Happy Mother's Day!!

To celebrate this day, i am posting some pictures from one of my favorite websites, Cake Wrecks. Enjoy!

Not the Best

Today was not a great day as a mom or as a homeowner. I struggled with both today. . . maybe because i was trying to juggle both or maybe because i am in a reflective mood about how i am as a mother. I definitely don't need words that say how great a mom i am or how lucky jaely is to have me or blah, blah, blah. I don't need those because i know those. Those seem so shallow right now to me.

I struggled today because my personality is to take care of something quickly. For example, i don't see the need to put dishes by the sink or in the sink when they are dirty. . . just put them right into the dishwasher. When the leaves fall, rake. When the trash is full, take it out. When the dust forms on top of the wood, dust it. So, when your garage is full of wet, nasty valuables, clothes, decorations, books, etc. . . take care of them. Clean it up. Clean it out. Dry things out. Gets some air to things.

I can't do that with a one year old. I just can't. I can hardly get to the things that need to be done daily, let alone a minor disaster, like a flood. In the end, jaely gets the raw end of the deal- a mom who is too tired to talk or play and who is trying to get things done while jaely talks and plays by herself. Then, because i am tired, i don't have a lot of patience for things like opening cupboards and touching cords, etc. So i think she is being a little stink bug, when in reality it is my patience that stinks.

But that isn't even it. What is bothering me even more is the realization that i am who she spends most of her day with. This is going to be a hard one to explain. I think it is best explained by first giving an example. A few months ago, i had been trying to get jaely to clap. I would hold each of her hands and clap her hands together. it really wasn't working and i was fine that she wasn't clapping yet. I brought jaely to school one day and a dear teacher who has older kids of her own and a grandchild sat down with jaely and had jaely grab each of her hands and then she clapped her hands together, thus having jaely clap her hands too. I made the remark that i have never thought to teach jaely like that. She said it comes with experience. Another example might be when gail whispered in Jaely's ear for the first time when she was so young. Jaely loves it. I have never thought of doing that. My neighbor's kid is learning to trace his hand, not with any help of his mom, but because of his daycare person. My neighbor never thought to have him try that. My dad was the first one to try to stand jaely up on her legs on his table. I didn't think to do that. Instead of having high expectations for her to do things, i think i sell her short and then don't do things with her that i am supposed to.

I guess what i am saying is that i don't have expereince. Sometimes i feel bad that all jaely gets is me. That's it. . . me. Sometimes i think i would welcome an *excellent* daycare person for jaely. I definitely welcome grandparents to live closer. I love to see TJ spend time with jaely in the evenings because he does things differently with her. I watch to see what he does because a lot of times i have never thought of doing that.

I am not sure how jaely and i spend our days! Recently i have been so excited about the fine motor skills she has been getting- putting things in things, trying to put things together. I know that she definitely isn't in bad shape for having me with her for the majority of the day, but i am not sure if she is truly benifiting from it. I don't know what i am doing! I am new at this.

Today was a struggle. Poor TJ has spent his days pumping water, getting gas for the pump, moving the pump, vacuuming up water in the basement. . . which means i am stuck inside with jaely, just like any other day. . . possibly worse because he is working later than normal taking care of all this stuff. I needed a break desperatly. I am having a hard time being honest, for fear that i may sound like a bad mom, but i needed a break. I just needed someone else to think about what jaely is going to eat, or what we can play with next, etc. I needed a break from my routine. I needed it to feel like a saturday.

I still feel like i can't explain things adequetly. . . but i tried my best and i do feel better writing about it.

I am blessed.
I am loved.
I am a mother (something i have wanted for a long time)
We are healthy.
Things are good. . . they really are. :)

Basement Blues

This morning, i went downstairs to check out the situation. We had water down there, but there were still dry patches of floor. I made sure the pump was working outside. TJ has been pumping water out to a little ditch from our backyard. The patio was under water and now the top was above water, thanks to the pumping. The water was finally going away. . .


Then it RAINED. . . hard.


I went to GR. I couldn't sit around and listen to it rain and worry all day. There was nothing i could do any way. Last night we were up late moving things that we didn't want to get wrecked either up higher or out in the garage. We have a ton of plastic tube, so a lot of our stuff we stacked on those.

We fed jaely, gave her a bath and were getting her ready for bed, when i heard something fall in the basement. TJ went down there to discover our tubs floating. Since they were floating, the stuff we stacked on them had fallen into the seven inches of water.

These pictures are after we moved many things up to our garage (thankfully TJ cleaned that out last weekend)


The water has moved past the bottom of our furnace, so that is currently off. We called Serve-pro and they said there is nothing we or they can do until the water on the outside is nearly gone. We have to wait/ wade it out. It is hard to sit upstaits, knowing that right below you is gallons of water. . . moving up your insulation, up your drywall, up the carpet on the stairs, up the couch and recliner, up the desk TJ made and his wooden 75 gallon fish tank stand. . . This is slider downstairs. The water is past the bottom.


Both our neighbor's and our property are surrounded by big and little bodies of water that after today's rain have all connected to eachother. The water covers our patio and the first layer of our garden. We have lived her almost 6 years and we have not had anything come close to this. This is absolutely CRAZY!

