Spring Break- Day 7

My day can be separated into two categories- inside & outside.

Inside-
This morning after we dropped off the girls, we went to Toast & Jams for some breakfast. It was great to eat enjoy a quiet meal without any interruptions. Well, there was this one interruption that made me jumpy for the rest of the meal. The lady in the booth behind me went "PPPPSSSSSSTTTTTT" really loudly in my ear. She thought she knew me. She didn't. She scared the bejeebers out of me! When we got home, TJ worked on the built-in and i went downstairs to scrap.
This isn't finished yet, but doesn't it look beautiful?!

My A page for Jaely's ABC book. I have a lot done. . .


These i made with my Cricut. I am running out of stickers that start with different letters of the alphabet, but my Cricut came through for me!
Outside-
I have blisters on my hands from all the raking and i have dirt caked under my nails, but i LOVED working outside in the sunshine and warm weather. The back garden is quite a mess because i let it go by late summer. . . i was pregnant and tired. I am hoping to get wood chips to help me keep the weeds down this year. They got out of control last summer. There is some green this early on. . .

Hycinths

the reddish purple color of the peony

the sedum

a Hen & Chick

I filled the wheelbarrow many times with all the leaves and dead stuff.
The boxwoods are doing very well and the hostas in front of them are just starting to peek through the soil.
There are buds on the Fountain Cherry tree!

I have a hair appointment tonight that couldn't be switched. TJ is going to have to give Cami a bottle, entertain a three year old and get dinner ready while i sit in a chair and get my shoulders massaged. I feel bad. That means tomorrow we are going to the Children's Museum. I am bummed that Kevin Kammeraad won't be there like he is tonight, but going tomorrow will also give Jaely more time to play with things.

Spring Break- Day 6

I decided to run out to the mall for Younker's "Best sale of the season" sale and then i needed to stop at Jo Ann's because they have their stickers on sale this week. It was wonderful to wander around and not have to worry about jaely getting bored or Camryn having to eat or to sleep. I wandered and probably didn't make the best use of my time because of it, but enjoyed the wandering. When i got back, i had to pump and eat lunch and then i was off to the basement.

The basement is where i set up my crafting area. I have all of my scrapbooking stuff down there. I can leave it out, which helps a ton. I get a lot more done when i can sneak down there and everything is ready to go and then when i am out of time or a baby is crying, i can stop what i am doing and i don't have to put it all away. My Cricut is always ready to go and Jaely's hanging artwork and pictures inspire me. Sometimes the sun pours through the window. It can be chilly at times and it is nothing special, but i LOVE it. I also have my sewing machine down there and my huge cutting table. Right now there is a huge pile of cut fabric and a storage tub of cut ribbon ready for loopie making. Today, though, i just concentrated on scrapbooking. And honestly, i was down there for like 40 minutes before an uncontrollable sleepiness came over me. One that had to be given a short nap. I didn't get much done today while the kids were away, but i feel like i got some "me" time and i needed that!

TJ was able to put together Jaely and Cami's new outdoor table that they got from Nammy and Grandpa. And. . . he worked on the built-in!!! The window seat is glued together. I am getting really ExCitED about it again! TJ also fixed the stool that i got for free for school.Now i am looking forward to when the girls get home. I love to play with Jaely. . .it is so much more fun when i have energy. And i get to fed Camryn. I love having that bond with her. Who knows what i am going to do after their bedtime. Cami has been a bit fussy in her crib that last two nights. Nothing major, but annoying enough where you have to stick close by to reswaddle or reinsert her binky.

Spring Break- Day 5

Finally. . . sunshine and warmer temperatures. It actually feels like spring break. I tried to enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. I opened all the blinds and let the sun pour in. The cats appreciated it as they lounged in the warmth, sometimes stretching their bodies to fit in a single stream of light. Today was a very productive day. TJ dropped the girls off at Miss Amber's house at 9 and didn't pick them up until 4. We both got a lot done, independently of each other. TJ worked on reviving the truck. . . he swears it is saying "I'm not dead, yet." I beg to differ, but we can agree to disagree fairly easily on such issues. And i know there will be a time when i will be thankful that we have that truck. I just don't know how often that will occur or how soon it can occur. :)

While he worked outside on the truck and doing some spring cleanup, i worked inside. I cleaned out the girls' closets & cut tags off of their spring and summer clothes- some i had bought over two years ago at an amazing price. I washed them and then put them away. I was still not ready to put away long sleeves, sweaters, sweatshirts or jeans. So their summer and spring things sit in their closets, but they are ready to go when warm weather gets here. And when the busy end of the school year comes, i will be so thankful i got that done.

