Thursday, January 22, 2009


TJ is in traverse city. When he is away i cannot help but be reminded of what a wonderful team we make. I have really noticed it in the last 10 months as we care for our little one, but i knew of it even as we were dating. We each give our 100 percent to our marriage and then when 100 percent isn't enough the other person's 100 percent covers it. TJ has never been one to think that woman have certain jobs and that men have certain jobs. If anything, i have been more like that. . . just assuming he would mow the grass and shovel. But he has never assumed that i would vacuum or cook, iron or do laundry. We just do what needs to be done.

When it comes to jaely the same is true, although we did kind of divy up "the jobs". He has night duty, which means he gives her the last bottle, and puts her to bed. He is then up if she is up until about 11, when he goes to bed. He cherishes putting her to bed, and at times she makes it difficult on him.

Sometimes i feel like the "default parent." But i am the one who is with her all day. I am going to miss that so very much next year. I have come to the point where i really cannot think about it. I am definitely going back to work. TJ is either staying home all day or going half time. We are trying to make a decision by the end of this month. Yikes!

So today, since i was missing my teammate, i decided to make the best of it. I got up, played with jaely, gave her a bath and then put her down for a nap. At that time, i showered did my hair and make-up and got dressed (this is extremely rare). We went to grand haven to go shopping for TJ's birthday gift. Then we came home. I fed her, played with her and put her down for a nap. Then it was off to the Bean's for a time to hang out and catch up with other couples/families. We got back late. It was up to me to put jaely to bed. As i am making her bottle, she is looking at me like "my papa is supposed to be doing this. . . what are you doing?" I am exhausted- one person carries jaely, while the other gets the diaper bag- when we are at a friend's house one person holds jaely while the other one gets their shoes on- if we get home late, one person gets her undressed while ther other person makes the bottle- one person gets her bath ready while the other person gets her ready- one person puts the carseat and diaper bag away while the other person changes her diaper- one person washes out the bottle while the other person reads her a story- one person gets her into the carseat while the other person starts the car- one person puts her left shoe on and one person puts her right shoe on. . . . i could go on and on. Of course, some of this is different if it is during the day on a weekday, but knowing i have down time at the end of the day makes it all pssible.

He was missed in a lot of little ways this evening and as i try to fall asleep, he will be missed in a big way.

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