TJ's sexy legs in our basement






I know, a lovely picture- you can't tell that i am frowning. . . these are my cheeky chimp shorts. Pants just don't work in a situation like this. . . nor do shoes. The water is cold, and dirty, and i am confident i will get some kind of funky foot fungus or later find a grub between my toes. I do wonder if the moles drownd in the water. That would be one good thing. . . i guess. I am glad that jaely is a really good sleeper.

If we can't stay warm. . . Jaely and i are going to hang out at my sister-in-law's house. I think we will be alright.

We need sunshine and a strong warm breeze. TJ is taking tomorrow off and renting a "big ass pump" that will suck the same amount of water in a minute that our current pump takes an hour to pump. I LOVE spending money on fun things like this.

Out in the Garden

While Jaelynne was napping, i got some work done. I weeded a little (i know, i cannot believe i am having to weed already) and i got a lot of leaves out of the rock garden. While working, the sweet aroma of hyacinths filled my nostrils. . . much better than the smell from dirty diapers sitting in a closed up room for two weeks in a warm house (that happened to my mother-in-law today!)

Today, while working, i discovered new neighbors that moved in right behind our house at the edge of our lawn. . . .you have to look closely at the picture
Do you see it. . . the tiny door at the foot of the tree. . . hmm. How exciting!

Spectacular House

We went to look at this house today during an open house. I loved how much character is has as a lumber era house. . . the woodwork and built-ins were so neat. It would take a lot to maintain all the wood, inside and out and i think the kitchen could stand a bit of remodeling. Also, it would be hard to have all the bedrooms up stairs share one bathroom. . . but the character of the house is amazing. . . clawfoot cast iron bathtub, wooden crown molding, huge mahogany pocket doors, solid wood doors with original hardware, window seats, gigantic covered porch, two wooden staircases (three levels), and leaded windows. Amazing.

A friday afternoon nap

During Jaely's afternoon nap, i decided to get to work outside. I raked the shade garden and then walked around to see how things were doing. From afar the back garden looks rather lifeless and uneventful. . .. but exciting things are taking place. One just has to look closely, appreciate the little things, and imagine the beauty it will be in a month or two!!

From afar. . .

Up close-

Garden phlox is coming!

One of the many hyacinths. . .So fragrant.

Peony- i love how it emerges reddish from the ground

Creeping Phlox- it is an evergreen, but i still appreciate seeing it after all the snow melts and soon it will be a carpet of pinks and purples

Hens and Chicks- a personal favorite. They almost look like they belong on another planet.

Sedum- a bright dome of green among the gray rocks

The day lilies are emerging on the side of the garage. Later they will grow until there is a wall of green and you can't tell one plant from the other.
In the shade garden. . .

Bleeding Heart- another favorite

Look at all the new growth on the plum tree (the things that are shooting straight up)

The Weeping cherry has buds. . . one of the early bloomers of the season

A mole trap. . . .yuck.

The flowers are coming!

I walked out to look at the garden today and got so excited. The hyacinths are popping, the cherry tree is starting to get tiny buds. The day lilies are spreading and the grass is getting greener. The sedum is coming up in its rounded clump way. The hens and chicks, phlox, and boxwood survived winter and are getting greener! I used to despise spring. . . now that we have gardens , i find it excitng!

I am not sure when i will get a chance to work out there. I could do it now as jaely naps, but i have toilets to clean and dishes to do and dust to dust.

It is supposed to be sunny and warm for the next few days, so i will make it a point to get out there. But, for now, i am enjoying it without working in it!

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata. . . means no worries. . . .

Date night was awesome. After Gail picked jaely up from us in Lansing, TJ and i wandered the mall there a little. I got changed into my black and white linen dress with purple satin trim and my purple heels. We went to eat at Gilbert and Blake's seafood and grill. We had drinks, a wonderful meal and two decadent desserts that we shared. My drink was a little strong and we had some time to kill, so we ate slowly and enjoyed eachother's company. I was surprised. . . we didn't talk about Jaely very much. It was so nice to be out in public, dressed up and not cutting food into tiny bite size pieces for jaely.

We then headed to MSU's Wharton center. It was a pretty nice theater. I did miss the historical feeling and decorative surroundings. . . like in Toronto or chicago, but it was nice. We had spectacular seats. . . second row in the grand tier. The show amazed us. . . not just the singing, but the costumes and puppeteering. I often just enjoy things and don't think about the how, but this show forced me to think of the how. How are they doing that? How are they making it look that way? That was the most talkative first act i have ever witnessed. People were whispering with amazement and pointing in all directions. It really was unbelievable.

The show didn't start until 8 and we still had to drive to gail's, so we got home pretty late. It was well worth it. I feel rejuvenated as a wife and as a mother. I needed to feel sexy, to have the door opened for me, to grab my husband's hand from across the table and look into his eyes, to have him look at me that certain way, and to be surrounded by adults.

Thank you gail! It is so wonderful to have jaely in such trusting care that it doesn't occupy our minds while we are trying to enjoy a night out. Around 8:45, i had a thought/worry that maybe jaely was crying and wasn't sleeping well for gail, but then i dismissed it knowing that jaely is probably sleeping and if she isn't gail can handle it. . . she might even get some cuddle time! My thought lasted for maybe 30 seconds and then i returned to watching the performance.

It truly was an evening of no worries. Hakuna matata.

Now TJ is working on school stuff and my list of things i need to get done around the house is growing. . . .but i feel so energized and rejuvenated.

