

This is what Annie looks like most of the day. . .
Napping.
Drooling. . . profusely.
Tongue hanging out.
Looking unintelligent or drunk.
Stinking.
She has problems.
We still love her.
Most of the time.If you look closely, you can see the string of drool coming from her tongue.

Paying Bills

This morning, in between blowing my nose, i paid bills and balanced the checkbook. The checkbook balanced to the cent in a matter seconds. What a great beginning to the day! I am such a dork. I am starting to get a little worried about finances, and i should be. Many of you know that i am not planning on working next year and i am taking unpaid leave at the end of this year. Money will be tight. I am a firm believer though, that you spend what you have. When tj and i were first married, i worked at hallmark and he went to school. It was tight, but we made it. Our mortgage is about 2 hundred more than our rent was at the time and we do have other expenses that we have added to our lives. . . some we can take away, some will stay. I guess i am not used to being so worried about finances. My check has been going into savings for the last three years, transferring some out as needed. But next year, there won't be that option or as much of the savings. I know this is what God wants us to do though. He will provide, and we will make the necessary changes. We realize a family trip to Disney or the latest clothes and gadgets will not be a part of our lives, and we are alright with that.

The scary thing is, i can only take a year leave from the date of the birth of our child, which means if the board does not grant me more time than they have to, i will likely have to resign. That scares me. Teaching jobs are so hard to get these days. TJ wants to take a leave the following year, while i go back and teach. If the board doesn't grant me what i am asking for, that plan will not work. We will have to see. So much to think about.

I remember my mom living from pay check to pay check, almost like a juggling act. She was pretty talented at juggling. Hopefully, she passed on some of that talent. Even if i continued to work, things would be tight with having to pay for day care. No matter what, we are having a baby and babies cost money. I cannot wait!!!

Today is a day of school work and laundry. I either have a cold or allergies. Yesterday, i think i was running a fever, but today i just feel completely stuffed and my eyes are watering, which makes me think allergies. Anyway, i better go put the next load into the washer. I feel more at peace about finances now that i wrote about it. Blogs are good for that.

Thankfulness

This morning, as i am driving to school, i was overcome with thankfulness. All these things, events, people, flooded my mind and my heart. The family i was born into. The family i married into. My husband. Our jobs. Being pregnant. Being a mother soon. countless and countless more. It started my day off right, a little teary eyed, but right.

It amazes me how when your day starts off good, it just gets better. Bad or annoying things are easier to brush off. Good things seem to find you, or maybe you find the good things. All the smiles and good, just make the good even better. That is how today was. That was my morning.

i was able to brush off when i knelt down to help a student and midway into our conversation he wiped his nose on his sleeve and made a string of snot, a rope really, stretching from his sleeve up to his face. It was disgusting. Yet, it was all the good things that stick out. All the little things that made me laugh or made me smile. All my thankful thoughts played over and over again in my mind. And as i went through the day, more were added. Good thoughts were attracting good thoughts. I look around, and i am so overcome again with thankfulness. It was like a list to God of all the things and people that i never want to take for granted, that i want to thank Him for creating and placing strategically and purposefully into my life, for making our paths cross and intertwine.

Used to

I used to get to school at 7.
Now i get to school at 6:30.
I used to get home around 4.
Now i am lucky if i get home by 5.
I used to be able to correct papers when i got home.
Now i eat, clean up and go to bed.
Something has got to change.
I used to not be pregnant.
Now i am pregnant!
I used to stay up until 10.
Now i go go bed at 8.
Life used to be and is good.

Fellow Parade of Home Goers-

You must check out house/condo number 20 and you must wear blue. . . also don't forget to check out their advertised "enter net alcove"

Just in case you hadn't noticed my links

TJ has a blog. . . and so does baby ellis.

Fall Fun

i love fall. We just returned from the farmer's market. . . yum, fresh tomatoes and apples and nectarines. Then we went to a breakfast dive and had a tasty breakfast. Then on to meijers (yuck) and now we are going to some parade homes. It is a cool crisp sunny fall day. Oh, and we stopped at a hallmark store. I really wanted this precious moments and i couldn't find her anywhere else. Since i am now in my second trimester, i thought i would finally get her. There are a lot of precious moments to celebrate pregnancy, but this one seemed appropriate to buy for myself and seemed appropriate for our situation. I used loopie money to buy her and she is making me smile. Her title is "The Good Lord Always Delivers" and she is holding a book of baby names. Awe....how cute. I know some people reading this feel like vomiting right about now.

Kids? Pregnancy? or Both?

I don't know if it is my group of students this year, or my hormones or a combination, but i am getting so irritated with my kids. Other third grade teachers are saying the same things, but one is also pregnant. The kids do not listen or follow directions. I model what i am asking them to do. I say the directions verbally as well as write them on the board. I have them discuss what they are going to do next with the kids at their table. I ask "are there any questions someone might have? No questions. Then, i set them free and i have a ton of kids come up to me saying, "i forgot what we are supposed to do" or "what do we do" or " i don't get it" or "teacher, teacher". AAHHHHH! The "teacher. teacher" has got to stop. . . they are in third grade and my name is easy to pronounce.

During direct math instruction about pictographs, i had to tell two students for the second time that day to put their Captain Underpants books away. I love reading and i am glad for their enthusiasm, but sometimes you have to do what you don't necessarily want to.

Thankfully, other teachers feel the same way. Thankfully i have planning tomorrow, unlike today. Thankfully i am pregnant. . . i am just so happy about that. Thankfully i have a job that, for the most, part i love.

I guess i need to pray for patience. I have noticed since being pregnant that my road rage has increased and i often find myself bothered by inanimate objects. These are kids. . . kids who see me for seven hours out of their day. I have so much responsibility, so (too) much influence and power. It creeps me out. I need to have patience. All teachers need it. . . even the pregnant ones. Please pray for us.

