And Let the Deadheading Begin!

Okay- so today in the beautiful sunshine i walked around a took random pictures of things blooming and happenings in our yard. I neglected to take a picture of the sprung mole trap because i was so excited that tj finally got a mole. . . i later found out that while TJ was doing his nightly rounds (checking the pumps and tubing for leaks and cloggage) he tripped it. Ha! oops.

We got our hanging baskets last weekend. We normally get other plants to fill about 8 big pots, but we had other things to spend money on. . . like pump rentals, and a sump pump, and a new dehumidifier, a new shop vac (our old one broke), etc. Anyway. . . i am digging the flowers- they are so nice when you drive up or when you look out our windows. They make me smile and there will be a lot less upkeep now that we don't have all the pots to take care of too. Deheading, here i come!
When i was at meijer, this cute little baccopa nad geranium arrangement was on clearance. . . 50% off!We got our poop (and maybe even some of yours) pumped out of our septic. . .what a fun thing to spend money on!

Bleeding heart in the shade garden
The day lilies along the garage.
Things are drying out so much that i had to water the top two gardens! But notice all the tubing pumping water from Lake Ellis.
The flowing phlox falls over the edge of the fabulous field stone
oh, what a wee little gnome have we. . .
Chicks & Hens or is it Hens & Chicks. . . .they might be my all time favorite plant. I remember them in my mom's garden- planted in a stump from a tree that we got chopped down. . .
Last year with birthday money from TJ's grandma, i got a clematis vine. This year i got a new trellis for it. I cannot wait until it blooms. :)
The peony bud. Another favorite that i enjoyed in my mom's garden when i was younger. I remember watching the ants crawl all over the buds. . . i guess that is what they do. My friend at work got this peony for me when she was an aid for a student in my room.
My cool glass ball that i got from my hubby. This is not its permanant home, but i needed to get it out of the basement for obvious reasons.
Creeping jenny- you can step on her and she doesn't mind. She is making her way around our homemade stepping stone that says "Sit & Relax"
Our "life is good" stepping stones. . . because life is good.

Just when i thought it couldn't get any worse. . .

We woke up this morning after a night of bad storms to find 8 inches of water in our basement. . . again. And then i found out i am teaching first grade next year. I have absolutely no experience with the little ones that need their shoes tied, actual reading instruction, and are cranky because it is the first time they are at school for a full day.

Our backyard is like a lake. . . i had to take these from our deck because i was keeping my eye on jaely. . . just to put it in perspective, tj was up to his knees in water when he was on our patio. The deck shoots out and overlooks the lake on every three sides.

Thanks Jaelynne!

Look what Jaely got me- a purple punch Vera Bradley hipster!! Now i can have my hands free when we are out and about. Thanks sweetie!I LOVE being your mom.

Happy Mother's Day!!

To celebrate this day, i am posting some pictures from one of my favorite websites, Cake Wrecks. Enjoy!

Not the Best

Today was not a great day as a mom or as a homeowner. I struggled with both today. . . maybe because i was trying to juggle both or maybe because i am in a reflective mood about how i am as a mother. I definitely don't need words that say how great a mom i am or how lucky jaely is to have me or blah, blah, blah. I don't need those because i know those. Those seem so shallow right now to me.

I struggled today because my personality is to take care of something quickly. For example, i don't see the need to put dishes by the sink or in the sink when they are dirty. . . just put them right into the dishwasher. When the leaves fall, rake. When the trash is full, take it out. When the dust forms on top of the wood, dust it. So, when your garage is full of wet, nasty valuables, clothes, decorations, books, etc. . . take care of them. Clean it up. Clean it out. Dry things out. Gets some air to things.

I can't do that with a one year old. I just can't. I can hardly get to the things that need to be done daily, let alone a minor disaster, like a flood. In the end, jaely gets the raw end of the deal- a mom who is too tired to talk or play and who is trying to get things done while jaely talks and plays by herself. Then, because i am tired, i don't have a lot of patience for things like opening cupboards and touching cords, etc. So i think she is being a little stink bug, when in reality it is my patience that stinks.