Making the Best of Spring Break

It is April, but it sure doesn't feel like it outside. I was really hoping for sunshine, blue skies and time in our gardens, but it doesn't look like that is going to be the case. In fact, i just purchased a sweater that Jaely can wear over her Easter dress (all her dresses, really). Brrrr.

It was a wonderful day today. It really felt like spring break for me. I went shopping and surrounded myself with spring looking clothes and accessories. The best part is that i didn't have jaely (she can't read yet, so i can write that). TJ had her all day while i wandered around town, went into places that i have always wanted to go into, and barely spent any money! It was great. I did meet TJ and Jaely for lunch. The best part??? Coming home and seeing Jaelynne get so excited to see me!! Now i know how TJ feels when he gets home. :)

I actually couldn't stay out as long as i had intended because of my stupid cold. I have a bad cough and my head is so full i can hardly think straight. It was still a great day!

A good laugh.

You have to check out this cake wreck site~ Hilarious!

These are just a few samples. . . and the blogger cracks me up!

Nothing in particular

This has been a tough week. All three of us seem to be getting little sleep. Tomorrow, TJ heads to Traverse City and i am staying back this time. Jaely slept a little better last night.

i am so tired. I know part of it is that i am not taking good care of myself. I need to start drinking more water and eating a lot healthier. . . and a little exercise wouldn't hurt either. I am just so unmotivated and so tired. I know i would feel better. I know i would be healthier. . . but i just hate it!

I got my haircut last night and that was wonderful. I got to talk to an adult for an hour without any interruptions. I was actually struggling to stay awake. . . it was so relaxing.

This post is kind of pointless.
Bye

A Much Needed Walk

Most days i love my job, yesterday that was not the case. Most days i am so happy with the decision we made for me to stay home. I cherish the little moments. Yesterday, i felt like it was a day of crying, frustration, and sleepy fogginess.

Thank goodness for our family walk. The sunshine, fresh air, my husband and my daughter made for a wonderful walk. I loved looking down at jaely and seeing her motorcycle hands going wild with excitement and her legs stiff as she twirled her feet around and around. She sucked on her little people table the whole time as she looked from side to side. TJ and i got to peek in a house that is for sale. I love looking at houses.

We passed a house that we love that has been for sale for awhile. It is the same builder as ours, but a little bigger. It has a heated pull barn (perfect for a woodshop), finished basement, and beautiful landscaping. When we passed it we noticed hoses coming from the basement window, and carpet in heaps on the yard next to the windows. Obviously they had some real water problems in their finished basement. Then we heard two neighbors talking to each other about their wet basements. I guess it is a problem for a lot of people around here. It is supposed to rain tomorrow. . . .

I am thankful that we got to enjoy a wonderful walk.

Rain, Rain Go Away

We have lived in our house for five years. Before we moved in we had some concern about some water marks we had on the basement floor. The builder said that it is from when they back filled in the spring and that some ice had been trapped. . . or something like that.

Yesterday, i went downstairs to put something away and there it was. . . water- not a ton, but enough to make you nervous. I had to wake TJ up from a nap. Yikes.

We haven't ever had this much rain with frozen ground. There really is no where for the water to go. We have a lake between our house and the neighbor's house on the north side of our house (ya, you should be impressed with my directional description).

Nothing was ruined. . . we have almost everything in plastic containers. But i hate water. I know it can easily lead to mildew, mold and stink. Jaely's rocking ass (her Eeyore that is like a rocking horse) was alright, but the box he came in was gross, so he is naked and unprotected at the moment. . . but it might almost be time to give jealy her rocking ass anyways.

Thank goodness it did not touch the hunk of cherry that TJ miraculously turned into a beautiful front for Jaely's window seat. I immediately got it up off the floor.

The water is in the northeast corner of the basement. It crept along both walls, but never got to anywhere near where the side we are hoping to one day finish. It does bring up some concern about that though too.

TJ was furious.
We took pictures so we could e-mail the builder.
We should have e-mailed him when our emotions were raw.

Hobbies

I have many hobbies- some would say too many. I love to read, knit, cross stitch, ribbon embroidery, scrapbook, sew, stamping, card making, and gardening. All of these things take up space, need a lot of supplies and take time.

My newest hobby is cake decorating. I was drawn to it when i started thinking about Jaely's first birthday party. My mom always made our cakes- different shapes and characters. I thought it would be something i would enjoy. Her party is going to be flower theme (since i am anxious for spring to come and the flowers to come up). When i saw a cute flower shaped pan, i thought i would give cake decorating a try. I really enjoyed it. I made a mess in the kitchen, but is was rather relaxing and fun.

Here is the practice cake. I definitely need to put more frosting on the sides, but other than that i am happy with how it looks. I also am going to make the pink brighter. The most time consuming part was making and coloring the frosting.

After tasting the cake, i was rather disappointed. Just kind of tasteless. The frosting was good, but i think the actual cake mix i used was kind of blah. I am trying not to compare it to a texas sheet cake (my favorite). . . maybe i should have just planned to make texas sheet cake. . . but there is no going back now.

Now. . . to clean up the MESS!

Not a good start

All before 8:00 am i watched the cat throw up and had to clean it up, got a horrendous kink in my neck and shoulder, cleaned a nasty pot that "soaked" overnight, burned my finger, and burned my english muffin.

