The fun just keeps going

After seeing Katie's blog and giggling, i notice that my other brother decided to do the yearbook thing in yet a different way. . . the laughs just keep coming. I love it!

How Fun is This?

Thanks Jered!











I think i look like my grandma in one of them. . .

Peaceful

Jaelynne is asleep in her swing, clutching a loopie, head tilted to the side and back. TJ is lightly snoring on the couch, glasses folded on the coffee table and cats curled up next to him. The only light is the glow of the fish tank and the little light from this gloomy day that tries to make its way through our windows. Friends plays softly in the background with the hum of the swing going back and forth.

We are all at peace right now. Things just feel right. I just finished cleaning up after dinner. My dad came to visit his granddaughter today and with him brought our dinner, dessert, a change from the monotany, and Jaely's first Christmas present, wrapped in christmas paper and tagged with her name on it - a U of M cheerleading outfit. He left so Jaely and i could get a little nap. Dinner was awesome. I made the linguini and warmed up the deliciouse spaghetti sauce, stuck a bread loaf in the oven, poured two glasses of milk and away we went. Thanks dad! And for dessert homemade blueberry peach pie with a beautiful lattice crust -worthy of a picture really.

I am becomming more comfortable in the kitchen. I cooked the pasta tonight perfectly, and timed everything just right so it was all done at the same time. Yesterday i made ravioli. TJ is so appreciative of it and he makes sure to show me and let me know. He is able to spend more time with Jaely, even if that means changing a poopy diaper, and he can take a little nap.

I better wake up the Jaebug. We want her to beable to sleep tonight and she needs to eat soon. Dad got to watch her eat her cereal and what a show she put on for him. Smiles, a little giggling, and such sounds. The last time her saw her was just in August, and he said she has changed so much. i am glad it is not passing to quickly before my eyes, that i am able to enjoy it.

It is hard to wake a peaceful baby.

Abby

Abby is very good at seeking attention from TJ. However, she isn't sure if she wants Jaely's attention, yet.Ya, she is sleeping on his leg.

Ping Pong

I seem to back and forth from one extremity to the other within a given week, sometimes within a given day. At times, i feel so good about what i am doing this year. So validated. Like i couldn't imagine it any other way. Like this is what i am supposed to do, without a doubt. Other times, i find myself having to remind myself why i chose to do this again, why i looked at some $40,000 and said "no, i don't really need you this year," why i think i would be that much better than daycare. Most of the time, i just need to look into jaely's eyes, and all those whys are answered. This is what i am supposed to do. Yet, at the same time, i want to be able to buy things for her, to sign her up for swimming lessons, to purchase things that will spur her creativity, to get her that cabbage patch doll. I know those are all material things, but i still want her to have things. Clipping coupons, checking ads, worrying if i should really get that chai that i have been craving. Being reminded that God will provide (although, maybe not chai- that isn't really that essential to life, is it?)

Sometimes, i have the best day. Things go smoothly- or i am able to comfort her, or i hear a giggle, or i see a new facial expression, or she plays her heart out and then takes a much needed nap. I sing to her in my horrible singing voice and her face just lights up. Sometimes, i feel like my world is closing in- like an outing will require me to spend money, or tempt me, on things we don't need. Walks go too fast. Saturdays are the same as Wednesdays. Haven't slept past 8 (if i am lucky) in five months, waking up in the wee hours of the morning to pump. Sometimes i get stuck in that rut, and all i can see are the monotonous things- wake up, change diaper, nurse/feed, play, read, nap time. Repeat. Most of the time, i am able to throw something differnt in- play out on the deck, read a story on the porch, go to meijers to get stuff we NEED, find a different toy, try a new food. Breaks up the monotony.

But i would say for the most part, i feel validated. I see her smile. I watch her hair come in hour by hour. I rejoice as she rolls around on the living room, and giggle as she keeps rolling to the coffee table to lick the table leg. I treasure seeing her face when she takes a bite of plain avocado, her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth partly open trying to figure out what this new taste is. I cherish the snuggle times of reading her stories before every nap and waking her up to see her smile and stretch. I am relieved when i can check her poopy diaper and see there is no blood. I get to witness her seeing something for the first time and just be mesmerized by it, stretching her arms out to try to touch it. I get to watch her clutch her shirt fabric in her hand, get it around her fingers and then attempt to stick it in her mouth at the same time she is nursing. Sometimes she will just settle for rubbing the fabric up and down her cheek while she eats. I get to laugh at her when she grabs her foot and pumps it up and down repeatedly. There are so many good things about this decision we made. Sometimes, i just need to remind myself. . .and i did just that. Thanks for reading!

