Man, i miss my mom

I spent a little time outside today during Jaelynne's nap. I watered the hanging baskets, the shade garden, and the back garden (except for the lower, soggy part). I filled both bird feeders with seed and suet. I was dying to weed, but knew i didn't have time. I looked at the four bright peony blooms, the pure white sweet woodruff blooms, the two huge bleeding hearts with blooms dangling from many branches, and the pink impatience. I thought of my mom.

When my mom was still living, we didn't haven't gardens yet. TJ and i were still renters of an apartment. We didn't have blogs yet either. The only one who i knew that had a blog was my brother jason. My mom loved it. She could listen to recordings of him singing on it and read about his life in San Fransisco.

If she was still living, we would have had so much fun exchanging pictures of our blooming flowers, dividing and sharing our plants, and helping each other decide where a new garden and new plants would best be planned.

And, of course, there is Jaely. Oh, Jaely. My mom would have loved spending her summers off visiting and watching her grandbaby. We went to the park yesterday. . . and i thought of my mom then. When we go to the beach, to the farmers market, on walks. . . she will be missed. But when i am out in the garden. . . it hurts the worst. I want to point out that my Hens & Chicks are huge compared to hers. I want to know what her tip is for mums and how to make them look so full in the fall, instead of lanky, like mine. I want to know what suggestions she has for the lower garden. I want her to crawl down our hallway chasing jaely and to scoop her up from her crib when she is waking up from a nap. . .my mom appreciated naps like no other. I want to the three of us to hang out on the deck together. . . play in the grass. . . go shopping.

I want to have a deadheading party with her. . . where we visit each other's gardens and talk and deadhead the blue chips, the petunias, and whatever else we see. . . and then maybe go shopping for one new plant to add to our gardens this year.

Man, i miss my mom.