It can only get better from here.

Happy Saturday!

Gloria

I have been humming this song for awhile and stumbled upon this video. It is of the highest quality of singing, dancing, and special effects. I love her dance moves.

Mom

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.
Erich FrommI am trying not to relive the day that occurred six years ago. . . there is no reason to, but sometimes it just seeps into my mind. Instead i am trying to think of all the good memories that i have of my mom. Most of the time these memories make me smile and feel blessed, but today they almost make me feel more sad.

It is harder this year than last year. I am thinking of all these memories of my mom and then i look over at jaely and it just breaks my heart- for so many reasons.

I'll get through today. i always do.

Lovin' Traverse

The bug and i are having a great time in Traverse City. She is sleeping in the bathroom with her noise maker and actually sleeping real well (except she got up early). Today i realized that getting her to stay on the safe, germ free blanket that i put down on the floor would be nearly impossible. She can only play in her Pack N Play for so long. So we loaded up and went out. The only thing open that early is kohl's. Luckily kohl's had just marked down a bunch of jaely clothes earlier this morning. 70% off! I loaded up for the upcoming sizes. Then we came back and i put her down for nap. It is so nice to be so close to all the shopping because i can bop in and out of the hotel when i need to. She fell right asleep. Then we went back out. She was a little fussy. Came back and Jaely and tj took a nap. Then we all went swimming before heading out to meet some people for dinner.

We ate at Red Ginger. Yum! The best kung pao ever! Jaely is back in the bathroom- i am praying for another good night. Tomorrow- i think more shopping. I have to check out of the hotel before TJ is done with meetings, so it may be a little tricky, but nothing i cannot handle. Life with a baby at a hotel is sure different. . . changing her on the bed or the table, rinsing dishes, feeding her without a high chair. I am so glad we were able to get a handicap room so we can wheel her Pack N Play in and out of the bathroom. When she gets home i am sure she is going to scoot all over the place!

I kind of feel like i am on vacation. Even though i am exhausted from towing around a ten month old all day, when she is napping i CAN'T empty the dishwasher, get dinner ready, clean, or do laundry. My options are to sleep, watch TV or get on my computer. Nice. . . almost carefree!

Mother's love is bliss, is peace, it need not be acquired, it need not be deserved
- Erich Fromm

Day one, day one
Start over again.
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense.
For now i'm faking it
'til i'm pseudo making it
From scratch, begin again
- Alanis Moressette

TJ

Thirty years ago, gail was in the hospital having just given birth to Thomas James. Today is TJ's 30th birthday. We went into grand haven where we ate at Panera bread and went to a place that sells microbrews. We also checked out circuit city (again) and target. Tonight we are having a nice dinner after jaely goes to bed.

I am looking forward to celebrating the next thirty years of his life. What a truly amazing person. . .

Teamwork

TJ is in traverse city. When he is away i cannot help but be reminded of what a wonderful team we make. I have really noticed it in the last 10 months as we care for our little one, but i knew of it even as we were dating. We each give our 100 percent to our marriage and then when 100 percent isn't enough the other person's 100 percent covers it. TJ has never been one to think that woman have certain jobs and that men have certain jobs. If anything, i have been more like that. . . just assuming he would mow the grass and shovel. But he has never assumed that i would vacuum or cook, iron or do laundry. We just do what needs to be done.

When it comes to jaely the same is true, although we did kind of divy up "the jobs". He has night duty, which means he gives her the last bottle, and puts her to bed. He is then up if she is up until about 11, when he goes to bed. He cherishes putting her to bed, and at times she makes it difficult on him.

Sometimes i feel like the "default parent." But i am the one who is with her all day. I am going to miss that so very much next year. I have come to the point where i really cannot think about it. I am definitely going back to work. TJ is either staying home all day or going half time. We are trying to make a decision by the end of this month. Yikes!

So today, since i was missing my teammate, i decided to make the best of it. I got up, played with jaely, gave her a bath and then put her down for a nap. At that time, i showered did my hair and make-up and got dressed (this is extremely rare). We went to grand haven to go shopping for TJ's birthday gift. Then we came home. I fed her, played with her and put her down for a nap. Then it was off to the Bean's for a time to hang out and catch up with other couples/families. We got back late. It was up to me to put jaely to bed. As i am making her bottle, she is looking at me like "my papa is supposed to be doing this. . . what are you doing?" I am exhausted- one person carries jaely, while the other gets the diaper bag- when we are at a friend's house one person holds jaely while the other one gets their shoes on- if we get home late, one person gets her undressed while ther other person makes the bottle- one person gets her bath ready while the other person gets her ready- one person puts the carseat and diaper bag away while the other person changes her diaper- one person washes out the bottle while the other person reads her a story- one person gets her into the carseat while the other person starts the car- one person puts her left shoe on and one person puts her right shoe on. . . . i could go on and on. Of course, some of this is different if it is during the day on a weekday, but knowing i have down time at the end of the day makes it all pssible.

He was missed in a lot of little ways this evening and as i try to fall asleep, he will be missed in a big way.

I wanna be like mommy!

I got this on e-mail the other day. I think it is from a third grader's homework. Apparently she is not a pole dancer. Her mom actually works at home depot and she is holding a shovel. I love kids!