I also took on the task of catching up on Camryn's baby book. I was five months behind. That project spurred on the project of organizing pictures and albums. I labeled our albums with letters of the alphabet. In three years, we are already up to the letter S. Yikes! I scrapbooked quick pages of Cami's first Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Valentine's Day for her baby book. I had to go back on her blog and read about her at one month, two months, three months and four months so i could fill out that part of her baby book. That took awhile.

I am pondering about what to do tomorrow. I want to scrapbook Jaely's alphabet book, clean up the basement and go shopping for a few spring clothes (even though, i probably shouldn't). I need to have a plan of what i am doing before i wake up tomorrow. Maybe i should make a list. . .

Spring Break- Day 4

Because of Spring Break, i am getting to spend a lot of time with these two people.
Mornings are slower paced and starting a little later. I love snuggling, reading, and playing with my daughters. Today, Jaely said she wanted to go to the mall and play. I took her to Hobby Lobby first. We got some stickers and some finger paint to help get us through some of these rainy days that sound like they are sticking around. Jaely could not stop talking about the finger paints. She kept holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers. I set up a table for her downstairs for some of her crafting. Then we were off to the mall. I loved walking hand in hand with my three year old through the mall. She was pointing out purses and shoes and clothes. When she saw cars parked in the middle of the mall she said "silly cars, mama!" We stopped at the gap and found some robot pajamas on clearance and a few other goodies. Then we went to the play area. Jaely stuck closer to me at the play area than she did at the Gap. She said "too many people, mama. I go home and play with toys." So. . . off we went back home. Little did she know it was time for lunch and a nap. Toys would have to wait.

I love having energy for my daughters. It doesn't seem all spent by the time i get to play with them. My two hour naps do wonders for me! Almost every day so far, we have taken naps all at the same time. TJ falls asleep on the couch in front of the TV, Cami goes to sleep unbelievably quickly in her crib, Jaely puts pajamas on a few friends before crashing, and i crawl into bed as the little bit of light peeks in through the windows. The cats curl up on the bed by my feet and everyone sleeps. Everyone wakes up at about the same time too.

Although i am not in Florida or getting my windows and screens washed, i am savoring my time off. I looked at the clock this morning at 8:20 and a huge grin came over my face because instead of standing outside my classroom door greeting my students, i was making Camryn giggle on the floor.

Spring Break - Day 3

I had the perfect day. . . well, it may have been a titch more perfect if it was sunny and warm, instead of snowy and cold.

But. . . .

We got to celebrate the lives of two amazing three year olds today by dressing up and going to the Frederik Meijer Gardens. Happy Birthday Sophia and Jaelynne! You have brought so many smiles to people's faces.
It was so good to hang out with friends. With four kids there were quite a few interruptions in our conversations, but between chasing after kids, answering their questions, directing their attention and being interested in their experience we did manage to get a few conversations in. It was refreshing.

I think i might scrapbook tonight even though i am so tired. I just feel like relaxing, but being productive at the same time. And. . . it is spring break after all. I do not have to begin my day at 5 in the morning tomorrow! For that i am truly thankful.

Spring Break- Day 2

Today has been a rather strange day, although I am not sure what started it going in a strange direction. I got to sleep in two hours again. This morning i fed camryn and then fed Jaely when she got up, which is something i rarely do. It was nice. Then i spent the morning playing with the two girls. We are headed out after naps. I was going to go to some garage sales this morning, but the weather was quite disgusting- foggy & drizzling. So we all stayed in our jammies. . . everyone but Cami. She always gets dressed!

I did get a two hour nap in again! Whoo Hoo! The remainder of my break i am not going to take such naps. I am going to try to do something productive, yet enjoyable. Naps don't fit into that category. The sun is starting to peek out and i am gaining back some motivation to do stuff. Off i go to do who knows what!

Preschool

Of course I fell in love with the preschool we visited today. If i ran a preschool, i would totally set it up this way. Everything looked so organized and child-centered. The staff is very credible and seemed amazing. Jaely seemed so comfortable there. I loved the art section, all the cubbies, the small tables and chairs and benches, the murals and stage, the pets, and the exciting curriculum that i think Jaelynne is ready for.

But. . .
Next year is going to be a mixed up year anyway with TJ trying to finish his masters degree. The girls will have to be at daycare all day because TJ needs to work part time but also get his 600 hour practicum in. Which means all day day care but only getting paid as a half time person, plus the costs of all the classes (about $8000) next year. Time is running out to satisfy his degree without having to retake (and repay for) classes that he took when he started his degree. I support him in this and want so bad to make it work for him. He just seems like he would be an amazing counselor.