But that isn't even it. What is bothering me even more is the realization that i am who she spends most of her day with. This is going to be a hard one to explain. I think it is best explained by first giving an example. A few months ago, i had been trying to get jaely to clap. I would hold each of her hands and clap her hands together. it really wasn't working and i was fine that she wasn't clapping yet. I brought jaely to school one day and a dear teacher who has older kids of her own and a grandchild sat down with jaely and had jaely grab each of her hands and then she clapped her hands together, thus having jaely clap her hands too. I made the remark that i have never thought to teach jaely like that. She said it comes with experience. Another example might be when gail whispered in Jaely's ear for the first time when she was so young. Jaely loves it. I have never thought of doing that. My neighbor's kid is learning to trace his hand, not with any help of his mom, but because of his daycare person. My neighbor never thought to have him try that. My dad was the first one to try to stand jaely up on her legs on his table. I didn't think to do that. Instead of having high expectations for her to do things, i think i sell her short and then don't do things with her that i am supposed to.

I guess what i am saying is that i don't have expereince. Sometimes i feel bad that all jaely gets is me. That's it. . . me. Sometimes i think i would welcome an *excellent* daycare person for jaely. I definitely welcome grandparents to live closer. I love to see TJ spend time with jaely in the evenings because he does things differently with her. I watch to see what he does because a lot of times i have never thought of doing that.

I am not sure how jaely and i spend our days! Recently i have been so excited about the fine motor skills she has been getting- putting things in things, trying to put things together. I know that she definitely isn't in bad shape for having me with her for the majority of the day, but i am not sure if she is truly benifiting from it. I don't know what i am doing! I am new at this.

Today was a struggle. Poor TJ has spent his days pumping water, getting gas for the pump, moving the pump, vacuuming up water in the basement. . . which means i am stuck inside with jaely, just like any other day. . . possibly worse because he is working later than normal taking care of all this stuff. I needed a break desperatly. I am having a hard time being honest, for fear that i may sound like a bad mom, but i needed a break. I just needed someone else to think about what jaely is going to eat, or what we can play with next, etc. I needed a break from my routine. I needed it to feel like a saturday.

I still feel like i can't explain things adequetly. . . but i tried my best and i do feel better writing about it.

I am blessed.
I am loved.
I am a mother (something i have wanted for a long time)
We are healthy.
Things are good. . . they really are. :)

Basement Blues

This morning, i went downstairs to check out the situation. We had water down there, but there were still dry patches of floor. I made sure the pump was working outside. TJ has been pumping water out to a little ditch from our backyard. The patio was under water and now the top was above water, thanks to the pumping. The water was finally going away. . .


Then it RAINED. . . hard.


I went to GR. I couldn't sit around and listen to it rain and worry all day. There was nothing i could do any way. Last night we were up late moving things that we didn't want to get wrecked either up higher or out in the garage. We have a ton of plastic tube, so a lot of our stuff we stacked on those.

We fed jaely, gave her a bath and were getting her ready for bed, when i heard something fall in the basement. TJ went down there to discover our tubs floating. Since they were floating, the stuff we stacked on them had fallen into the seven inches of water.

These pictures are after we moved many things up to our garage (thankfully TJ cleaned that out last weekend)


The water has moved past the bottom of our furnace, so that is currently off. We called Serve-pro and they said there is nothing we or they can do until the water on the outside is nearly gone. We have to wait/ wade it out. It is hard to sit upstaits, knowing that right below you is gallons of water. . . moving up your insulation, up your drywall, up the carpet on the stairs, up the couch and recliner, up the desk TJ made and his wooden 75 gallon fish tank stand. . . This is slider downstairs. The water is past the bottom.


Both our neighbor's and our property are surrounded by big and little bodies of water that after today's rain have all connected to eachother. The water covers our patio and the first layer of our garden. We have lived her almost 6 years and we have not had anything come close to this. This is absolutely CRAZY!

TJ's sexy legs in our basement






I know, a lovely picture- you can't tell that i am frowning. . . these are my cheeky chimp shorts. Pants just don't work in a situation like this. . . nor do shoes. The water is cold, and dirty, and i am confident i will get some kind of funky foot fungus or later find a grub between my toes. I do wonder if the moles drownd in the water. That would be one good thing. . . i guess. I am glad that jaely is a really good sleeper.

