I Felt the Baby Move!

I felt the baby move for the first time last night. There is nothing like it. I just stayed still on the couch and waited and thought. It is amazing how much we love this baby already. It is an awesome love. . .one that is not based on choices or decisions that this child will make. It is not based on personality or preferences. We love him/her just because she/he is a gift from God. Nothing can make us love it more or less. What an amazing love. Now i understand how my parents loved me, regardless of mistakes i made, choices i made, goals i've accomplished, and my faults.

Gardening

I know i have said it before, but i just love gardening. I love all the memories that come with it and the enjoyment that comes with it. It is overwhelming at times, like today when i went and looked at the gardens and saw more weeds everywhere. But for the most part it is so enjoyable.


My clematis vine has at least a dozen blooms on it at a time. It looks fabulous!

Birkenstocks, Greenhouses, and Pregnancy

Lately my mom has just flooded my thoughts, and although that is not a bad thing by any means, it is an emotional and fragile thing.

Friday is casual day and i had on my jeans and my blue Montague Wildcat shirt. After i got dressed and was deciding what shoes to wear, it occured to me that i could wear my blue birkenstocks. I was not always the owner of these shoes. These shoes had formed to another person's foot, but they were still comfortable to me. These blue birkenstocks belonged to my mom. She LOVED them. When she passed away it was one of the many things i gathered. We had the same shoe size and she had good taste in shoes. I would put them on with a smile on my face as i remembered her and i always made sure my toe nails were polished. On Friday when i went to put them on, they didn't fit. My feet have grown a full size since i was pregnant with Jaelynne. I was so incredibly bummed. For a couple days they sat by the bench at the foot of our bed. I wasn't sure what to do with them. Right now, they sit in the trash in our bedroom. Sad.

We visited one of our favorite greenhouses in Allendale this morning. I am never prepared for this experience. I always get tears in my eyes as i remember going many times a season with my mom. I would help her pick out flowers, go fetch the alysum or the lobelia or the pink impatience, and help her load everything into the car. When we got home, we had a big planting celebration. Perinnials were the most exciting to buy. These were big decisions that required my opinion because they would be around for a long time. Today, i still find myself looking for the same flowers and wanting the same ones my mom had. TJ is always drawn to other ones as well, and i am just never sure of them. Thankfully, my mom had a pretty broad range of flowers. I missed her so much as i went up and down those aisles looking for a good combination to plant in a huge ceramic blue pot. She would love our gardens and the ability to exchange plants.

And then there is the 16 weeks pregnant thing. What pregnant girl doesn't want her mom around? What girl doesn't want her children to know her mom. I look at jaely often and think how much my mom would have loved her and i can just picture how excited my mom would be at being a grandma again.

Gardening

Today, for Mother's Day, i spent close to four hours in the garden soaking up the sunshine while i weeded. It was the most perfect day. It started with Jaelynne in the morning. We made a quick trip to target and then spent the rest of the morning outside playing. I came in and gave her lunch. Then played with her inside until her nap. As soon as TJ got home, i raced outside to begin weeding. It was perfect. No bugs, not too hot, and very sunny! I worked as my ipod jammed my favorite tunes. After working out in the yard, i am so incredibly sore. TJ made grilled steak and grilled veggies for dinner. . . my favorite.

I should correct essays, but i just can't. I need to go to bed soon!
The bleeding hearts are getting HUGE! This picture is a little past its prime. the blooms are faded, but it still shows how large they are getting.
I weeded the lilies today. I like how little maintenance they take, their foliage, and how they cover the area.The top layer of the garden needs help. . . after all the rain last spring, there is a sink hole near the edge of it. My hens & chicks are growing in the hole fairly well, though.

My clematis is growing like crazy. This is only its second year. . . i am so excited to see all the blooms open.
The bottom garden got hit hard with the flood last spring. Many of my flowers didn't make it, but for the first time in two years, i weeded it. I found some survivors, but mourned the lost.
I think TJ put the kids' play set in the most perfect spot

Thank you Jaely and TJ for my Mother's day present. I already enjoyed swinging in it and look forward to many more moments with it.