I probably won't make much sense. . .

but i will try to. I am struggling with writing. A little tired. Very overwhelmed, yet in a good way. Not a lot of time to collect my thoughts lately. Very grateful to God- for my family's health, for Jaelynne and her laughter, for my sexy scientist turned stay-at-home papa of a husband, for medical insurance as my ovaries are being told (by shots) to get ready to drop some eggs, for my position in third grade, for our cozy warm home filled with pitter patter of feet and smiles and tasty food.

TJ has been amazing. He has stepped up to the one who takes care of the house primarily and plans meals and makes dinners and arranges appointments and makes calls and cleans up and feeds jaely and plays with jaely and grocery shops. He has never been so attractive to me as when i see him playing with our daughter and clipping coupons. That is hot!

I had my appointment in Grand Rapids today. I called at 8:30 and they wanted to see me at 9:30. Last time TJ came to every appointment, but now that we have jaelynne i will be doing it by myself. I tried really hard to listen to directions and explanations. . . i tried not to get lost in the maze of exam rooms and consultation rooms and check out stations. I left feeling quite proud of myself. I didn't fart on the doctor (a fear of mine). I didn't get lost. My ovaries are ready to start the shots. I feel calm and at peace. . . the sense of urgency is significantly less than when we were trying with jaely. I have to remind myself that this round might not work. . . that we might have to do this all over again, but i know it will eventually work. And i am so excited by this certainty. My next appointment is next sunday. I was so so worried that it would be on the first day of school. There really is no give time. . . it is not flexible. . . when my ovaries are ready, they are ready and don't really care what else i have going on. They scheduled it for sunday, and i sighed in relief.

Right now, TJ is grocery shopping. Jaely is sound asleep in her crib (probably with her butt, errr bottom, up in the air and her legs crossed at her ankles. The sky is lighting up with each strike of lightening and the thunder is rumbling. I really just want to read, but i had better work on some school work. And so it begins!