If we can't stay warm. . . Jaely and i are going to hang out at my sister-in-law's house. I think we will be alright.

We need sunshine and a strong warm breeze. TJ is taking tomorrow off and renting a "big ass pump" that will suck the same amount of water in a minute that our current pump takes an hour to pump. I LOVE spending money on fun things like this.

Out in the Garden

While Jaelynne was napping, i got some work done. I weeded a little (i know, i cannot believe i am having to weed already) and i got a lot of leaves out of the rock garden. While working, the sweet aroma of hyacinths filled my nostrils. . . much better than the smell from dirty diapers sitting in a closed up room for two weeks in a warm house (that happened to my mother-in-law today!)

Today, while working, i discovered new neighbors that moved in right behind our house at the edge of our lawn. . . .you have to look closely at the picture
Do you see it. . . the tiny door at the foot of the tree. . . hmm. How exciting!

Spectacular House

We went to look at this house today during an open house. I loved how much character is has as a lumber era house. . . the woodwork and built-ins were so neat. It would take a lot to maintain all the wood, inside and out and i think the kitchen could stand a bit of remodeling. Also, it would be hard to have all the bedrooms up stairs share one bathroom. . . but the character of the house is amazing. . . clawfoot cast iron bathtub, wooden crown molding, huge mahogany pocket doors, solid wood doors with original hardware, window seats, gigantic covered porch, two wooden staircases (three levels), and leaded windows. Amazing.

A friday afternoon nap

During Jaely's afternoon nap, i decided to get to work outside. I raked the shade garden and then walked around to see how things were doing. From afar the back garden looks rather lifeless and uneventful. . .. but exciting things are taking place. One just has to look closely, appreciate the little things, and imagine the beauty it will be in a month or two!!

From afar. . .

Up close-

Garden phlox is coming!

One of the many hyacinths. . .So fragrant.

Peony- i love how it emerges reddish from the ground

Creeping Phlox- it is an evergreen, but i still appreciate seeing it after all the snow melts and soon it will be a carpet of pinks and purples

Hens and Chicks- a personal favorite. They almost look like they belong on another planet.

Sedum- a bright dome of green among the gray rocks

The day lilies are emerging on the side of the garage. Later they will grow until there is a wall of green and you can't tell one plant from the other.
In the shade garden. . .

Bleeding Heart- another favorite

Look at all the new growth on the plum tree (the things that are shooting straight up)

The Weeping cherry has buds. . . one of the early bloomers of the season

A mole trap. . . .yuck.

The flowers are coming!

I walked out to look at the garden today and got so excited. The hyacinths are popping, the cherry tree is starting to get tiny buds. The day lilies are spreading and the grass is getting greener. The sedum is coming up in its rounded clump way. The hens and chicks, phlox, and boxwood survived winter and are getting greener! I used to despise spring. . . now that we have gardens , i find it excitng!

I am not sure when i will get a chance to work out there. I could do it now as jaely naps, but i have toilets to clean and dishes to do and dust to dust.

It is supposed to be sunny and warm for the next few days, so i will make it a point to get out there. But, for now, i am enjoying it without working in it!

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata. . . means no worries. . . .

Date night was awesome. After Gail picked jaely up from us in Lansing, TJ and i wandered the mall there a little. I got changed into my black and white linen dress with purple satin trim and my purple heels. We went to eat at Gilbert and Blake's seafood and grill. We had drinks, a wonderful meal and two decadent desserts that we shared. My drink was a little strong and we had some time to kill, so we ate slowly and enjoyed eachother's company. I was surprised. . . we didn't talk about Jaely very much. It was so nice to be out in public, dressed up and not cutting food into tiny bite size pieces for jaely.

We then headed to MSU's Wharton center. It was a pretty nice theater. I did miss the historical feeling and decorative surroundings. . . like in Toronto or chicago, but it was nice. We had spectacular seats. . . second row in the grand tier. The show amazed us. . . not just the singing, but the costumes and puppeteering. I often just enjoy things and don't think about the how, but this show forced me to think of the how. How are they doing that? How are they making it look that way? That was the most talkative first act i have ever witnessed. People were whispering with amazement and pointing in all directions. It really was unbelievable.