Almost Free

After shoveling last night and today, my car is almost free. It barely made it into the driveway last night as we got home from being out of town. I am glad that it at least made it off of the road. Of course, this morning the plow came by and flung even more snow at the bottom of our driveway. I am sure TJ can think of better ways to spend a day off from school. Then again, i don't know what we would have done if he had school today.

So tired.

TJ and i are so tired. We just got back from the other side of the state. And although it was great to see family and attend a wedding reception, it was tiring. I think it felt extra tiring this time because jaely did not sleep one night. TJ or i were up with her from 1-5 and then gail stayed up with her until 8. She slept for some of the time, but never in the pack 'n play. She normally is an easy goeing travleler, so i don't think it was that. But whatever the reason, we are tired. Last night was a bit better, but she still required some awake time from TJ and i. She woke up every 45 minutes from 12- 3 for TJ and then i was up with her for an hour at 3:30. I just don't get what is going on. What happened to our great sleeper. Her naps are even bad lately. I think i feel a bump on her bottom gum, but how much blame can one put on cutting teeth?

I am so glad TJ has tomorrow off. He shoveled a ton when we got home, but there is still a lot of snow to move before my car can come any further up the driveway. We had to unpack the car from the bottom of our driveway because the car completely stopped in snow up to our knees upon our arrival.

I have a headach. I am going to take something and relax on the couch. TJ is sleeping. . . exhausted. I am praying that jaely stays asleep. Neither one of us has it in us.

Garage

I cannot believe how parking in the garage makes many things in my life more pleasant- especially grocery shopping. Normally i grocery shop at night, after jaely has gone to bed, but yesterday i wanted to take her with me for a different experience. She was real good, sitting in the cart playing with her toys and smiling at anyone who glanced her way. Before we left i was able to warm up the car, put the diaper bag, our blue reusable meijer bags, and the coupons in the car. I didn't have to clear my car off or take my shoes off once i was back inside because they were not wet. When we got back home, i could do multiple trips without having to wipe my feet dry or track snow through the house. i put jaely down for a nap and then continued to unload groceries from the car. Today after getting back from an outing, i took my shoes off and put jaely down for a nap and then realized i had left something in the car. . . so i went back to get it in my socks. Ahhh, the joy of parking in a garage.

Thanks again TJ. You don't know what it means to me and how much easier it makes life.

A Day on the Couch

I got it. I thought i wasn't going to, but on Wednesday at 11:50 at night all the contents of my stomach came out. And then later my stomach tried to rid itself again of nothing. I was up all night with a bad fever and a queasy stomach. I didn't know how i was going to take care of Jaely the next day. But we made it. TJ got off of jury duty at 11, so he was home for most of the day.

Today i have been on the couch almost all day. Or in bed. Sleeping. When i am sleeping, nothing is waking me up, not even jaely crying and her crying ALWAYS wakes me up. TJ stayed home today to take care of her so i can take care of myself and get over this stomach virus. Jaely has had a full recovery, after three days in jammies and no solids. We are praying that TJ doesn't get sick.

Yuck.

Ice

I am not a big fan of ice in my fountain drinks, but i love it when it covers roads and makes it so TJ has to stay home from school (although he didn't turn on the tv or listen to our answering machine, so he got ready for school and drove all the way there before he realized he had an ice day). Silly man. Happy day.

Complex Querkiness

I know what i am attempting to write won't come out how i want it to, but i am going to try with hope. Today while TJ and i were sitting on the floor playing with and observing Jaely, i was so overcome with the workmanship of God. I have always been impressed with His work when looking at nature and at babies, but when looking at my baby it impacted me more. I knew that all kids are as amazing as jaely, but i didn't really understand it until tonight. All kids have little mannerism and querks that only parents may notice. All babies have tiny observable developments that occur almost daily that are amazing to witness. All of my friends' children are just as amazing and full of the most miraculous mannerisms as Jaely's- i am just not close enough to observe many of them

I love our jaelynne. I love her tiny sighs, her many facial expressions, her wiggly hands, her rotating feet, her ever changing sounds, her thickening hair, her mighty index finger, her thick eye lashes, her curiosity, her shrieks of excitement, her demanding grunts, her rediness to experiment with new food textures. . .

Every child has these tiny things (for lack of a better word) that make them who they are. I hope that i remember these little things about jaely. . . these little tiny things that make her so very special and unique. God made her that way. He not only gave her beautiful brown eyes but also the desire and ability to turn the pages of books as we read them to her. He knitted together her two feet but He also gave her the querkiness of moving them in circles when she gets excited.

* * * * *

When i dated TJ for a while (six years) and during our marriage (7 years) i realized this same thing about people, only i don't think it was as clear. He made me realize that God really does create people so uniquely, whether it is part of their genetic make-up, their enviornment during development, or their own personality. God made them that way by giving them the genes, the environment and their personality. Besides my family (and i don't think it is to the same extent), TJ is the first person that i have had the pleasure of knowing all the tiny mannerisms, the little things that make him him. I love those little things. It is things that only i know. It is the things that make him so special. . . but my point is is that everyone has those little things. I am just so blessed that God chose me to experience TJ and Jaely's eensy-weensy mannerisms and querks that make them who they are.

The workmanship of God is in everyone. . . every single person -in every country- in every city- of every religion- of every socio-economic status- of every sexual orientation -of every ethnicity. . .