So we started the hunt for preschools. I felt like we don't have many options based on location. Neither one of us can really leave our job to run Jaely to Daycare mid day. The preschool we fell in love with is close to Amber so she has been known to pick kids up there and then have them finish the day up at her house.

Because the girls will be full time there next year, Daycare will cost the same if Jaely is there everyday or if she goes to Preschool three mornings a week. . . so basically Preschool will be extra, instead of taking the place of some daycare costs. I think Jaely would thrive at this preschool. I think it would be a great opportunity to learn more in the area of pre-literacy. She would also learn Spanish and sign language, participate in dramatic play and music, and learn more gross and fine motor skills.

With the increase in daycare costs and the amount of money to pay for the grad classes, i don't know if we can swing it. This is not what we intended. We wanted to not have to put our girls in daycare at all. We compromised with half days, and it turned out to be a wonderful thing. We are very happy with the set up we have now. There are few rushed mornings. The girls get plenty of sleep and plenty of play time with their papa. Jaely has learned to share and make friends because of daycare, but to be there all day is still not what we wanted.

Will i be okay with waiting until she is four to send her to preschool? Will i have regrets? Will the increase in pay once TJ gets his masters compensate quickly for this financially tough year ahead of us?

I just don't know what to do.

Arg.

Spring Break- Day 1

I got to sleep in until 7, instead of 5. I enjoyed feeding Cami and not feeling as rushed as a typically do on a Friday morning. She is super cuddly in the morning & this morning i had time to cuddle and play and make her giggle. I also had time to sip my chai, not out of a travel mug while driving to work, but out of a latte mug while sitting next to cami. I even sprinkled some extra cinnamon on it. It is only 12:30 and we have had quite an adventure already this morning. We went to a garage sale with the girls. They had brand new crafting and scrapbooking things for super cheap. They also had precious moments for $5, but i resisted my temptation, especially since i don't have my current collection fully displayed as it is. We got Jae an awesome organizer filled with beads, never opened and a polly pocket car and camper. She is so excited to go camping this summer. She has already started talking about it.

In a few minutes i am going to take a nap. . .a guilt free nap, which NEVER happens. I should always be doing something else, but now that it is spring break, i can tell myself that i have plenty of time to get things done at another time.

This evening, Jaely and papa are going to Miss Amber's for some pizza and to see some of her friends. I am hanging at home with the Camster. This spring break, i hope to get some scrapbooking done, start weeding through stuff in the basement, maybe rake out the gardens, and if it is warm enough clean windows and screens. That is quite a list with a 3 year old and an almost 5 month old. We will see!

A year Ago

About a year ago today, TJ was in Houston for school. Gail was in town to help me with Jaely. I had an early morning appointment in Grand Rapids with the fertility specialists. We were trying yet another round of hormones. . . more shots, more appointments, more moodiness. I had an appointment because i had already started my next round of shots. My previous round had ended with me getting my period, which means we weren't pregnant. That round didn't take. When i am on my shots, they monitor my follicles closely for growth. I was going in to the doctors like i had so many times before. It normally is a quick appointment and i can get to school to finish the afternoon. When i went in about a year ago, the nurse did my ultrasound to see how my follicles were looking. She got really quiet and stopped to double check my chart. I saw her reread it. She then asked me how my last round of shots ended. I told her that i had gotten my period. She asked if it was a normal one. She finally said that on my ultrasound she had seen something that looked like a pregnancy. She didn't want me to get my hopes up, but she was sending me to the hospital to get blood drawn stat. She said the "something" wasn't there at my last visit, but there was a chance it was something else.

I got in the car. I really didn't care too much about getting back to school. I called TJ. He downplayed it (his typical response). Then i called gail, who promptly pulled her car over with Jaely in the backseat and they prayed. I got my blood drawn and then went to school. I tried to act normal, but i just had to tell some of my friends that something was spotted in my uterus. I taught and then while my kids were in computers. . . i got the call. My blood work came back positive. POSITIVE! I tried calling TJ, but no answer. I interrupted my friends' classes to sneak in and whisper the good news. I was already 6 weeks pregnant! I knew with Jaely when i was only two weeks. I immediately thought back to what i had drank, taken, and done. All was good! I was worried about all the shots that i had already started, but they told me they won't harm the baby and, in fact could even help me keep the baby.

Camryn had somehow hung on. My period was probably a miscarriage (i had many follicles ready to drop an egg when i got my final shot, which could result in multiples).