Breaking the Silence

One can tell school has started. . . silence from my blogs. I was in bed by eight every night, after getting home at 5 or 6. I was/am so tired, but i made it through the first sweltering week.

My students seem like a nice bunch of kids. There are already two that are driving me nuts, but i am sure it is hormonal. One poor boy keeps crying. I feel so bad for him. He has some anxiety issues and can't keep it together. Once he was crying because he rode his scooter to school and it looked like it was going to rain. He just could not get it together enough to tell me. It was impossible to understand. When i finally figured out what he was talking about, we promptly called his mom to have her pick him up. Then he started freaking out thinking that she was only coming if it was raining and he wanted her to come no matter what. Another call home was made because he could not calm down. He couldn't even talk to her to get words out. Crazy.

I am looking forward to sleeping in, at least not hearing my alarm sound. I will sleep past 5:15 tomorrow and i am kind of excited. I think i am going to go eat some crispy crowns, olives, and muenster cheese. Dinner here i come!

A Wonderful Ending

Since tomorrow TJ and i will both be working on school things, today was the last official day of summer for us. And what a wonderful ending it was. This weekend, with our getaway, was just what we needed. We finished off the weekend with me sewing inside as i listened to the hum of wordworking tools in the garage. TJ played around and tested his leigh dovetail jig as i wore out the tips of my fingertips with putting in and taking out pins in fabric. We also cleaned a bit inside and in the garage and finished some odds and end jobs. I got tired so suddenly that i had to stop a sewing project when i was almost at the end. I just couldn't go on. However, i do think i am beginning to get some of my energy back. . . i didn't nap today and i worked until 8:45. Hooray! Just in time for school.

I also ate mashed potatoes that my loving husband made me. YUM! I am ready to settle on the couch as TJ, surrounded by cats, reads his book. Sounds nice. Most Sundays won't be like this anymore. . .

Relaxed and Rejuvenated

We just got back from our last summer celebration. It was perfect. . . just what we both needed. I feel completely relaxed and rejuvenated, especially compared to when we left. We shopped a ton in GR. I got some maternity clothes for school, a snoogle body pillow, thank you cards for all the baby gifts baby ellis has already received, and some other things. We ate out a ton (one place i took one bite and had to get it out of my view). I did have the best cinnamon french toast, though at a place called Sundance. We took a walk around our huge hotel and on the sky walk and then we took a walk along the river. Then we had more errands to run. I told TJ that i didn't want to go back home and empty the dishwasher and pay bills, so he took me to a movie. Bourne Ultimatum was excellent. Now i am home, and it is too late to do my chores, so i guess i will go to bed soon. What a perfect plan. It was absolutely wonderful. We needed that. We just enjoyed each other's company, held hands walking down the sidewalk, laughed together, dreamed about baby ellis, and enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine. I did burst out in tears when i saw two kids that were in the backseat of a hot car, left alone by their mom shopping in the mall. The security guy was questioning the older girl. The other child was crying and in a rear facing car seat. I never appreciated those security guys as much as i did then.

Coming Home

I couldn't get home soon enough today. I was destined for a nap. I was upset, overwhelmed, stressed, angry, and tired. Two days full of meetings. Today's meeting were just about a lot of change. . . change in documenting teacher absences, change in our grading program, change in curriculum, change in the principal's expectations. If you know me at all, you know i am not good with change when it is just dumped on me, with no time to plan for it and no time to reflect on it before responding. I cried when i got home, especially after talking to the rudest person at our credit union. I just needed to cry. I don't know if it is the hormones or my day or both, but it felt good. I am trying to stay relaxed, but there is so much pressure right now. I have such high expectations for teaching my students, sometimes very unrealistic, but i feel like i am made to feel constantly inadequate, unsupported, and unappreciated at times. Instead of being shown the good things we are doing, we are always shown the negative or the things that need to be changed. Nothing stays the same really. I know it is important to be constantly challenging yourself and constantly becoming better teachers, but this is ridiculous.

When TJ got home, he asked what was wrong and i could tell he genuinely wanted to know. i rambled on and on while crying about all the stupid things, changes, and expectations. He listened and hugged. He didn't try to fix or try to make me see it from another perspective. He just listened and hugged. It was just what i needed. I am still overwhelmed. Maybe because i have all these changes in my head, all of these outside pressures and without having my students in the classroom. . . it seems all for nothing. Maybe i will feel better when i actually get to start my job and teach. TEACH. Not filling out stupid monday morning reports, or documenting my positive parent contacts. Not making sure i am teaching the exact same thing my colleagues are at the exact same time or attending grade level meetings to discuss our ever changing curriculum. Not entering grades in a huge database that i don't find useful, or filling out 9 pieces of paper to attend one conference. When the kids come, i will see each of them for who they are and all this other junk will slip to the back of my mind. I will again see my calling. . . to TEACH. It is not the kids that are burning me out. It is all the other junk.- The negativity, the never satisfied administration, the aiming for a moving target, the jumping on the latest band wagon, the last minute changes and delivery, the miscommunication, the gingerbread molds.

TJ took me out to City Cafe. All i wanted to do was sleep, but i could tell he really wanted to eat out and it did sound good to get out and talk about other things. I just had to wait for my puffy eyes to settle down before we could go. Now i am going to bed. I had a long day yesterday and what seemed an even longer day today. I am low on sleep, energy and patience.

Tomorrow we are hanging out in GR and then we are staying at the amway grand for our last little get away and probably eat at Bistro Belle Vista. We are going to do some shopping, some spending, some relaxing, some connecting, and some laughing. Just what i need. When we get back, reality will set in and we will both get less sleep, worry more, and do the best job we can do at teaching our students.

Here we go!

