Intervention

For the last five weeks, i have spent a lot of time on the couch. That is just what you do with a newborn, whether i am nursing her 7 times around the clock or trying to calm her down so she can go to sleep or snuggle with her or playing with her. It all seems to be done in the living room.

The nice thing is that we have a DVR, so i can watch anything i want at anytime i want. I caught up on Grey's Anatomy by watching it at 3 in the morning while feeding Cami. I can pause it while we go change her diaper or stop it only to resume later when we both are ready to go back to bed. When she is this little, we watch TV. As soon as she becomes aware of it, it goes off until she is about 2. . . or when Jae is watching it. Yikes!

My latest show that i am watching is Intervention. Such sad stories. . . unbelievable at times. The person's past is often talked about as being normal, yet presently they are so out of control. I have cried during this show, i have had my jaw drop, and i have wondered. One reason i am so enthralled with the show is that i have never done drugs myself. I cannot believe what the drugs do to the people and to their families. I can't imagine losing custody of Jaely and Cami because i chose drugs over my children. I am not judging. It could happen to anyone. It could happen to Jaely. It could happen to Camryn. I pray daily it doesn't.

Like i said previously, i am watching this while taking care of Camryn. I cannot tell you how emotional it is to watch people go through such horrors while staring at your 5 week old daughter, while caressing her cheek, or feeling her fuzzy head. I have found myself praying continuously for our girls as i watch this show. Praying that they may have a deep relationship with God, praying for their decisions in life, knowing that ultimately it is their decisions. . .not mine or TJ's. Praying for their hearts. I have to trust that as we bring them up, we are instilling enough good in them so that eventually we can set them free and they make the right decisions for them.

It is so difficult to look at a five week old or a two year old and think about them one day being picked on, hurt, disappointed, or lied to, but i know they both will be (they will probably even do it to each other occasionally). I hope and pray that in the end they have the confidence, the role models and the relationships to guide them.

Spending time in the living room also makes me reminisce over past Christmases as our Christmas tree shines brightly. I think a lot about my mom. I now have a better grasp of her love for me and my brothers. I wish i could talk to her about it. Ask her how it felt when she knew we were getting picked on, or when we didn't make the team, or when we made bad choices. Ask her what she thought as she held her tiny babies. We could talk about that deep love that exists between a mother and child. I could ask her when i stopped believing in Santa, what she told us when we asked how santa got in our house without a fireplace, and when did she get a chance to Christmas shopping without her three kids. This Christmas is a celebration, of course. A celebration of Jesus. A celebration of family. . . with a new addition this year. :) Yet at the same time, it is a time to remember GG. . . it will be our first Christmas without her. It already feels weird. And i know how gail must be feeling. I have been there. I am not sure if it gets easier around this time of year. We will remember Grandma Shirley & Grandpa Bud opening packages so slowly you wanted to go up to him and tear the paper right off his presents. We will remember Grandpa Howell. . . he would have loved to meet his great grandchildren. I will remember my mom especially. . . how truly excited she would become as her kids gathered around her at Christmas, coming home to visit. She would greet us with a kiss a hug and a dance around the kitchen as she wore a long velour robe. I remember helping make Christmas cookies and wrapping presents. I remember decorating the christmas tree all by myself and having to hang the homemade ornaments in the back of tree. I remember untying a candy cane a day off of the homemade things that hung from the cupboard. I remember setting up the tiny nativity scene in my bedroom and putting the candles in all the windows and hanging the stocking from the bookcase on our angel, snowman, or santa clause stocking hangers. I remember after opening presents we would have Chrisrmas brunch. . . my mom would plan such a menu. I remember my mom having to make coffee before the opening of presents could begin. I remember her themes, her laugh, her excitement, her cooking and her nagging.

We will remember the past and celebrate the present as we pray for the future. May God protect the hearts of our Camryn and Jaelynne.

Nine Amazing Years

This weekend, Gail came to watch Jaelynne while TJ and i got a little anniversary getaway. We left Friday for Grand Rapids. I wanted to stay close because i am 37 weeks pregnant. We ate a most delicious meal at Twisted Rooster. TJ drank good beer, we both enjoyed a steak- mine came with unbelievable garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus. Then we both enjoyed a brownie stuffed with ice cream. I just a tiny bit. Once at the beautiful JW marriot, i went into the soaking tub. I couldn't wait! I fell asleep in there and luckily did not drown.

Sleeping in was the best. We BOTH got to sleep in. . . even though we were both awake at 7:30 (that is what parenthood does to you) we could lounge around. It was wonderful.