I will never forget that day. Never forget when i learned we were going to have our second child. I was so cautious. Because it was such a strange circumstance, i kept waiting for something to go wrong in my pregnancy. . .but it didn't. She remained healthy and strong.

A year ago i learned that God had begun to knit another tiny human being in me. I learned i could be done with those awful hormone shots that make me turn into a witch. I learned Jaely would be a big sister. A year ago, i witnessed a miracle.

Camryn is "talking" very loudly next to me as i type this. Tears flood my eyes. What a miracle. What a blessing. What an unexpected answer to prayer

I Found My Groove

I finally found my groove. Life has a predictable rhythm once again. It is a fast paced rhythm that leaves little time for errors, extras, and me, but i am just so glad i found it. I wake up in the morning at 5 (sometimes earlier if Cami wakes up earlier) hop in the shower with the monitor sitting on the counter, do my make-up and hair and then pack my lunch, get all the parts to my pump packed, and even measure out the milk and chai mix for my daily chai. I do everything i can to get ready for school, except get dressed. At 6, i wake up my little snuggle bug and feed her. Then i put her back in her crib after a few snuggles and get dressed. Put my chai mixture in the microwave while i start my car and load it and then i am off. I correct papers while i walk around the room watching my kids do their independent practice and activities. I pump at lunch and planning, help kids finish their work during recess or quiz them on their multiplication facts for the taco party they could earn, teach my little heart out the rest of the time and then get the kids on the bus. I then have 15 minutes to clean up my desk and room before heading out the door to see my hubbie and girls. I get home and have to pump and then i cuddle Cami a few moments before she goes to sleep. I play with jaely and then we pick up her toys for dinner. Eat dinner then clean up from dinner, nurse Cami, play with cami and get her jammies on for bed. Then once she is asleep at 9;30 ish, i can either do school work, tidy up or go to bed. Normally. . . i veg on the couch and watch a show or facebook while drifting off to sleep.

I am sure this is a typical schedule of anybody with two kids. It took awhile to figure it out, but i did. And thank goodness for weekends for cleaning, family time, and laundry. . . and most of all, thank goodness for TJ. His day is very similar!

Sounds

The sounds of my snoring husband mixed with the heavy breathing and little squeaks coming from my youngest daughter make my heart a happy one. Cami is nestled and sleeping in the crook of TJ's arm, sucking ever so gently and rhythmically on her binky. Soon, her lips will part and the binky will fall out, revealing her perfect pink lips and she will continue to sleep soundly. I just checked on Jaely, the sound of her rain machine coming from her room and her night light shining through under the door. She has surrounded herself with her friends during her first night back in her bed after staying at relatives. She has changed her pajamas after we said good night and dressed Ella in the pajamas that she was wearing. She has each friend set up on a pillow and you can tell that she has read them a book before tucking them all in. She too is breathing heavily. She was one tired bug from all the festivities of her trip. She was asleep in no time.

The house is very quiet, except for the soft sound of the rain machine and the heavy breathing from all of its sleeping occupants. I enjoy quiet. Without Jaely home these last few days it has been too quiet. But when there is such potential for loudness, i love the quiet. . . the peacefulness, the tranquility.

TJ's snoring makes me smile (most of the time) and so does Cami's little sighs. I wish i could hear my mom's laugh one more time. I wish my mom would have been able to experience the quiet moment of holding her sleeping granddaughter and giggling with her oldest granddaughter. Jaely's laughter mixed with my mother's would have been a delightful sound.

I love our home. How quiet and peaceful it can be and how sometimes it feels like it is going to burst with energy and laughter. How every occupant can be crazily dancing in the living room one moment and snuggled under blankets the next. I love family, being so relaxed and loved for who i am. I love being still, being thankful, being quiet. Lately, this is a rarity, but i am thankful for it.

Some Time to Myself

(sigh) i am sitting on the couch sipping a perfect chai, the kind with a little cinnamon sprinkled on top. I didn't have to wake up at 5 today, even though it is a week day. I am on break. Cami slept in until almost 7, so i woke up and fed her and put her back down. I decided to stay up and get some things done while everyone is sleeping, but instead i find that i just want to sit and enjoy some me time. I don't have much left, but i am enjoying every second. Soon, i have to shower, and hang with both girls while TJ runs some errands and then i am off to run some errands- one being a weight watchers meeting, where i know i will not like the numbers on the scale this week.

