"Hope is the Thing with Feathers. . . "

-Emily Dickinson
It is hard for me to remain unbiased. I sure feel pregnant, but the feelings have more to do with all my shots than with the actual hormones that being pregnant releases. I even look pregnant. . . my ovaries are over stimulated by all the shots and grew huge follicles that are pushing my tummy way out. The pressure and bloattiness is even giving me heart burn. I actually feel like i am waddling and none of my clothes are fitting and i am uncomfortable. Bending down has become an obstacle. But again, i have to remind myself that that is the result of a month of shots. If i am pregnant, i won't feel it for quite some time. I won't know for awhile either.

Of course i am hopeful. . . over hopeful? Perhaps. Since this was the second round and Jaely was created on the second round, i am hopeful. Since i had four follicles that were ready to drop an egg and i had three waiting in the shadows that were so close to being mature that the nurse wanted to give me my trigger shot right there in the office, i am hopeful. Scared to death of multiples (and a wee bit excited), but hopeful.

If my optimism guides me down a path that turns out to be incorrect, i will be devastated. . . just be warned. I want this time to work. I want to have a baby before Jaelynne gets too old. . . before i get too old. I don't want to face all the shots and appointments again- for awhile anyways. We are ready (ready as can be, anyways). Honestly, it does scare us to add a human to the mix of our chaos, financial situation, and exhaustion, but at the same time, it just seems right.

I won't know for awhile, which means you won't know for even longer. But, please pray. . . if you are the praying type. And if my optimism is leading me incorrectly, pray for my response and reaction. I will need it.