When i think of this it changes me. George Bush has these little mannerisms and querks that only a few people in his life know about. . . that God made. That makes him more of a human to me.

I have an actual picture of Saddam Hussien being captured by a soldier. A freind of mine worked at a photo lab at walmart and got it. . . made copies and gave me one. It is an eery picture. It has always bothered me- seeing the look on his face, the dirt and tattered clothes. It made him human. It reminded me that he has little querks and mannerisms that God created in him. The workmanship of God is in him.

The same is true with everyone that doesn't seem human at times- prostitues, addicts, celebrities, ultra conservatives, etc.

Well, like i said this did not come out the way i wanted it to. I am really ,really sleep deprived and should probably go do something about that.
Good night.
I cannot wait to see what jaely querks i discover tomorrow!

It is going to be a good year!

I didn't park in the garage once last year. And already this year. . .It is good to be back!

2009

I can't think of a better way to bring in the new year than to be with a group of friends that i haven't seen in awhile. Yesterday Ang twisted my arm (okay, she didn't have to twist that hard) to come over that night for a new years get together. . . with jaely. Since we got the invitation a few weeks ago, i couldn't figure out what to do with Jaelynne. We couldn't get a sitter, so we were just going to hang out at home. But she reminded us that she has a crib, pack n play, monitor, white noise, and people that really wanted to see us and jaely. She was very convincing. And Jaely was very flexible. She didn't go to sleep until 9:30 (two and a half hours past her bedtime) and when she woke up and started crying it was 11:50, so we just kept her up and brought in the new year kissing our daughter.

We attempted to blow up the corbn's house as we lit something on fire that had a skull and crossbones. We dipped banana in chocolate and ate salamie in the shape of a flower. We played mafia. I was killed immediatly in the first round and was just a townsperson for all the rounds. And we visited with each other. I miss those people. TJ was glad too that he chose not be a hermit for he was told of a game called lux that will now make him more of a hermit (thanks to Rob).

Thanks ang and ryan for having us over and thank you ang for presenting a good arguement for why we should come with jaely. She slept well the rest of the night.

I hope we have a white christmas!!

TJ is making Mahogany Beef Stew in a red wine and hoisin sauce and mashed potatoes with horseradish . . . one of my favorites. We are enjoying our family's Christmas today. . . the three of us this year. We will open stockings and rip open our presents for each other. Jaely will then go to bed and TJ and i will enjoy our delicious dinner together as the snow continues to fall. I wish i could say that we would then snuggle up and relax to a good movie, but that is not the case. TJ needs to shovel the driveway so we can leave in the morning and i need to pack for myslef and a baby for a five day adventure. We both have a ton to do before we can leave here in the morning. It will all get done, but there isn't really anything relaxing about it. I will relax during dinner, though, that is for sure.

This is our back deck. . . this is not a drift, it is the actual amount of snow we have. . . good ol' lake effect. Almost reaches the top of the railing!


Last year at this time i was pregnant and we had a tree sitting on both of our cars. This year sure is different!

Lindsey Got a Snow Day Too!

At first i was kind of bummed that this day was turning out to be just like any other day that TJ has to work, but it turned out to be a little different and by evening it was very different. Normally i make dinner and clean up so that TJ can have some jaely time or take a nap or do whatever. Tonight we had breakfast for dinner. We ate egg, sausage/bacon, cheese biscuit sandwich things with hashbrowns. TJ helped me make it, but the best part was that after putting jaely to bed he cleaned up. He didn't just tidy up until it looked decent to him, he looked at and cleaned the kitchen through Lindsey eyes. He said i should go downstairs and scrapbook (something i have been wanting to do for a long time). So i did for an hour and when i came up the kitchen was sparkling. Spattered bacon grease was cleaned up, the garbage was emptied and a new bag was in the trash can, the dishwasher was running, and the counters were spotless. What an awesome end to a wonderful snow day. Thanks TJ. . . you sure know how to make your girl smile!

Tomorrow we have a day outing prepared. . . shopping in holland, Grand Haven or Grand Rapids. Sunday we are going to church (finally), buying cookie ingrdiants, and going to a dinner party. Monday we are making a TON of cookies, and Tuesday we are celebrating our family Chirstmas at our house before we head to gail's on wednesday. We have some busy days coming up. . . they definetly won't feel like normal days, which is totally what i need right now.

TJ is our shoveling again so we can get out of the driveway tomorrow. Poor guy.

Curves in Colon Closed

Apparently in the town of Colon there is a Curves that is closed today, but every time i see that message run across the bottom of the TV screen, i can't help but giggle. I didn't know my colon had curves. . . is it supposed to?

Anyway, great delight is abound in our home. TJ has a snow day, and although i am not teaching, i feel like i have a snow day too. I have an extra day to spend with my hubby, i have two extra hands to help and to play with jaely, and i have a husband who is not so sleep deprived. Life is good.

There is a lot of snow. Police are asking that we stay inside as some roads are currently "impassible." TJ is shoveling the driveway. . . ya, every season has something he must attend to that is making it difficult to work on the built-in. Someday. Did i mention that we have a john deere snowblower in our garage? Let's not talk about it. . .

We looked at our cookie recipes to see what we need to purchase at the store. Christmas is less than a week away and my excitement is growing.