Tomorrow is a day full of meetings, sitting, listening, explaining, snacking, and other energy sucking things. We also have open house, which is almost a week from when school actually starts. I will put on a smile, walk around, greet, talk, try to remember names, explain things, . . . and then come home and completely crash. I haven't gotten up at 6 and had to go go go in a long time, and i have never done it pregnant. I am pregnant (gosh, i love the sound of that)!!!! New experience, new year, new craziness!

I had a wonderful summer. Full of reading spelling articles to become master lindsey (which i successfully signed my teaching contract stating so), helping tj with the gardens, getting pregnant, sewing, reading, visiting with friends and family, relaxing, and enjoying life. Good bye summer. Next summer will definitely be different. . . in a good and busy way! I cannot wait.

Sewing

In spite of how exhausted i felt, i unlatched my beautiful wooden sewing box and began cutting fabric and ribbon. I cut a stack of fabric last week, but wanted to cut a little more. I then proceeded to make five Loopies by Lindsey. I love sewing. I love my sewing box that my father-in-law made special for me. I love how easy and cooperative my machine runs. There is nothing like a machine that actually runs correctly, has hassle free tension, and is user friendly if there is a slight problem - like having to change my needle. I love seeing my effort turned into something cute and cuddly.

The thing that i love most about making my loopies, is the feeling of accomplishment and pride. I am pretty impressed with myself. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I bought a taggie blanket a year ago and paid way more than i thought i should have and thought to myself "i could probably make this." A week later i was making a prototype and asking people what they thought. I tweeked some things and then started cranking them out. That was a year ago. So far i have sold close to 60, made two giant ones for charities, and given them as gifts to many friends.

I love hearing that so many of the people that have bought them for their kids are so incredibly pleased with them. I hear things like their kid can't go to bed without it, their kid has to have one in their crib and in the car, they carry it with them wherever they go. I have even seen them in pictures of my friend's family get togethers. One of my friends buys them for all her nieces and nephews and now her sister, whom i have never met, needs three of them to give as gifts as well.

Although i didn't invent the idea of having ribbon sewn in loops around a small blanket, i have found a way to make them with better fabric, more of a variety of ribbon, and for cheaper. That makes me happy. I was just told on Friday by a friend whose daughter has one that he saw them at a craft show and they were not nearly as nice as the ones i make. Yeah, i am tired, but i actually feel like i did something with my day. . . something i enjoy, something that gives me some spending money, and something that makes babies and toddlers smile.

Yum!

TJ called me at work today to tell me that he was going over to a friend's house to help out for awhile. He also delivered the message to me that there was one piece of Texas sheet cake left and it was mine. What a wonderful husband. I savored the cake, as i am watching Oprah talk about heart disease being the leading killer among women and how eating right can help. It was wonderful cake. i know i need to take better care of myself, especially my heart. I want to be around for my family. . . I want to be there for my grandkids.

I won't be into work for the rest of the week. We are going to visit dad tomorrow. I can't wait to see him and his projects. And then Thursday and Friday i have boring conferences i am signed up to go to. i am in pretty good shape in my classroom for open house, but i am not even close with the important stuff, like plans and schedules. I have another new boss this year. I am tired of getting a new principal every two years, and this new guy doesn't know anything about elementary or special ed! It is scary. he is a real nice guy, but it is still very frightening and exhausting.

I have a bunch of stuff i am supposed to read for these conferences, so i better get going. i should also probably clean the texas sheet cake pan, since TJ made the cake and let me have the last piece.

I am good!

I know i haven't posted in awhile, and i don't want people to worry. I am doing good. . . just tired and a wee bit busy. I have been going into school, watching baby Corbin, hanging out with friends, sleeping, napping, dozing, and smiling. Life is good. I am doing stuff for school this weekend and hopefully making a load of loopies by lindsey. I have an order for three of them and then i want a full basket when school starts. I need to get rid of the mound of fabric in the nursery closet.

I know i've said this before

I cannot believe how incredibly tired i am. Today, when we got back from church, i had the feeling like it wasn't a choice if i took a nap or not. I had to. I lay down on the couch and within minutes i was fast asleep, nothing would disturb me. Now that i am "awake" i feel like the walking dead. My eyes are stinging. I feel drugged. I am floating around trying to get things done, but i can't think straight and i feel so tired. I tried balancing the checkbook and for the first time in ages i am 27 cents off. I was not in the right frame of mind to figure it out. So i decided to water plants and dust the ceiling fans and blinds. I locked myself out of our front door because i am so out of it. I got in through the garage. I hope this gets better.

Pasta a la Caprese

Since my mom passed away in February of 2003, i have had her signature dish, pasta a la caprese, once. A few years ago, tj and i ventured up to my aunt's condo in the UP right on lake michigan. Both my aunt sharon and my aunt andrea made it for us.

Today, i made it. I have been wanting it and have been reminded of it often as the framed recipe, written in my mom's handwriting and stained with olive oil sits on my kitchen shelves by the sink. A precious gift from my big brother jered. I bought tomatoes from the farmers market. They looked and smelled perfect. As i made it, i found that my mom went away from the recipe a bit. Thanks to memories i am making it the true mom way. The recipe doesn't mention anything about seeding the tomatoes, but i distinctly remember her doing it. It made her hands hurt to run them under cold water for so long, so i normally took over for her. The recipe also mentions 20 fresh basil leaves, but i distinctly remember her shaking the McCormick dried basil leaves over the tomato concoction and having me taste it as she went to see if it needed more. The biggest difference would have to be the peppers. It calls for one fresh mild pepper cut into strips. My mom NEVER did that. She bought the banana peppers in a jar and cut those up. The only problem is is that i don't remember exactly how much, so i guessed and looked to see if the concoction looked and tasted familiar. I remember having to go back and get that jar of peppers once or twice in my life because my mom forgot to grab them in the isle. They are always by the pickles.

