Today I didn't eat a thing. I found it almost easier than eating and staying in points. I am such an all or nothing girl. I have been off of the plan for a little over a month. It all started when I got exhausted and sick and stopped exercising and I just couldn't get back on. I ate horribly and everything in sight. All or nothing. I guess I didn't go back to all of my old habits, like a 20 oz of Dew a day, but I went back to plenty of them.
I fasted today to remind myself that food doesn't control me. I control it. I fasted today as a reminder that I don't need food to celebrate, to help with stress, or to watch a movie with my husband. I have given it too much power lately. I can enjoy a movie with TJ without eating. I am not saying that I will never eat for those reasons again, but today, I chose not to at all. It was a great reminder. I put leftovers away without taking bites (and it was my favorite rice). I threw the food away on the boys' plates instead of picking at it. I made lunch for the family and didn't eat. Take that food! You don't control me!
Tomorrow, I will eat, but I am going to eat veggies, fruits, and lean meat and stay away from the other stuff for a bit longer. I am not strong enough for any trigger foods yet (crackers, honey nut cheerios, tortilla chips).
I can eat anything on the plan, but I need to be strong enough to limit portions and to limit points, and I am not there yet. I am tracking and exercising and hoping to turn this 13 pound gain around. I am not giving up. I am not stewing in my failure. I am looking ahead and getting excited for warmer weather and a healthier me. I feel so much better when I take care of myself, so I just got to get there.
When I look at this picture, I am reminded of how far I have come. I can do this! I will not go back to this lacking confidence, unhealthy, uncomfortable mama.
I have my eye on my goal- losing 50 pounds by June 13th. It's a hefty one, but I know I can do it!