Anticipating Mother's Day

The last few mother's days have not been the greatest. They were full of the pain of missing my mom and not being a mom after trying so hard. This year i am excited. It will still be bittersweet. This is the first mothers day without my granna. I miss her giggle. i always think it is neat to get the generations of mothers together. One year we went to a brunch with my mom and my granna. I wish we could do that again, only this time with jaely. I wish my mom could watch me be a mom.

I think of my dad and my aunt, as this is their first year without their mom. I am sure that they have thought about her and missed her everyday, but mother's day can make it especially hard.

I am so lucky to be a mom. I have wanted to for so long. It has been challenging, yet so rewarding. I feel like i have so much to learn, yet that i have learned so much.

I think of how blessed i am that gail is in my life as a mom, too. And now a grandma. I am thankful for how she raised her son with such an amazing heart, awesome work ethic, unconditional love, and hugs.

I am thankful for all the "i love yous" that are freely expressed with the moms that have been a part of my life. Some families rarely speak those words.

Tomorrow is a special day. TJ is making me mac and cheese, but not just ordinary mac and cheese (i have been craving mac and cheese ever since i left the hospital- they had the best baked mac and cheese). This mac and cheese has asparagus and ham. It has white cheddar cheese, Gruyere, and , of course, a lot of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. YUM! I cannot wait.