Wow- a Heartbeat!

I still can't stop thinking about it. . . how this tiny 6 millimeter life in me has a heart that beats. At first we saw the baby and the heart flash on the screen, and then seconds later the doctor turned the speakers on and there it was . . .a heartbeat- oddly strong for its tiny state. With each steady beat it was saying "I'm here. I'm strong. . . I'm here. I'm strong. . I'm here. I'm strong." It was the sweetest sound to my ears and i am so thankful TJ was there to hear it too. I smiled when i saw the fuzzy picture of the little being, and i teared up when i heard its tiny heart beat so strongly. Not even five weeks ago did this exist. . . and now it has a heart beat!

With Jaely, i was considered a normal pregnancy after the heartbeat was heard and was shipped off to my OB doctor as soon as we heard the heart beat. Not this time. They want to keep me for awhile and for that i am glad. I have quite a large cyst that seems to be growing just a little instead of shrinking and it is causing me some pain, but not all the time. My other cysts on my other side is shrinking. The doctor also said that because of the "circumstances around my pregnancy" (having a regular period) he would like to continue seeing me. He calls it "circumstances," i call it a miracle. At first my bleeding was referred to as implantation bleeding, which happens to some, but mine was not that. I know it wasn't. The second time it was referred to as a period. His cautiousness makes me cautious. . . but i am still very excited.

Sometimes i think the word 'miracle' has lost some of its power or has been taken for granted. Growing a human being is truly a miracle. Reading about all the science behind it proves to me what a miracle it is. Cells dividing and already being designated as a lung cell or a mouth cell at such an early time is a miracle. I am so blessed that i get to be apart of this miracle.

I am PREGNANT!

So, i am pregnant. It still feels so weird writing that. I am six weeks along, but have only known for a week. It is actually harder for me to grasp than it was with jaely because with jaely i was expecting a yes or a no, but with this one, i already had my answer. And it was no. I had a period. The doctor called it implantation bleeding, but i am still calling it a period. It, without going into much gross detail, was a heavy flowing, yucky five days of a period

Either way, God's timing is amazing. And because of the circumstances, His greatness is seen even more. Looking back His fingerprints are all over my decisions and the events that took place. I cancelled an HSG test because i was tired and didn't want to be away from my students for three out of five days. The nurse later told me it was good i didn't get that test done- wouldn't have been good for the pregnancy. I had some friends over two weeks ago for scrap booking. We had mexican food and i was so bummed when i discovered that the Margarita mix had expired. So, i settled on a mountain dew. I did take some cold medicine, but there is nothing i can do about that now. We made this baby on the very date that my mom passed away. One life ends and another begins. Our due date is/was my granna's birthday.

It was a little odd to find out when TJ was out of town. I am glad gail was here so i could celebrate with someone close. TJ was with no one he knew.

I am ecstatic (and exhausted) about this .23 cm little baby growing in me. I cannot wait to hear the heartbeat and know that it is indeed a healthy pregnancy. I will hopefully hear it Wednesday.

What a wonderful gift that i am able to experience. Now, i must go to bed. . . i am growing a human after all!