Today I Fasted

Today I didn't eat a thing.  I found it almost easier than eating and staying in points.  I am such an all or nothing girl.  I have been off of the plan for a little over a month.  It all started when I got exhausted and sick and stopped exercising and I just couldn't get back on.  I ate horribly and everything in sight.  All or nothing.  I guess I didn't go back to all of my old habits, like a 20 oz of Dew a day, but I went back to plenty of them. 

I fasted today to remind myself that food doesn't control me.  I control it.  I fasted today as a reminder that I don't need food to celebrate, to help with stress, or to watch a movie with my husband.  I have given it too much power lately.  I can enjoy a movie with TJ without eating.  I am not saying that I will never eat for those reasons again, but today, I chose not to at all.  It was a great reminder.  I put leftovers away without taking bites (and it was my favorite rice).  I threw the food away on the boys' plates instead of picking at it.  I made lunch for the family and didn't eat.  Take that food!  You don't control me!

Tomorrow, I will eat, but I am going to eat veggies, fruits, and lean meat and stay away from the other stuff for a bit longer.  I am not strong enough for any trigger foods yet (crackers, honey nut cheerios, tortilla chips).
I can eat anything on the plan, but I need to be strong enough to limit portions and to limit points, and I am not there yet.   I am tracking and exercising and hoping to turn this 13 pound gain around.  I am not giving up.  I am not stewing in my failure.  I am looking ahead and getting excited for warmer weather and a healthier me.  I feel so much better when I take care of myself, so I just got to get there. 

When I look at this picture, I am reminded of how far I have come.  I can do this!  I will not go back to this lacking confidence, unhealthy, uncomfortable mama.

I have my eye on my goal- losing 50 pounds by June 13th.  It's a hefty one, but I know I can do it!