I am Doing Okay.

I just can't seem to figure life's rhythm out right now. I can't find my groove, and when i think i found it in one area, i am either being mediocre as a teacher, a wife or a mom. Sometimes, i am not even mediocre. I am tired. I have a lot of guilt. I should be grading papers. I should be playing more with Camryn. I should be reading to her every day. I should be getting the house clean. I should be dancing with Jaely. I should be cleaning up from dinner. I should be a better listener to TJ. I should have more patience for my students.

I feel like i am going non-stop. Grading papers with one hand while pumping in my classroom with the other. Folding laundry while kind of playing with Cami as she lays on our bed. Laying out clothes for the next day while carrying Camryn around. Blogging while kind of playing with Camryn next to me. Nursing Camryn while asking Jaely about her day. Listening to TJ tell me about his day as i play with jaely. No one is getting my undivided attention, and it is driving me nuts.

Right now, i am just so tired so nothing is making sense. In a few more minutes i can put camryn down for the night and then i am down for the night. Well, i have to wake in a couple of hours to pump. I just need sleep. I didn't realize how important sleep can be for me. I eat worse when i am exhausted. I have no patience. I get overwhelmed.

I am so glad it is the weekend. At nap time tomorrow, do i clean the house or do i do a tad of scrap booking? Or maybe take a nap. Or grade the mound of papers i have. Or go on a family outing.