Now, the tomatoes, garlic, peppers, ground pepper, oil, salt, and basil are sitting in the plastic container covered by the lid. In a bit, i will uncover the bowl and take a little taste, add what it is missing, stir it and cover it again. Then repeat. Unfortunately i do not have it sitting in an avocado green Tupperware dish, like my mom, but i think my container will do just fine.

After it sits and when TJ and i get hungry we will make ziti pasta and add a ton of mozzarella cheese and dump the tomato concoction on the noodles and have ourselves some pasta a la caprese, mom style. Now i see why my mom always doubled the recipe, even though seeding 8 tomatoes got a little tedious. . . you definitely want left overs with this dish. It is one of those meals that are actually better when you warm it up. Here's to you mom. I wish you could come over for a little summer pasta treat, sit at our kitchen table, see our home, and discuss exciting baby things.

And so it begins

The school nightmares have started. The ones where it is the first day of school and the students are filing in with no end in sight. I don't have enough seats. I can't find the breakfast sheet. I have the wrong class list, which means their lockers, seats, mailboxes, and basically everything has the wrong names on them. Paper is hanging off the bulletin boards and i still have boxes of my stuff packed up. I can't even find a pen.

I have been in to school twice already. On wednesday, TJ came and helped tremendously. He moved all my furniture, hooked up all my computers, and actually has the capabilities to picture spatial things. I went in today to do bulletin boards and roam around thinking of all that i have to do. i do feel refreshed this year. Not teaching summer school was the best decision i have ever made, aside from saying yes to my boyfriend at the time question to marry him. That by far was my best decision.

I have already bought 60 some folders, colored pencils, a new tub, glue sticks, pencils, and notebooks.

I decided that i still have so much i can do at home in the air conditioning to prepare for school. I have two books i have to read by August 24th and i have books that i wanted to read during the summer for methods of teaching reading and writing. I have a ton of documents to create on the computer and a couple of posters to make. I am a little overwhelmed, but it will all work out.

Exciting Day!

I was reminded that i again had a monday off. I normally hate mondays. Today, we had our ultrasound (click here for a super cool summary), went to see Harry Potter on 3D IMAX, and bought baby ellis a crib.
I am exhausted. My stomach just doesn't feel normal, but again. . . i am alright with that because i am after all making a person. I don't want to eat anything. When i do eat, it is things like strawberry smoothies, strawberry mentos, or rainbow sherbet. Those just aren't nutritionally sound things for a growing baby, but i am confident that i will get my appetite back soon enough to provide some sustanace. If i try to eat better now, i will just throw it up anyway.

Harry Potter was amazing. And all i had to do was sit and watch. I am still exhausted. I came home and slept for an hour and now i am just waiting till it's time to go to bed, so i can sleep some more!

Local mothers. . . i need your help!

Tomorrow, I graduate from my reproductive endocrinologist in Grand Rapids, which means i now need to find an ob/gyn. As many of you know, i was not crazy about the one who referred me to the GR office. What i would like from you is comments on who was your doctor during your pregnancy and delivery and what you liked about him/her. Also, share what or who you didn't like. Of course, try to think of the appointments as well as delivery and discharge. Even if you told me before, i got everything jumbled in my head, so i would appreciate opinions again. Also, if you happen to work with any doctors (you know who you are!) i would greatly appreciate any input! Instead of just picking a random name, i would like to be somewhat educated. Thanks!!!

So Good to be Home

I get so excited when we pull into our driveway after being gone for just a weekend. I start thinking about our cats around Lansing and make little meowing noises. By Grand Rapids, i get really antsy. I don't know what it is, but i love this side of our state. I love the trees and wild life. I love the lack of traffic. I enjoy going to the farmer's market and knowing the farmers. I love how quiet it seems. And i truly love our home. I find peace on the couch and solitude in its quietness. I love petting our kitties and sleeping in our bed. I love looking at our flowers and reading the Chronicle, no matter how lame it is. I love the color on our walls and the soft carpet under my feet. I love our furniture. I love thinking about future dreams/plans of finishing the basement and putting in a pond. I love my washer and dryer and our tile floor. I like our windows and wood trim. I love our rounded corners of our walls and our hard wood floors. I love looking around and feeling so blessed and gazing at pictures and feeling so loved.

i especially have come to love the life we have over here. Don't get me wrong, family is wonderful. i just feel like this side of the state is for me. . . it is where i fit. It is where i got my education, where i started to choose to go to church on my own, where we got married, where we bought our first house, where we got our first jobs, where are friends are, where my older brother lives and closer to my dad. Where we fit in. We see Muskegon's potential and we are not far from the city of Grand Rapids. We can go to the most beautiful lake and sand dunes and be there in minutes or we can travel a little north and feel like we are on vacation. This is where i belong. This is where we will raise our child. This is home.

Call me Master Lindsey

Just kidding! Yesterday, I met with my professor and then walked over the blue bridge like a right of passage to kinkos to have three copies of my thesis bound. Thirty dollars and two hours later, i was holding a 101 page book that i had worked three months on. Hooray! I was finally done. My prof said that she got 8 copies of hers made. She passed them out like people wanted to read them or something. I wonder if she even autographed them! I just got one for myself because it is actually a pretty boring, repetitive read, but i am done!!!!

We are at gail's for the weekend to visit and celebrate matt's and Steve's birthday. I think we may go to costco today, too. On Sunday we are going to see my granna and aunt carol.

I gust wanted to right about my grate acomplishment of finishing my thesis on speling. (Ha Ha)!

Pictures

I finally downloaded some pictures. Here is what we have been up to. . .Thanks to my dad's power washer, we got the mold and grayness off of our porch and deck. I am glad TJ didn't rip his barefoot open.