It is becoming evident that TJ and i need to find ourselves a babysitter. It hasn't been such a big deal, but lately we have had to pass up some opportunities for some outings with adults because of it. Some girls from work offered if TJ and i just want to get a bite to eat, but i am afraid we need more than just that and if it is a work function- like our Christmas party- that won't work. As of now, gail has been more than gracious to watch jaely so that TJ and i can get out together, but she is also on the other side of the stae. We have a dinner this Sunday at 6:30. TJ is still unsure if kids are going to be there. He is going to find out, but with a time of 6:30 i am not so sure. At my staff party, i had to go alone so TJ could stay home with the bug. We got invited to a new year's eve party which we would love to go to, but what do we do with the bug?

Jaelynne's naps have been almost nonexsistan. . . well, i shouldn't say that. She is taking them, but it is taking her FOREVER to fall asleep. She is practicing all her new moves in her crib. I am sometimes tempted to pull her out and start all over again a little later, but i don't want to get into the habit of getting her out of her crib. Yesterday, i think she spent most of her waking hours in her crib. . . that is a sad exsistance for a baby who is learning to do things and is so curious about her world around her. I am currently listening to her cry/play over the monitor. When i go silently into her room to pick her binky up off the floor she is up on her arms rocking back and forth and giggling at me. Arrg.

Crazy

When we returned home yesterday evening, it was 40 degrees. When i woke up this morning, it was 15 degrees. Yikes! All night i listened to the wind howling and slapping the rain, sleet, snow stuff against the windows. I prayed for safety for my family as i thought of the trees moving forcefully from side to side and the rain freezing on their branches making them very brittle.

There was no damage of which i am aware. But it is so ugly outside. I opened jaely's blinds like i do every morning as i say in a too cheery voice "good morning sunshine." There was none to be had. In fact i think by opening the blinds i actually made her room darker. The trees are back to being black, instead of having every branch traced in white. The snow on the ground is a dull wet gray color and the driveway. . . well, lets not talk about the driveway. We barely made it in last night and i don't think things improved during our sleep, so i think i will be staying in today. There is a fresh layer of snow falling gently as i write this, so maybe things will brighten up.

My day is about to brighten up becuase i just finished my cereal, so now it is time to take jaely out of the exersauce and let her scoot all over the living room and kitchen! Bye,

We didn't go to church this morning for the third sunday in a row. We had plans in the afternoon and i really wanted jaely to get at least one good nap. Maybe next week?

My dad drove down and got here around noon. We hung out for a while before heading down together for G.R . to meet aunt carol, uncle mike, and jered for his birthday dinner. It was excellent to see everyone. . . and i get to see them again in just a couple of weeks plus jason and Whitney. Exciting!

Right now Jaelynne is crying in her crib. She napped on the way home from GR and i think it kind of messed up her schedule, but that is all right. It is not like we do it all the time. The girl needs to be flexible and she needs to see her family and she needs to see other people other than her dad and her mom.

TJ is working away on school stuff. One more week until christmas break. Hooray!!

I am still so full from dinner. . .

I am not sure why i wrote this post, but oh well, here it is.

Just like mom's

I made my very first pot roast ever yesterday (yes, in spite of my horrible day). It tasted so good. It tasted just like my mom's did. The potatoes were just a little different-not as mashable. So delicious. Tonight i am making one of her recipes, chicken divan.

Jaely is going on a 2 1/2 hour nap. I balanced the checkbook, paid bills, did dishes, pureed food for jaely, read a chapter of Sex God, watched a recorded episode of Sex and the City, cleaned the kitchen counters, took a shower :), and now i am blogging. She will be such a happy baby when she wakes up. She needed this nap. This morning, she woke up way early and wouldn't go back to sleep, then only took a 45 minute nap.

i know when she wakes up she will have that crusty goodness around her mouth in the shape of her binky. And she will have an imprint of the lap pad seam going across her cheek on to her forehead. I love our girl.

Today is my oldest brother's birthday. I remember when he held my hair back for me when i was throwing up, and when he cradled me after i fell into the corner of the coffee table, and when he changed my tire in GR after i got a flat, and when he gave me a "Happy Batmistva" card for my birthday, and when he gave me two of my mom's favorite recipes framed, and when he made a toast at Jason's wedding stating that he finally has a sister he can be proud of (referring to his new sister-in-law), and when he was the grill master (who burned himself) at the rib cook off at my bridal shower, and how he let me have friends downstairs for a roller skating party if i gave him a 2 liter of the pop i had purchased for the event, and when his car rolled down the driveway on echo- across the street and landing in the bushes inches from a brick house, i remember picking him up and driving across the state after hearing that our mom had passed away, i remember him making me my first chai latte at the restaurant he worked at the day before i got married in an effort to calm me, i remember my mom and i eating at the restaurant and being one of his first costomers (watching a lefty try to fill out an order form in air can be painful), i remember him and my mom cooking in the kitchen together, i remember the constant digging sound of legos, i remember after telling him to "shut up" his calm response of "but i am not the one being loud, lindsey", i remember driving him to the hospital because he was in such pain he could hardly sit, i remember when he came in the house and told my mom that he had lost a contact lense in the snow, i remember going to watch him act in plays and improve. . .

Wow, i could go on and on. Happy Birthday Jered! You are loved.

Frustrating.

We are going on the second winter now where i have not been able to park in the garage. It is strange because from age 15 (when i started to drive) to 25 i never had a garage. I didn't know what i was missing, but now that i do, i am spoiled by one. In spite of what some of the men in my family believe, a garage is for parking cars.