This mid winter break i have great plans. I want to finish our taxes, renew my teaching certificate, clean the entire house, grade papers, do laundry, and i would love to scrap for just a little bit. We are leaving for the east side of the state tomorrow after a birthday party in Grandville. We are coming back on Sunday without Jaely. I hope to get some things accomplished, but i am trying not to get my hopes up. Taxes take a loooooong time.

yum. What a perfect chai- what a perfect morning.

I am Doing Okay.

I just can't seem to figure life's rhythm out right now. I can't find my groove, and when i think i found it in one area, i am either being mediocre as a teacher, a wife or a mom. Sometimes, i am not even mediocre. I am tired. I have a lot of guilt. I should be grading papers. I should be playing more with Camryn. I should be reading to her every day. I should be getting the house clean. I should be dancing with Jaely. I should be cleaning up from dinner. I should be a better listener to TJ. I should have more patience for my students.

I feel like i am going non-stop. Grading papers with one hand while pumping in my classroom with the other. Folding laundry while kind of playing with Cami as she lays on our bed. Laying out clothes for the next day while carrying Camryn around. Blogging while kind of playing with Camryn next to me. Nursing Camryn while asking Jaely about her day. Listening to TJ tell me about his day as i play with jaely. No one is getting my undivided attention, and it is driving me nuts.

Right now, i am just so tired so nothing is making sense. In a few more minutes i can put camryn down for the night and then i am down for the night. Well, i have to wake in a couple of hours to pump. I just need sleep. I didn't realize how important sleep can be for me. I eat worse when i am exhausted. I have no patience. I get overwhelmed.

I am so glad it is the weekend. At nap time tomorrow, do i clean the house or do i do a tad of scrap booking? Or maybe take a nap. Or grade the mound of papers i have. Or go on a family outing.

TJ

Today is TJ's birthday. He is reading to Jaely her bed time book as i write this. He has made me smile so many times today. He has made dinner and emptied the dishwasher. He has fed Camryn a bottle and fed jaely a messy breakfast. He has tenderly kissed me and sent me pictures of cami today. He has balanced work at school and work at home. He let me park in the garage. This is his everyday. He is amazing. I am so thankful that God brought our paths together. I think of when we first met- When i giggled as i stuffed my nose into his armpit because i liked the smell of his deodorant. When he would drive me home in the Aerostar and kiss me in my driveway. When he would snuggle with me on the couch and rub my head. I loved him then, when we were so young and our worries were homework and what to do Saturday night. Now, our life is so different. We have bigger worries, but such huge joys. I love how he loves me. I love how he loves our girls. I cannot imagine life without him. It would be such a lonely path. I am so blessed and so thankful that God knitted TJ together, knowing that he would be perfect for me and knowing that he would have such an impact on the world around him.

Happy birthday Rescue Ranger.

Thanks Charity!

I stole these pictures from my friend's blog. They are from New Year's Eve.

The kidsThe Guys

The girls

Jaely

Charity nursing Cami (Just kidding!) Cami likes to bury her face in armpits, so it can look a little awkward!

I am so thankful God put these friends in our lives.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho. . .

It's off to work i go.

Blah. It is going to be so hard Monday to leave my 10 week old baby. When i set up my maternity leave, i pictured leaving a tiny fragile newborn. That, however, is not the case. I don't worry about her. . . i just am bummed that i am going to miss her and many of her firsts. I was home with Jaelynne for a year and a half, so i have never had to do this.

What i am worried about is pumping at work. Where will i do it? When will i get work done? Am i going to explode?! Am i going to leak? What am i going to do on days i don't have a break, like my first day back with students. I have fifteen minutes to eat my lunch and that is my only break for that whole day. Yikes!

I am so thankful for Amber. I truly have no worries handing our most precious gifts over to her for half the day and i obviously have no worries about TJ for the other half. I just hope he enjoys his part time job of staying home with both girls.

So, if you are one of the few that read this blog, please say a prayer for me if you think of it. I could use it. Camryn will be fine. . . it is me i am worried about!

New Year's Eve

It felt so good to see friends, laugh and eat. There were 15 kids there, including a 2 day old Liam. It was crazy and loud at times and the kids turned the basement into a disaster zone, but it was so nice to reconnect with people.




Trying to get all the kids together for a picture.
Everyone needed to get in there spots before Liam and camryn were added onto their pillows.
Nobody really knows where to look!





Maya with her umbrella- they were a big hit.





And this is just the beginning of the mess that was created!
Noah liked this seat more than Keegan did!
Daniel giving Camryn her bottle. She ate at 11 and then didn't eat again until 6:40. Whoo Hoo!
Thanks Ang and Ryan for having all of us over. We really do need to get together more.