Then, a fresh coat of stain went on the deck and porch. He also stained the front boards that he just installed. And we got hostas from matt for $3.00

The starrs came over for some scrapbooking, air conditioning, dinner, and Last Comic Standing. Corbin fell alseep during the show. . .i almost did.

While Sarah and i were scrapbooking and Nate was taking a placement test, TJ read Rendezvous with Rama to Corbin. He seemed so interested in the story.

Baby Ellis Blog

Awhile ago, TJ started a new blog for the future addition to our family. I won't double blog anymore, now that it will be public. Check it out here.

Nauseated

Today the developing Baby Ellis is making me feel quite nauseated, but it is by far the best nausea i have ever had. . . because there is a purpose, and an exciting reason. I am so thankful that i get to experience this miracle called pregnancy. I love feeling tired, nauseated, bloated, gassy, and hungry. I love peeing four times during the night and being reminded that Baby Ellis is growing inside of me. I know i am weird, but i am enjoying every miserable moment of pregnancy so far.

200th post brings good news

My chapter three got approved. She wrote that i was good to go. I meet with her on Friday armed with my hard copy. At that time, she is only going to look at formatting. In order for it to be bound correctly, it has weird margins and the title page needs to be visible through the window on the cover. After meeting with her, i walk from her office right across the blue bridge that goes over the river right into kinkos doors and request it copied and bound x3. I cannot tell you how much relief i feel right now.

I just took all the stuff from shucking the corn to the compost pile on the edge of our woods. And i scared 4 chickens. Where did those guys come from?? I think TJ got them and just never told me. He has always wanted chickens. I guess that gives me the right to get me a pygmy goat! Yee Haw!

Tomorrow, i think i am going to go shopping for bigger clothes and weed the back garden. TJ is staining the back deck right now, but tomorrow he has a meeting at school he has to go to. i need to shop and i am not going to be upset about my big size because, after all, i am pregnant (man, i love the sound of that) and have huge cysts in me. I haven't gained a pound since i stopped my injections, but i have put on a lot of weight because of my injections. I can't fit into any of my pants. Today, i brought up my fat bin, took the clothes out, and replaced them with my "skinny" clothes- not that i was ever skinny, but i was much smaller than i am now.

So, i just looked over at Annie, my drooling cat. And she was sitting on the coffee table licking her paw. . . like how she does it when she is sitting up on my fish tank after she has put her paw in the water. I watch a little longer and i saw her insert her paw nearly to the bottom of my tall glass of pure water, remover her paw and lick it again. Then she repeated this three more times before moving on. Gross. I guess i am getting a new glass of fresh water and i will never leave it on the coffee table out of my sight again.

Terrible thesis

I am so exhausted from thinking about my thesis. I am tired of having it hang over my head as i am looking at cribs with TJ. I am tired of worrying about it when i am sipping my lemonade at Panera bread. I am tired of dreading working on it when i wake up on beautiful Sunday morning. Soon, it will be done. I finally heard back from her after sending my prof the first part of my chapter three. She said i was very, very much on track. And that i needed to remember to cite the literature again, even though it might seem tedious and repetitive. This whole thing is quit repetitive. I just want to finish it. I also sent my prof all of chapter three and i have not heard anything from her. So, today, i am just going to go through it (AGAIN) and add citations and literature (AGAIN) and call it good. I think. Until i hear from her, that is. August first is quickly approaching and she needs a hard copy by then. We have been submitting things electronically, so i don't know if i am supposed to hand deliver a hard copy to review together or mail a hard copy (which would cost a ton). Yikes!

I am glad i have fresh corn to eat today and beautiful glads TJ got me at the farmer's market yesterday. I put them right in front of my working spot to make me smile. Oh yeah, and i have my very own pint of Ben and Jerry Chubby Hubba ice cream. What a tasty treat.

Chubby Hubby

I am not calling my hubby chubby. In fact as i write this, he is downstairs exercising. I am writing about the Ben and Jerry ice cream that we got last night at Meijer. We needed an ice cream run. I, of course, got my mint cookie and tj went for something new to him. . . Chubby Hubby. This ice cream is unbelievable . It has Fudge covered pretzels that are peanut butter filled in vanilla malt ice cream with swirls of fudge and peanut butter. Wow. i have a new favorite.

When we were standing in line at meijer, there was a guy behind us who was buying 6 big bottles of resolve carpet cleaner. He was on his cell telling the person on the other end that he was still two short. i was dying to ask, but i didn't.

I can grow people

I went for my first ultrasound today that involved looking at something other than my ovaries and lining. . . we were in search of a human growing. And the little human, only measuring .13cm, was found in a healthy gestational sac. Due date: March 25, 2008. The Dr. gave us a congrats card with a picture of our ultrasound. The only thing is - i have many large cysts on my ovaries. That explains why my clothes don't fit and why it hurts to bend. He said to take it easy and that it is normal for the shots i was on. We go back in two weeks and then we will "graduate" from there. We were so relieved that everything is healthy. We both didn't sleep well last night due to wondering if bad news was coming our way. . .and my thesis.

Last night, at about 8:30 i looked on my e-mail to find a message from my prof to call her at home about my chapter 3. Ya, not good. It is a mess. She says it just needs some tweaking, but it is a mess. In fact, before hanging up at around 9, she asked me if i could send her some of the new pages in the next couple hours. I told her no. I was exhausted and half asleep already. Then i went on to tell her that i was going to be out of town all day today. I have some work ahead of me. Pray for me.

Today was nice. After the DR. we went and ate breakfast with Jered as we discussed the Harry potter books and movies, pictures on the wall, and deep concepts. Then TJ and i headed went shopping (I am getting way too familiar with public restroom. . . i have to pee all the time), and met gail and lori. I am so lucky to marry into such an incredible family. Families are so cool. It was wonderful to see them. Again, it makes me wish we lived closer.