Good Book

I have been reading Little Earthquakes since i finished the Penderwicks. Last night i found myself conversing with the characters. It was in a dream. The author makes the characters seem so real, i feel like i know them. I can tell the ones that i would really get along with, the ones that i have nothing in common with, but would still appreciate, and the ones that would get on my nerves. Becky and i are so similar. It is about four women who just had babies. It makes me laugh and cry. Anyway, i was in the midst of all these women and their babies and jaely was there, too. It was so weird, but i liked it.

This week as been really good. I felt terrible yesterday (headache, mostly), but managed to take a nap and watch The Notebook during jaely's long nap. That movie made me very thoughtful, nastogic, and wondering for the rest of the day. In fact, after it was over i went in to wake up Jaelynne and i just stared at her and smiled and cried- so thankful that i get to have these moments with her. Then when i was trying to fall alseep, i couldn't. I wasn't anxious or worried. I was just calmly thinking. . . about everything.

Haven't heard about TJ's job, yet. Probably not a good sign, but we don't know when the rest of the interviews were being done. They did tell him they would know sometime this week, and we havn't heard.

Well, time to feed the bug. Yum. . . avocado mixed with oatmeal cereal. Can you picture the color of that? Can you picture the color of it regurgitated? Yum.

I Lost my Touch

I am so blessed to have married a man that truly enjoys cooking. He cooks and i have clean up duty. I have been spoiled these last seven years (even longer, since he cooked for me while we were dating). I used to cook for myself- sure it was a lot of pasta roni and chicken breasts, but i did it. If i messed it up, it didn't really matter because it was just for me. I want to start cooking more, so TJ can take a nap or have more jaely time when he gets home from work. The minute i cook for someone else, i get super nervous that i am going to mess something up.

I went to meijer today to pick up a few things that i can cook- sloppy joes, taco salad, chicken divan, cajun-chicken pasta, and tortillini. I guess it is a start, but we are going to get very sick of these things!

Last night we brought some friends a meal to help out with adjusting to a newborn. TJ made lasagna AND cleaned the dishes. All i did was stick it in the oven. Here is a picture of the little guy. TJ used to work with his mom and dad, but they both moved on to bigger and better things.

Ball Crazy

This took away a great deal of my life today. . . not really, but it is addicting. If you click the ball, it will change colors. Good luck and thanks Karen!

The Return of the Loopie

Earlier this week, i made jaely her own loopie. Instead of the purple and green one, which we will still use, she got a bigger pink and green chenille one. I made it with ribbon that Lori used during the game of "how big is lindsey's belly" during my baby shower. Instead of a 16 x 18, i made it 20 x 20. I actually like to keep them smaller. She, of course, loves it!

I forgot how much i like to sew, to pin, to cut through fabric and to create something. I am making a loopie now for Beckett Hoppa, who was just born. As i am making it, i thought. . . i want to make these again and i can find the time during Jaely's naps and after she goes to bed. I think i have to up the price, however. They stopped making the flat, plain microfleece that i used on one side. So, now both sides are going to be texured, either bumps or chenile. That is more expensive. Also, before when i made them and sold the for $12, i was making them out of pure enjoyment, having no idea that i would sell close to 80 of them. Now, it would be nice to make a little bit of a profit. I about broke even, when i consider the time & materials.

I am excited to bring in some income for the year- just kidding- i am excited to sew again. There have been quite a few requests for loopies, so i am sure i can sell them again. I don't know if i will sell them at work, when i am not there or if i will stock pile them for next year or if i will sell them at a arts and craft booth. Who knows, i just need to start cranking them out again.

So tonight i cut a bunch of ribbon. Pinned some to Beckett's. And i scrapbooked afew more pages in Jaely's book. TJ is finishing up the drawers for her dresser. We are tired, but we just keep going!

Step 3- Wait

TJ thought his interview went terribly, but TJ always thinks things go poorly when they involve him. He is very hard on himself. Last night he had a lot of "i should have saids" go through his mind. A few things he would have liked to have done differently comes with many practices of interviews. He wanted to connect his answers more to other responses and also use his past expereinces and achievements to talk about what he will do as principal. He feels like he let down his head principal who told him to go for the job. I told TJ that his principal sees all the good he does day to day and that one interview will not let him down.

