Family!

Tonight Jason and Whitney are coming from San Fran to visit. Jaely is very excited to meet her uncle jason and aunt whitney. Then tomorrow aunt carol, uncle mike, jered, and maybe dad? are coming to visit jason, whitney, and jaely. I love having family over. It makes my day. Jason and whitney are staying for a couple of nights. Then next weekend Jaely is going grandma and grandpa's house. It will be her first visit there. The three of us got invited to a graduation party on that side of the state, so off we go! Grandma has a bedroom stocked full of things for Jaely to make our travels a little lighter! Exciting weekends. . .

Could have been at Camp

Every year on the tuesday after memorial day the third grade teachers take their students to camp for an extended day. I was so glad to be home with Jaely instead. Other than taking care of her, i have been weeding a little, enjoying the garden that we planted last year, filling 18 picture frames with black and white pictures, and trying to keep the house somewhat clean. It still amazes me how my days get filled. I don't know really what i do, but i do know that i stay busy.

Gorgeous Day

I love this weather. I love sitting on the deck in the sun and watching the leaves flutter in the breeze. I love feeling the sun come out from behind a cloud. And i absolutely love spending time with family and friends, eating grilled food, and holding my daughter while relaxing outside. We went to Noah's birthday party and hung out with friends and watched all the crazy little kids get dirty and have fun. Lori and Trevor came to visit. I am so glad we had visitors over this long weekend. It was wonderful just to hang out and talk and catch up. We looked at their house plan and gave out opinions and asked a ton of questions. I am so excited for them. The plan looks beautiful. They should start a blog and post pictures of the progression of the house being built. . . from the first hole dug to the last piece of furniture being moved in. Jaely's tummy is full, she had a long nap and now she can relax in her Uncle Trevor's lap. . . if it wasn't for that gas. . .Here Jaely is sucking on her aunt lori's arm. Yum! Jaely is saying goodbye to aunt lori before she heads to the birthday party. . . in her party dress!

Missing Family

Maybe it is because TJ is gone. Maybe it is because we now have a daughter. Maybe it is because i am at home all day. Whatever it is, i miss my family. So many of my friends go shopping with their sisters, hop over to their mom's for a dinner, meet their brothers for lunch during their lunch hour, hang out at grandma's for a barbecue, go fishing early in the morning with grandpa, and it is just considered a little outing. Not something they have to pack for or something they have to save up for (with current gas prices a trip across the state can be expensive). They can be spontaneous. At least weekly they have their families seeing their children grow. They can go to sporting events or all hang out on a sunday. When i grew up my grandma and aunts and cousins were so close in proximity. We could walk to my aunts to be watched while my mom ran an errand or we could go and borrow flour. We would stop there on our way home from places just to chat. i look at Jaely asleep in her swing, and i can't help but feel like we are cheating her of having wonderful relationships with her family. Sure there will be many visits, but is that enough? Would that have been enough for me when i was growing up?

I know i just go on and on. I am not looking for a solution because there really isn't one. My family is so spread out. . . moving wouldn't solve anything. And everything else about where we live is perfect. Jaely will love growing up here. I just want her to have deep relationships with her family. I want her aunts and uncles to really be a part of her life. I guess that is asking a lot.

Well, i gotta go feed her. I think i really need an outing. Because TJ is out of town my night will be the same as my day. . . the same feeding, changing, watching TJ, rocking kind of pattern with nothing to break it up. My friend offered to have a sleep over at my house tonight. . . i am thinking i should have taken her up on that. I am tired. Haven't talked much to people today. Maybe after i feed her, i will run up to meijer to get a picture that is ready for our frame. This would be the perfect situation to bop over to a family member's house. . . only none are in bopping distance. Again, i complain. Bye.

Summer is coming!

Yesterday we visited Weesies in Montague for our hanging baskets for the porch. It was a different experience with Jaely. We couldn't get all of our flowers because with the car seat and stroller, there was scarcely room for flats of flowers. We did get all of our hanging baskets thought. Next time we might just walk around with her in the carrier and leave her stroller at home. She isn't used to it enough, so i didn't want to take a chance. Because we drove into montague, we ate at Pekidils. Yum.

Today, we are on our way to school to visit my students. They haven't all met jaelynne yet. A few did at the music program. They have a surprise for me. They all wrote me letters and told me there is a surprise. . . one person slipped and said it was cake. I will act surprised of course.

Tomorrow, TJ is on his way to Traverse City. This time he is spending the night. Yuck. I am going to be so tired by the time Friday night rolls around. And on Saturday he should probably spend all day in the garage working on the built-in.

Well, i better get going. I want to try to feed Jaely before we leave. It will be an hour early, but if i don't she will get really fussy with the kids. I don't think they need a lesson on nursing.

Anticipating Mother's Day

The last few mother's days have not been the greatest. They were full of the pain of missing my mom and not being a mom after trying so hard. This year i am excited. It will still be bittersweet. This is the first mothers day without my granna. I miss her giggle. i always think it is neat to get the generations of mothers together. One year we went to a brunch with my mom and my granna. I wish we could do that again, only this time with jaely. I wish my mom could watch me be a mom.

I think of my dad and my aunt, as this is their first year without their mom. I am sure that they have thought about her and missed her everyday, but mother's day can make it especially hard.

I am so lucky to be a mom. I have wanted to for so long. It has been challenging, yet so rewarding. I feel like i have so much to learn, yet that i have learned so much.

I think of how blessed i am that gail is in my life as a mom, too. And now a grandma. I am thankful for how she raised her son with such an amazing heart, awesome work ethic, unconditional love, and hugs.

I am thankful for all the "i love yous" that are freely expressed with the moms that have been a part of my life. Some families rarely speak those words.

Tomorrow is a special day. TJ is making me mac and cheese, but not just ordinary mac and cheese (i have been craving mac and cheese ever since i left the hospital- they had the best baked mac and cheese). This mac and cheese has asparagus and ham. It has white cheddar cheese, Gruyere, and , of course, a lot of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. YUM! I cannot wait.

Last night was much needed. I only got one page done in my scrapbook, but the conversation and company was great. Jealy gave TJ quite the fussiness. All my friends didn't even notice it. They said it was like white noise to them. They also said that there children fussed and cried for like three hours every night. We will see if jaely makes this a habit or if it is an occasional event.

Here are some pictures of my very attractive friends from last night. . .

Friends

Today five friends are coming over to scrapbook. We have dinner, chat, and maybe get some scrapbooking done. It is at my house this month because i need to be around jaely to feed her. I could go to another house, but then i wouldn't be able to stay for very long. TJ has kindly offered to be on jaely duty while the girls and i talk and scrapbook. I am looking forward to some adult interaction and seeing my friends again. I used to see them every day at work, but it has been awhile. I can't wait!