The show didn't start until 8 and we still had to drive to gail's, so we got home pretty late. It was well worth it. I feel rejuvenated as a wife and as a mother. I needed to feel sexy, to have the door opened for me, to grab my husband's hand from across the table and look into his eyes, to have him look at me that certain way, and to be surrounded by adults.

Thank you gail! It is so wonderful to have jaely in such trusting care that it doesn't occupy our minds while we are trying to enjoy a night out. Around 8:45, i had a thought/worry that maybe jaely was crying and wasn't sleeping well for gail, but then i dismissed it knowing that jaely is probably sleeping and if she isn't gail can handle it. . . she might even get some cuddle time! My thought lasted for maybe 30 seconds and then i returned to watching the performance.

It truly was an evening of no worries. Hakuna matata.

Now TJ is working on school stuff and my list of things i need to get done around the house is growing. . . .but i feel so energized and rejuvenated.

Making the Best of Spring Break

It is April, but it sure doesn't feel like it outside. I was really hoping for sunshine, blue skies and time in our gardens, but it doesn't look like that is going to be the case. In fact, i just purchased a sweater that Jaely can wear over her Easter dress (all her dresses, really). Brrrr.

It was a wonderful day today. It really felt like spring break for me. I went shopping and surrounded myself with spring looking clothes and accessories. The best part is that i didn't have jaely (she can't read yet, so i can write that). TJ had her all day while i wandered around town, went into places that i have always wanted to go into, and barely spent any money! It was great. I did meet TJ and Jaely for lunch. The best part??? Coming home and seeing Jaelynne get so excited to see me!! Now i know how TJ feels when he gets home. :)

I actually couldn't stay out as long as i had intended because of my stupid cold. I have a bad cough and my head is so full i can hardly think straight. It was still a great day!

A good laugh.

You have to check out this cake wreck site~ Hilarious!

These are just a few samples. . . and the blogger cracks me up!

Nothing in particular

This has been a tough week. All three of us seem to be getting little sleep. Tomorrow, TJ heads to Traverse City and i am staying back this time. Jaely slept a little better last night.

i am so tired. I know part of it is that i am not taking good care of myself. I need to start drinking more water and eating a lot healthier. . . and a little exercise wouldn't hurt either. I am just so unmotivated and so tired. I know i would feel better. I know i would be healthier. . . but i just hate it!

I got my haircut last night and that was wonderful. I got to talk to an adult for an hour without any interruptions. I was actually struggling to stay awake. . . it was so relaxing.

This post is kind of pointless.
Bye

A Much Needed Walk

Most days i love my job, yesterday that was not the case. Most days i am so happy with the decision we made for me to stay home. I cherish the little moments. Yesterday, i felt like it was a day of crying, frustration, and sleepy fogginess.

Thank goodness for our family walk. The sunshine, fresh air, my husband and my daughter made for a wonderful walk. I loved looking down at jaely and seeing her motorcycle hands going wild with excitement and her legs stiff as she twirled her feet around and around. She sucked on her little people table the whole time as she looked from side to side. TJ and i got to peek in a house that is for sale. I love looking at houses.

We passed a house that we love that has been for sale for awhile. It is the same builder as ours, but a little bigger. It has a heated pull barn (perfect for a woodshop), finished basement, and beautiful landscaping. When we passed it we noticed hoses coming from the basement window, and carpet in heaps on the yard next to the windows. Obviously they had some real water problems in their finished basement. Then we heard two neighbors talking to each other about their wet basements. I guess it is a problem for a lot of people around here. It is supposed to rain tomorrow. . . .

I am thankful that we got to enjoy a wonderful walk.

Rain, Rain Go Away

We have lived in our house for five years. Before we moved in we had some concern about some water marks we had on the basement floor. The builder said that it is from when they back filled in the spring and that some ice had been trapped. . . or something like that.

Yesterday, i went downstairs to put something away and there it was. . . water- not a ton, but enough to make you nervous. I had to wake TJ up from a nap. Yikes.

We haven't ever had this much rain with frozen ground. There really is no where for the water to go. We have a lake between our house and the neighbor's house on the north side of our house (ya, you should be impressed with my directional description).