Anyway, TJ is glad it is over and spending some time hanging out with friends last night helped take his mind off of his interview. He even ate and didn't throw anything up! The superintnedent said they have 6 interviews to conduct on Tuesday and they will make a decision some time next week. TJ is kind of embarassed to teach with the two teachers that interviewed him and he is embarrassed to see his principal. I am sure it didn't go that poorly!

Watching the Clock

I have never watched the clock so much in all my life- not even the day i gave birth to Jaely. TJ is now at his interview (if they are not running behind). All morning while he was at work i would look at the clock and count how many hours he had until his interview. He left the house with plenty of time to spare looking like a sexy professional. He said he just wanted to vomit. I told him to wait until after his interview to do that. There is going to be about 10 people interviewing him, most of them he knows, and some he knows well. Does that almost make it worse? I am still watching the clock and i don't know how many prayers i have said today, mostly prayers for peace for him. There are a lot of teachers that have applied for principal jobs prior to this that don't get the job, but i hope TJ does. He heard they were interviewing about 11 people. I am just so proud of him. I don't think i would have it in me. . .

I told him to call me on his way home, so i can stop watching the clock!

Some Hilarity for your Day

Watch this! TJ and i were laughing so hard. It is so true, right down to the impractically large peacocks.

Step 2 - Interview

TJ got called today to set up an interview for the assistant principal job. He would have been really bummed if they didn't even call him for an interview. It is scheduled for 2:00 on Thursday. He gets out of school at noon that day, will come home and get changed and mentally ready and will then head out for the hour long interview. We are both excited about it. Of course, TJ is nervous, too. I am sure i will be pacing the house with Jaely for a couple of hours. If he gets this job it would be quite a change. In my first year of earning an annual income of $0, a considerable higher salary for TJ would be awesome. It would be quite a change in schedules too. He wouldn't have to leave the house at 6 in the morning, but on some nights he would be coming home after Jaely is in bed. When he is home, though- like on Sundays and most evenings, there will be no paper correcting, grades to enter, or weekly lesson plans to make. Most importantly, this is something that he really wants to do, something that will help him continue making the changes that he started, but couldn't take further as a teacher.

TJ is planning on learning from this interview experience, and he will whether he gets the job or not. He admits that he will be bummed if he doesn't get it and his efforts will, he feels, be unvalidated, but he still loves teaching- so it won't be the end of the world if he remains a teacher. I hope and pray that he is pleasantly surprised and gets the job. There are, of course, people applying that have principal experience and a masters in educational leadership, but those people are not familiar with the staff of MHS nor its goals like TJ is. We will see! I stopped saying "if" and started saying "when" in our conversations about when he becomes principal. I like the sound of it.

Me Time

TJ is back to work. Yuck! Today during Jaelynne's nap i read. I make sure to get my me time in when she is napping. I do this by taking a nap myself, reading, scrapbooking, sewing (i started a pink loopie for Jaely that includes ribbon from a shower thrown in her honor), and getting things done around the house that have been bothering me. Today i chose to read. I hate when an excellent book comes to an end. . .

Frightening

While looking through today's paper, i glanced through the coupons and stumbled upon one of the most hideous things i have ever seen. This picture doesn't do it justice, for it is difficult to see the fake fur that covers the monkey's arm and legs and its disgusting little toes. The ad claims it is "a delightful achievement in miniature art!" Here is the description:

A Tiny "baby" who Will Win your Heart!
What do we have here? A sweet little blue-eyed baby in a tiny diaper looking for some tender loving care. But this little one has a curly tail and nibbles a banana! Introducing "monkey Cuddles," a winsome little baby monkey figure so lovable, you'll smile every time you see her.

Amazing Sculpting and Charming Details
This miniature simian sweetheart is cast in resin, hand-painted and wonderfully detailed, right down to the look of contentment on her adorable baby face. Her little topknot is geniune mohair, and she wears a diaper of real fabric. This baby's special treat is a tiney sculpted banana. She is too cute for words!

This figure is not a toy. It is a fine collectible to be enjoyed by adult collectors.