Well, since i got to sleep late last night and didn't sleep at all from 2:45- 5:00, i am going to bed now. Good night.

Unsuccessful Chapter 3

Yuck. My prof got back to me and my chapter three needs to be fixed. . . a lot i think. I thought i was so close to being done. Guess i was wrong. I worked three more hours on it. We will see if i am going in the right direction, or further in the wrong. She said i was relying too much on my appendices to describe my project. My appendices are made up of tables upon tables of words sorted by patterns and features. How do i not rely on those to describe it? Oh well. I will see what she says with the revision. Yuck. I want to be done. . .so that there is time when i don't have to think about my thesis or school. That won't happen. I already had my first back to school dream. Oh well. At least i get to have fun in GR tomorrow.

Marvelous Monday

Today is marvelous. Because i am not at school. I am trying to remind myself of that this summer. It was easy to remember when i took a nap today at 1:00. It is easy to take for granted. I always hated Mondays. . . staff meetings, recess duty, waking up early again. Freedom for a little bit longer. I sent away chapter 3 to my prof today. When it is okayed i need to do the table of contents, abstract, title page and go to kinko's to get two copies bound. I am almost done!

TJ has been staining all day. Our porch is looking beautiful and fresh. The railing looked tedious to get done. I am staying away from the fumes. Because i am pregnant. I like to say that.

We got our first "congratulations on your pregnancy" gift. It is a baby Einstein video that has classical music. How exciting! Our ultrasound got switched to 8:00 tomorrow. Which means waking up extremely early and hanging out the Whole day in GR. Not bad. I just hope we don't spend a lot of money. . .that is easy to do when we are shopping all day. We might go see Harry Potter on the imax screen or to Frederick meijers gardens. Then we are meeting gail and lori for dinner. Another tasty treat!

Well, i am going to clean some fresh, first picking yellow beans that we got at the farmer's market. YUM!

I Finished

I read Harry potter all yesterday (TJ got it after i fell asleep and stayed up until 3) and i read it for a good chunk of the day. . . besides making a loopie, eating and going to a birthday party. What a downer. . . there will never be a Harry Potter book written again. Will she continue to write other books? Will she have considered herself accomplished enough to never publish anything else? What makes me really sad is that all those main characters really seem real. She writes with such clarity and detail that you actually feel like you know them. It is sad.

I wish i was writing to say that i am done with my thesis. It is due August 1st and i am close. Tomorrow, i am going to proofread all 88 pages (most of that has already been read and proofread my prof), do my table of contents and insert my references. TJ saved the day again of Friday by setting up my Appendix header. My patience was wearing thin. Then Tuesday, we go for my first ultrasound where i actually have something growing in me!! It just doesn't seem as bad to have something inserted up you, when there is something growing in me that they want to check. Hooray! Then TJ and i get to shop in GR for a bit and then meet gail and lori for a bite to eat. Lori was in a triathlon today. . . i am dying to know how it went.

TJ is reading. He was so patiently waiting for me to either succumb to sleepiness or to finish, so he could continue the potter tale. Good night.

A New Addition?

So, TJ and i are in charge of feeding my friends' cats while they are in the UP. We love their cats and they live close, so it is not a big deal at all. When we get there, Ramona was quick to hop off the window ledge and say hello. Then Amelia came and Meowed at us. While we were putting food in the bowls Max came and rubbed against my leg. We didn't see Sir Elton the white cat, but then as we were putting the last bowl down, a grey and white cat that i had never seen came up the basement stairs. It was bizarre, not so much at first that there was another cat, but because i didn't know what to call this cat. Then i thought that maybe Sir Elton got dirty, but no. . . it was definitely supposed to be a grey and white cat. And it had a different shape to it. I patted it on the head and we were on our way. It was a nice enough cat. Maybe there was another addition to the family, but our friends failed to mention it since they just had Corbin, and he is more exciting. Could they possibly have five cats now?

Eating Healthy

I really need to stop having chips and dip. Overall, i am eating much healthier than i was . . . making sure i am getting my fruit and veggies in and definitely getting all of my water in (which if you know me, is a huge thing). However, i am eating some stuff i probably shouldn't, like potato chips and dip. I find that i am a little nauseated when i need a snack. So i am eating littler meals, but more of them. Most of the time i make a good snack choice. . . yogurt, a banana, strawberries and blueberries, orange juice. But sometimes i choose chips and dip.

Today is an absolutly gorgeous day. Tj finished power washing the back deck. What a difference! Now he is working on the front porch. We will stain next week, allowing time for the wood to dry. I am working on my thesis. I just want to be done!! I can't believe the feeling i will have when that thing is complete.

I slept so well last night. Tonight Harry Potter comes out. Tomorrow might just be a day of reading in the sun.

Thesis

My thesis is due in two weeks. Today, i am finding myself taking short cuts. . . only doing samples of lessons instead of including the full program. I want to get this done, so i can move on with my life. That means though that i am just doing what i need to get it done. . . not to be as useful in my classroom.

I want to look on-line at baby things and pregnancy forums. I want to read some of the pregnancy magazines my friend gave me. I want to scrapbook. I want to help out more around the house. By the time i finish my thesis, i will need to get going on school stuff. But, at least i had the summer to do this.

Today, i woke up at 5 with such intense pain in my abdomen. I was scared. After laying in bed and using the bathroom, i came out and slept on the couch. It hurt to stretch out so i curled up . . . and there i found the problem. Gas. Intense gas came exploding out of me, but was definitely replaced with some peace. I feel much better, now. I am a little nauseated, but still excited. I just got up from a nap, so i suppose i should get back to my thesis.

Unlucky 13?

I was born on June 13.


We got married on October 13.

We found out we are pregnant on July 13.

13 is our lucky number!

