Thinking Outside the Box. . .

is not a strength of mine. So, my head hurts trying to. The gears have been going non-stop for two days, and i know i should stop, but i cannot.


In January, TJ and i were going to make a decision about him staying home next year to take care of Jaely. It is not looking good, but it has to work some how. We want it to.

We met for lunch today at City Cafe (i had a coupon, but we still didn't really have money for it). It was nice to meet TJ and see him in the middle of the day and Jaely loved it.

We are trying to brainstorm ways for it to be possible for him to stay home. . .

He thought of staying home next year to watch Jaely and maybe other people's kids. He said that would be ideal. He LOVES kids and would get to stay home with Jaely and we would have some other money coming in. The problem: we don't really know anyone looking for a trusting place to take their child for the day. And we don't really know how all the details work.

We both, independently, thought of buying a cheaper smaller house. But we both dismissed that option. Besides not being a good time to sell, we love our house, feel it is perfect of us, and i feel that it was a miracle we found it when we did and for the price we did.

We both thought of one of us working part time next year. It would be easier if TJ did. I would have to find someone to share the job with me and get it approved. TJ's days are separated by hours. . . students don't know if he is there all day or not. We would still need to find day care for part of the day.

Of course we thought of some cuts we could make in our expenses, but not enough.

I could and most likely will work during the summer or i could start now and work nights and weekends. . . and not see my husband very much.

My biggest problem is in my head. I want Jaely (and our future kids) to have money to go camping, to go out to eat every once in awhile, to maybe go to Chicago for the weekend, to have cute clothes. I need to bleieve that none of that really matters.

People have always been most important in my life. Not things. Why am i having such a problem with it. I want Jaely to understand that too. That things are not important, but family and people are.

Then i think if we both did work, we could do some extra things- like finish our basement, buy the land behind our house, buy things for our kids, save for their college, save for our retirement, etc. Things might not be as stressful.

This whole time looming in the back of my mind is us planning on starting to try for a brother or sister for Jaely when she is around a year. If TJ takes a year off this will have to be put on hold. We both cannot not be working. I don't have enough sick days to get paid maternity leave, so we would have no money coming in.

I know and understand that these decisions are not unique to us, but right now it is what is on our minds.

. . . and during all these thoughts, headaches, decisions, and discussions i look down at Jaely's face and realize that almost 8 months has flashed before my eyes. I want to savor these moments with her. She is growing up so quickly.

Prayers would be appreciated during all of these decisions and problem solving possibilities. :)