Nothing was ruined. . . we have almost everything in plastic containers. But i hate water. I know it can easily lead to mildew, mold and stink. Jaely's rocking ass (her Eeyore that is like a rocking horse) was alright, but the box he came in was gross, so he is naked and unprotected at the moment. . . but it might almost be time to give jealy her rocking ass anyways.

Thank goodness it did not touch the hunk of cherry that TJ miraculously turned into a beautiful front for Jaely's window seat. I immediately got it up off the floor.

The water is in the northeast corner of the basement. It crept along both walls, but never got to anywhere near where the side we are hoping to one day finish. It does bring up some concern about that though too.

TJ was furious.
We took pictures so we could e-mail the builder.
We should have e-mailed him when our emotions were raw.

Hobbies

I have many hobbies- some would say too many. I love to read, knit, cross stitch, ribbon embroidery, scrapbook, sew, stamping, card making, and gardening. All of these things take up space, need a lot of supplies and take time.

My newest hobby is cake decorating. I was drawn to it when i started thinking about Jaely's first birthday party. My mom always made our cakes- different shapes and characters. I thought it would be something i would enjoy. Her party is going to be flower theme (since i am anxious for spring to come and the flowers to come up). When i saw a cute flower shaped pan, i thought i would give cake decorating a try. I really enjoyed it. I made a mess in the kitchen, but is was rather relaxing and fun.

Here is the practice cake. I definitely need to put more frosting on the sides, but other than that i am happy with how it looks. I also am going to make the pink brighter. The most time consuming part was making and coloring the frosting.

After tasting the cake, i was rather disappointed. Just kind of tasteless. The frosting was good, but i think the actual cake mix i used was kind of blah. I am trying not to compare it to a texas sheet cake (my favorite). . . maybe i should have just planned to make texas sheet cake. . . but there is no going back now.

Now. . . to clean up the MESS!

Not a good start

All before 8:00 am i watched the cat throw up and had to clean it up, got a horrendous kink in my neck and shoulder, cleaned a nasty pot that "soaked" overnight, burned my finger, and burned my english muffin.

It can only get better from here.

Happy Saturday!

Gloria

I have been humming this song for awhile and stumbled upon this video. It is of the highest quality of singing, dancing, and special effects. I love her dance moves.

Mom

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.
Erich FrommI am trying not to relive the day that occurred six years ago. . . there is no reason to, but sometimes it just seeps into my mind. Instead i am trying to think of all the good memories that i have of my mom. Most of the time these memories make me smile and feel blessed, but today they almost make me feel more sad.

It is harder this year than last year. I am thinking of all these memories of my mom and then i look over at jaely and it just breaks my heart- for so many reasons.

I'll get through today. i always do.

Lovin' Traverse

The bug and i are having a great time in Traverse City. She is sleeping in the bathroom with her noise maker and actually sleeping real well (except she got up early). Today i realized that getting her to stay on the safe, germ free blanket that i put down on the floor would be nearly impossible. She can only play in her Pack N Play for so long. So we loaded up and went out. The only thing open that early is kohl's. Luckily kohl's had just marked down a bunch of jaely clothes earlier this morning. 70% off! I loaded up for the upcoming sizes. Then we came back and i put her down for nap. It is so nice to be so close to all the shopping because i can bop in and out of the hotel when i need to. She fell right asleep. Then we went back out. She was a little fussy. Came back and Jaely and tj took a nap. Then we all went swimming before heading out to meet some people for dinner.

We ate at Red Ginger. Yum! The best kung pao ever! Jaely is back in the bathroom- i am praying for another good night. Tomorrow- i think more shopping. I have to check out of the hotel before TJ is done with meetings, so it may be a little tricky, but nothing i cannot handle. Life with a baby at a hotel is sure different. . . changing her on the bed or the table, rinsing dishes, feeding her without a high chair. I am so glad we were able to get a handicap room so we can wheel her Pack N Play in and out of the bathroom. When she gets home i am sure she is going to scoot all over the place!

I kind of feel like i am on vacation. Even though i am exhausted from towing around a ten month old all day, when she is napping i CAN'T empty the dishwasher, get dinner ready, clean, or do laundry. My options are to sleep, watch TV or get on my computer. Nice. . . almost carefree!

Mother's love is bliss, is peace, it need not be acquired, it need not be deserved
- Erich Fromm