I had my blood drawn again this morning. My HcG levels look good. They should double about every 72 hours. On Friday, my levels were 79. Today they are 495. My doctor said that they would be satisfied with 320, so i am going strong!! I am feeling great. . . just tired and constantly needing to pee, but GREAT!! I go in for an ultrasound on Tuesday.

This is a scary time. Don't get me wrong, we are ecstatically excited, awesomely amazed, surprisingly shocked, and extremely thankful. We also know that things can happen. Normally we wouldn't tell people at such an early time, (i have been pregnant for two weeks) but we also know how many of you have been praying for us, waiting with us, and supporting us. You deserve to know. We are also aware that no matter what happens, we could continue to use your prayer. So although i bring you exhilarating news, we ask that you continue to think of us in your prayers, and continue to support us in the exciting time. Thanks for celebrating with us! Thanks for your prayers. We are so EXCITED!

The Front Garden

TJ has been busy with the front garden and the shade garden. This is what we have so far. I have been busy with my thesis. I have to get it done. This morning, i cut some daisies for a vase and walked around in the garden. I need to clean today and work a bit more on my thesis. Hooray! I am not sure if we are going to church or hanging out with some friends tonight. Last night we got home so late from a going away party. . . i slept until 9:30! Crazy!




TJ put up the wood on the porch. We think it looks more finished. We are putting hostas where the flags are in front of the boxwood. For the other part of the garden, we are continuing with fairly low maintenance plants: daylilies, azelias, hydrangea, and some other big bush. We have Chester the weeping cherry on one end and a plum tree my dad got us as a house warming gift, along with a devil fern that is in the shade garden.

I did it!

I worked on my thesis for hours today. Yeah for me. TJ worked outside and went to Lowe's. We are now working on the front garden, since we took all the flowers from there. We have had boxwoods that we planting in front of the porch for a couple of years. They are still in their container and their roots are going crazy! TJ is putting wood across the bottom of our porch. I HATE latice, but we wanted it to looked finished and to provide a background for the plants. We saw another house that did this and we like it. The boards run horizontal. Soon we will power wash our deck and porch and then stain it for the first time since the house was built. We actually have mold growing on our deck right now. I am totally rambling because i just got back from Thirsty Thursday. I am tired, but not tired enough to go to bed. I need to wind down. I think i will read. I am still finishing Crooked Little Heart. I need to finish it before the next Harry Potter comes out. . . that is soon!

Harry Potter

We just got back from seeing harry potter. It was excellent. . . if you expect it to be different from the book because it is quite different. It made me really want to fly at super speed through the air on a broom, for fun, of course, not to escape from lurking dementors. Her books are beyond words. They are incredible. . . and the movies are excellent as movies, but they miss so much of the book. I wonder how many people in the audience have actually read the book. I feel like the people that didn't had no business being there!

I took another day off from my thesis (and i only thought about it three times during the movie). We went to the farmer's market in montague and got some yummy looking veggies. Then we rented a rototiller and started on the garden in front of our porch. We thought we had a plan, but then while out to eat before the movie we started thinking about other ways to finish it off. Hummmmm. . . . We worked outside all day. It was wonderful. I weeded, watered, planted, deadheaded, cleaned up, made two stepping stones from my stepping stone kit. Much more progress than writing a thesis, don't ya think? Tomorrow is thesis day. . . until we go out to Thirsty Thursday. Every other Thursday some teacher friends get together at different places and quench some thirst. I, of course, will only be consuming non-alcoholic ones because there is a good chance i am pregnant, even though i don't feel like i am. I mean i know i ovulated, and we did our thing, and we know they can swim. . . so shouldn't i be pregnant? I wish it was as certain as that. Unfortunately it is not. Time will tell. And then i will tell. . . either way the test reads. I know some of you are praying and hoping and are wanting to know.

I tried

I really tried hard to get more of my thesis done today. I didn't get very far. . . i am just at a huge stand still. It is torturous. I took a break at 2:00 to weed the day lilies along the side of the garage. It was relaxing, but then it was back to it. Right now i am watching Rosanne. I never watch this show, but it caught my attention when i saw roseanne in bed with her legs up, obviously trying to get pregnant. She later got her period. That sucks. I wonder if that is going to happen to me. I am still feeling very hopeful. . . not for any particular reason, that is just how i am. I don't have any symptoms, but am still very hopeful. :)

I just got done writing in my flower/plant journal. I have kept it since we moved in and my dad gave us a plum tree. It helps me keep track of where everything is at and who gave us what. It is neat to see how little the plants were when we got them and now how huge they are. I have a lot of catching up in it to do now that we have more permanent homes.

I am tired and all i want to do is eat stuff i am not supposed to eat. French fries sound good. Maybe some cheese. . . muenster or fresh mozzarella. Warm strawberry Rhubarb pie and vanilla ice cream. A can of Mountain dew glistening with condensation.

We were tempted to go to the Harry Potter 12:01 showing tonight, but we are waiting to see it tomorrow when i will more likely enjoy it because i will be more awake. I cannot wait to see it. I can't wait for the next book to come out either. I hope all of my questions are answered, but i am prepared that they might not be.

I am completely babbling, nothing of content. Nothing that i will read ten years from now and be blown away wit my thoughts or feelings. I think i better stop. I could go on for ever about nothing in particular.

Lounging at the Pool

I went to Marilee's today for some relaxation and catch-up time. Tiffany and Marilee's kids were meeting to play together and i was tagging along for some good conversation. We headed off to Her mom's house for the pool. There were so many kids there. . . it was wonderful. The gardens were absolutely beautiful and so was the company. Tiffany has been in the place where i am now. . . the two week and waiting place of over analyzing, doubt, impatience, pure excitement and hopefulness. Knowing and talking wit h someone who has been there always helps.