I didn't venture out yesterday because of the heavy snow that was falling from the sky, but i just had to get out today. I put jaely in her exesaucer and attempted to clear my car off. We have about 20 inches of snow. I did decide to wear my big boots out there, but it didn't matter. My jeans were soaked. The arms of my white sweatshirt were wet and blackened by the dirt on my car. As i leaned over my hood to get to the middle of my windshield, by stomach and chest also became covered in snow and dirt. I was out there for a good 10 minutes. There was ice under the snow. I bundled jaely up, put on normal shoes (i can't shop in heavy snow boots) and went out to the car. I try to follow my same footprints, but you know that doesn't really work. I am in snow almost up to my knee. My whole shopping experience was cold, due to wet, cold feet.

On my way home, jaely is crying because she didn't (couldn't) nap. I am on M120 where it is five lanes wide and i step on the brakes to slow down for an upcoming red light. All of a sudden the whole layer of ice and snow that was on my roof slides down and lands on my windshield. It is too heavy for my wipers. I cannot see a thing. People are hoking, Jaely is crying, and i am panicking. it takes me a few seconds to figure out where my window switch is (it is in the middle of the counsel). I roll it down, take my arm and try to remove some of the snow so that my wipers can work. The snow lands in my car, on my lap, all over my dashboard, hand and arm. Now both jaely and i are crying. Huge clumps of snow are literally sitting on my lap. At least i didn't get in an accident.

When we get home, i take her inside. I take my shoes off so i don't track wet snow all through the house. I get my wet jeans off and put Jaely down for a nap. I don't dare go back out to my car to get my things. I am not in the mood to get wet feet and legs all over again.

I want the garage back.

I know TJ is very busy. . . I am not blaming him. I just want the garage back.

It just keeps falling

The snow won't stop and although it is absolutely beautiful to watch, i know it means a lot of work for TJ. He has already spent a morning shoveling and i am afraid there is much more to shovel. It has also kept me inside all day. I had plans of going out today, but thinking of bundling jaely up, pushing the stroller through slush, and clearing off my car has changed my plans. Instead, i made jaely some more food (peaches and mango), made chili for dinner tonight, and finished up laundry. Perfect things to do on a chilly day.

Jaely was so much fun today. She finally got enough sleep, so she wasn't whiny. She was giggly and curiously exploring the living room. She is scooting around pretty well now. . . almost an army crawl, but not quite.

Christmas shopping is almost finished. I have one more gift to buy and then stuff for TJ's stocking. The tree is up. I do need to get the outdoor lights hung and the reindeer put up, but other than that we are set. I love having the Christmastree lit up in the evening. I catch myself just staring at it.

I need to make more loopies, so i better get going before jaely's nap is over.

Facebook

Well, some of my friends have vanished from blogger land and rely solely on facebook to satisfy their needs. So. . . i had to join facebook. I will DEFINITELY continue to blog. I like to blog and actually write. While facebook is good for making connections, that seems about it. . . although i realize i do not know all that it is capable of doing. I do know that i do not like the "Lindsey is. . . "

We are at gail's house. TJ is at a conference in Dearborn. I am glad that Jaely gets to see her relatives.


Lindsey is off to take a shower while jaely is napping.

Awake

I am still awake and going strong. TJ is in TC and i decided to get all the Christmas stuff up. I just finished with the tree. The only thing i have left are the porch lights and norbert the Reindeer. I don't remember how damaged he was from the tree falling last year. It seems to me TJ was able to bend him back.

I think i did alright with the going to bed routine. Jaely is tucked soundly into her crib and i haven't heard a peep. I realize that could change at any moment, but i am glad she has slept well thus far.

Right now, i am eating some of my husband's ice cream- ben and jerry's phish food. Yum, marshmellow gooey goodness.

I am so excited to read some of my Christmas picture books to jaely and to myself. I do love this time of year.

I decorated my little tree that i normally put in my classroom. It is going to go in Jaelynne's room. It is snowflake theme. I took most of the snowflake ornaments and garland that my mom got me and put them on the little tree. It's pretty cute. And a little way to bring my mom into jaely's christmas.

I should probably start winding down. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.

Good night.

It is December

Good bye November. Hello bright and sparkly December. We woke up to a winter wonderland today. The kind where the snow sticks to one side of the tree trunks and makes its way up to stick to every possible branch, the contrast with the bright white and deep brown is stunning. The light pours in through the windows. No lights will be needed until the sun sets.

We got back into town on Saturday and spent sunday recuperating, unpacking, shopping, working and decorating. I put my village up while TJ worked on school stuff and while jaely slept. I love putting up the village. Last night, however, i was exhausted by the time i finished. It isn't quite how i want it, but it works for right now. Jaely couldn't take her eyes off of it this morning.

Today, i will start to put up the christmas stuff.

Jaely's canvas is done as well, so i have to go pick that up. . . in the winter wonderland. The photographer said it is so beautiful that she hung it in her studio. I ordered the rest of the prints yesterday.

TJ leaves for TC early tomorrow morning. He will get back Wednesday night, pick me and jaely up and we will head to gail's because TJ has a conference in Dearborn on Thursday and Friday. Crazy week. I guess i don't have to worry about cooking dinner for us this week.