Arg.

I guess i had my hopes up more than i thought. . . in the back of my mind i was thinking "oh, maybe i even pregnant with twins". I know, strange. Some people imagine the worst and are perpetually pseeimistic, but it is almost as though i imagine the best and get carried away with it.

So i woke up at gail's this morning, and got a sign that i am indeed not pregnant. I crawled back into bed (jaely sleeping away) and cried at the disappointment. I really wanted to have a June baby so TJ and i would have all summer home with the baby (ies???), but God has other plans. His plans worked out for Jaelynne, so i guess i should trust him with this one too.

When TJ rolled over in bed, i told him. He hugged me and we just lay in the silence in each other's arms. More doctor appointments and mood swings, shots and sub plans, bloating and dizziness, unromantic "timed intercourse" and the waiting.

If round two doesn't work than it is more test for both TJ and i. It should work. . . it will work.

Until then, i guess i will enjoy my caffeine and occasional use of illegal drugs (jk)