Yesterday's beach day was relaxing. It gave me time to think and to pray and to ponder and to wonder, and to worry, and to analyze, and to hurt, and to be peaceful and to pray some more. We were there for hours, as we read, people watched, napped, and swam. I have to blog about his woman that i saw. I was trying to hold in the laughter so hard i was crying. This eccentric looking lady wearing a black and white cover up (that did not cover enough up) with many different ying-yangs surrounded by an outlind of a sun and moon. The bottom of the cover-up was not hemmed straight. Rather, it was cut jaggedly, to aid in the blowing-in-the-wind kind of look. She was probably in her forties and life looked like it had been pretty hard on her. . .wrinkly, obese, leathery, witchy. She walked in front of us as her cover-up blew back catching the wind and exposing a black full piece bathing suit. She was carrying one of those stadium foam seat things and i was wondering where she was going. The beauty about reading on the beach is that you can basically peer over your book through your sunglasses and stare at people without them knowing. It is a people watcher's dream. Anyway, as i was watching her, i was wondering why she was going to sit apart from her family. . . and then i realized that her family probably was glad she didn't look associated with them. She stopped close to us. She put the foam seat flat on the sand, got down on her hands and knees and started looking towards the sky then to the sand then to the sky, and so on. Her bathing suit butt pointed in our direction the whole time. . . not pointed towards the dune, but towards us. Next she started rolling her back and then squatting and breathing heavy. I nudged TJ to take a look and right when he looked She had spaced her legs apart and bent down with her cover-up ferociously blowing in the lake breeze. We saw all the lumps and bumps on her thighs and her wide bottom scarcely covered by an over-stretched bathing suit. We almost died. I loudly said, "This book is hilarious." We then watched (over our books, of course) her do several other yogo moves. The puking cat, the clumsy cobra, the begging lady, the wobbly tree. The wobbly tree was the best. If you are familiar with yogo, in the high winds the lady was trying to do the tree stance, but she kept having to put her leg down because she could not get her balance. When she finally did, she put her hands up in the air and let her cover-up fly away from her front and whip around her back, like a super hero. It was hilarious.

Good Intentions

I had good intentions to work on my thesis all day today, until my creepy dentist appointment at 2. However, late last night i received a phone call that invited me to hang out at a pool with some friends. Knowing that i should, and that i want to, i am going. I will be spending another day in the sun, relaxing, laughing, and chatting. I will not be working on my thesis. I will not be starting the first day of teaching summer school today. Instead, i will be making connections and building relationships with people i care about. It's not tangible, but it is worth it. Thesis, maybe i will see you tomorrow. I really need to meet with you again. Time is getting short.

Sunday

I just have so much emotions swimming around in me today, they really can't be explained by words. Life is just crazy, you know? Full of new beginnings, giggles, crying, endings, surprises, pain, desire, hurt, longing, smiles, laughter, friends, complex emotions. I can't handle it all today, so i am going to the beach after sitting in the garden at Pekidills. My motivation was sucked out of me upon awaking, and i don't think i am going to get it back, so i will cave into the frivolousness of lounging on the beach, reading, and swimming.

I feel kind of like i have pms, which is not what i want at this point in time, but it could be that i am tired (didn't sleep well last night), or that i am reminded of how fragile and complex life and people are.

Morning Enjoyment

One of my recent appreciations has been the wonderful contrast of the brilliant blue sky with the luscious green maple leaves. I could stare up at it for awhile, taking in its bigness and beauty. However, now as i sit out on the desk, i have something new to look at. . . a new appreciation- a garden built by our two hands. And i absolutly love it. We already took a walk through it together this morning, Tj with his coffee and me with the camera. There are many pictures that might not really interest you, but we are pretty proud and excited. Most of the plants are in transplant shock, for we moved them from a home of at least a couple of years, but they will like their new home- i hope. We actually only spent $50 in plants. We needed some that you could walk on for our path and we needed some for the top rock garden. While walking by the rock garden, one will find Hens & Chicks, Voodoo Sedum, Creeping Phlox, pottery snails, a believe rock, and red sedum.
Along the path in the middle garden grows a hosta (from david) , lots of lilies (from TJ), red mums (from TJ) , daisies (from Morgan, a student from four years ago) , hardy geranium (from Kathleen), clematis bush (from Kathleen), spiderwort (from Lori), pink peony (from Lori), Creeping thyme (new purchase), Hyacinths (from Marilee and TJ), some button (new purchase), and two mystery plants (from David- i forgot what they were!).
As you walk down the steps into the lower garden the lower garden is a juniper (from David), tons of daisies (from Morgan), Thyme new purchase), Fox Glove (new purchase), pink mums ($.50 each!), Cone Flowers (From Aunt Carol), Columbine (new purchase), Black-eyed Susan (from David), and short shasta daisies (new purchase).
I love walking around the garden and thinking of all the friends and family that we got the flowers from. I finished planting at 10:00 last night, tired, mosquito bitten, and filthy. But i cried at the sight of what we had done. It is going to take awhile to fill in and look mature, but for a one-day old garden. . . it doesn't look bad at all. We love gardens and we have waited so long to have this one. It will bring us great enjoyment. We still have some plants to move to a shade garden that have been patiently waiting for a permanent home. We know right were it is going to be, we just haven't had the chance. I love where we live!

It's coming along!

Our backyard was always nice - trees, hills, wildlife, but now with some hard work, it is really coming along!
This turtle was discovered in our journey up the hill to fetch more stone. He hung around for a few days.
There are three baby birds in the rafters of our patio. The mom was actually okay with us working so close to her nest for a week. They better leave before the power washer starts!!
Our new patio set we found on clearance. The top is made of tiles of your choice. We have been eating dinner and lunch out there. It is wonderful!

We just added the slate today as a walkway through the future garden. . . it is complete with some plants that can be walked on. . . tyme, button, and sedum. Some is also planted in the cracks of the rocks. We are transferring plants tongiht!