That is disturbing on so many levels.I also discovered in one of my parenting magazines that Cabbage Patch Kids are re-releasing the original dolls from the 80s as a 25 year anniversary thing. In the ad of the magazine was my braided red haired, freckled Geniveve. Such memories came flooding in as i saw the ad. Geniveve was actually my second cabbage patch doll. My first one was Candy Cornilious, but she was thrown on top of the roof at my elementary school. I went to the play ground after school hours with Candy, and accidentally left her there. I am sure some boys threw her in the roof. I got her back, but she was all dirty. Most of the time she wore a whit shirt with hearts and a matching red skirt. I also had matching pajamas with my mom and my cabbage patch dolls. I know that is kind of creepy, but when i was little i thought that was the coolest thing. My brothers didn't have matching pajamas with their always-smiling lego people or star wars figurines. Ha!Candy Cornilious- my first Cabbage Patch Doll (except mine had brown eyes)

Geniveve- my second doll that stayed much cleaner- identical to the one pictured here

Not Impressed

Size doesn't matter. We went to the Muskegon Farmers market today. It was my first time there- we normally go to the Montague one. I can say that i wasn't that impressed. I mean, ya it was much larger than the montague one, but much crazier and crowded too. And, we purchased the same exact things that we do at the smaller montague one. Plus, i know people at the Montague one and i always run into someone else that i know. Anyway, i am glad that i experienced the Muskegon one, but i think i will stick to montague. I cannot wait for grinny's apples!

Tonight we are celebrating (?) the end of summer by going to pekadils and having their rib dinner. We went to get some school supplies earlier today, but TJ doesn't know if he will be a teacher or a principal this year. We tried not to make major purchases for teaching supplies that could also not be used as a principl. Interviews got moved to the end of next week, so he has to go to all the meetings next week not knowing. We rushed to wait, basically. Well, time to wake up Jaely and get ready to go eat some tasty ribs, cheesy potatoes, and a salad.

I Cannot Imagine the Vet Bills

Hopefully you don't have this dog toy shown on this blog. I don't have a dog, but i cannot imagine this. It sounds terrible. Tongues are so sensitive. I once got a sliver in mine from a popsicle stick and i thought i was going to die. I also don't know how much money i would spend to heal the little guy. I know that sounds bad, but i just don't have $5,000 to spend on healing an animal's tongue. When do you say enough? It is a tough question. Poor dog.

Gladys

I know that some have seen this many times, but it still makes me laugh every time i see it. Check Gladys out- (thanks for the laugh, gail)

A Change in Attitude

Something inside of me changed last week when i visited school. After the farmers market, TJ and i brought jaely to visit the secretary there. Her name is kathy and she prayed so much for the arrival of a baby into our family. She loves babies. Anyway, we talked about how much i am going to miss the people at school and she said how much she is going to miss me- especially in the morning. As we were leaving she said "we will miss you this year, but you have a much more important job to do this year." As i carried Jaely out of the school, i got this huge sense of peace- like this is the right thing for me to do.

Prior to this, i was actually feeling quite uneasy about it. Would i be good? Will i go insane? Will i be one of those moms that talks in baby talk at all times? But as i left that day, my attitude changed. Just as my job at school was important and valued, so is my job this year with jaelynne. Jaely is depending on me. I feel like all of my hard work this year is going to be so worth it. Just like when i see my students in the fall grow and learn, so that by spring time they are ready to move on. I am anxious to see how jaely will grow and learn this year. I am still going to be juggling a lot of different roles and tasks, which secretly gives me a feeling of great satisfaction- i feel best about myself when i am super busy and getting lots done. I will have days full of juggling folding laundry while entertaining jaely, playing with her as i blog, feeding her during a shopping trip, paying bills while she is independently playing, carrying her while i tidy up the house. I could go on and on. I will be busy. I will have different roles. I will still be multi-tasking. I think i am going to like it!

Every school year i often set goals for myself for the year. . . not for my students, but for myself. The same will be true this year. One of my goals will be to reach out to the adults in my life- as a person with a phone phobia that is difficult, but Jaely needs a mom that is not burned out or forgot who she is (a little funky, funny, and creative). Another goal would be to not be lazy. Just like in any job, one can sit back an do the bare minimal. I don't want to do that. I want to work hard at being a mom- it is more satisfying that way. Lastly, just like during the school year, i need to remember that more importantly i am a wife, too. Not just a mom or a teacher, but a wife. I am wife to a husband who deserves my friendship, my listening ears, my energy, and my time. Jaely deserves to grow up in a home where she witnesses that.

It is going to be a good year!

Isn't This Cool?

This is what TJ has been working on lately. . . urbanscience.org. . . he designed and built the website for it. This fundraiser helps raise money for the science program at muskegon high. I love the slide show of pictures. It makes me want to go.