Who would think that the little bit of cream that was in my mashed potatoes would make the next day quite miserable for me? I was not happy. We had a day of shopping ahead of us. . . i don't know how many crackers i ate and how many restrooms i visited. . . all because of some mashed potatoes. I was pissed.

Meanwhile, back at home, Jaely and nammy were having fun with the train at the bookstore, making and baking cookies, going to McDonald's playland, and getting a bath. TJ and i had to come home on Saturday night because he had previous commitments at church. When we came home, Jaely still wanted Nammy to do everything with her. It was adorable "no. stop. Nammy."

Gail hung out today, and i got a lot done while the bug and her played outside. They went for a walk, played on the play set, pulled the wagon, and rode her tricycle.

I am so in love with the man i married. He had me laughing the whole weekend. It was great to relax together, to think of how our near future is about to change drastically, to talk without having to also entertain a 2 year old, to eat out and shop with just each other as we wandered around in no rush.

TJ never ceases to amaze me. He has been wonderful during this pregnancy (well, the whole marriage, really!). He takes such good care of his girls, makes me laugh, loves me no matter what i look like, lets me love him back, respects me, encourages me, has such an amazing heart, and listens.

I love you babe!

34 Weeks!

I should have stood more to the side for a true side profile. . . this picture doesn't do my belly justice.

Wow- 34 weeks already! I feel just as big as the night i had Jaelynne. My heartburn is constant and my arms keep falling asleep at night. My belly button might betray me this pregnancy. The edges are slowly starting to protrude. I am exhausted.

BUT. . . i am just so excited to meet this little one. I love when she gets hiccups. I love when she moves and flips and kicks and elbows me. I love to think about what she is going to look like. How much hair is she going to have? What color will it be? Will her fingers look really long? Will she be chunky?

Jaely wants to name the baby "baby." She knows where her sister is and she knows she is going to have to share, but i know she is in for a HUGE surprise. . . and i know we are too!

I have a lot to do at work yet to get ready for my leave. Paperwork, sub plans, letter to the board and superintendent, notes about how my classroom works. . .

I have a lot to do at home. Clean the binkies, breast pump, and bottles. We need a new monitor and diaper pail.

TJ has been unbelievably helpful. I don't know what i would do without such a loving husband you takes initiative and does things he knows needs doing.

Kind of a Crappy Week

It was a busy week back to school. It started with me having the stomach flu. . . throwing up while almost 7 months pregnant is not fun. And throwing up while trying to be mom to a two year old makes it even worse. But i survived, with the help of my husband. I don't feel ready for the school year, but it will be okay. My group this year seems like a good one. . . we will see. Ask me in a month and i can give you an honest opinion! Sometime this weekend i need to go into school to plan for the week.

TJ's grandma is not doing well this week either. I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that i carry with me everywhere. I want her to be comfortable and i think of gail, Scott and Deb often. I pray and wonder and pray some more. I love that woman.

We went to Grand Rapids today. At our first stop, Jaely fell and chipped her tooth big time. She split her lip and blood gushed from her mouth. Her lip is very swollen and she won't let either of us get close enough to look closely. We called her doctor and he did put us at ease. Basically, we have to watch and give it some time. A pediatric dentist ($$$$) might be in our near future.

Dreading Night Time

I used to be such a good sleeper. I could sleep for 12 hours non-stop with no problem. Lately, i have been dreading night time. Right now it is 3:30. I have been up since 2:00. My mind is ready to sleep. . . it is turned off, just waiting to be completely asleep. It is my body that won't let me. I am so sick of sleeping with four pillows (two under my head, one between my knees and one under my belly). I am sick of only having two sleeping positions- on my left side or on my right side. I am sick of turning over in bed and having to fling the covers off of me to get the pillows situated after i turn to my other side. I am sick of it taking so much energy to just flip over in bed.

But what i am REALLY tired of is the itching. I think i have four different rashes/skin conditions going on right now. I go to the doctors Tuesday and i was hoping i could make it till then. Ever since camping, i have heat rash under my arms and in my inner thigh. That is the easiest to find relief for. . . cortizone. On the top of my hands i have the itchiest little bumps. . . that have since moved from the tops of my hands to my wrists to my palms and then to the sides of my fingers. I cannot stand itchy palms. Caladryl (sp?) lotion works for a bit, but an ice pack works the best.

I won't go in to the different itching i have on my stomach, my boobs, or my elbows. The bathroom is filled with lotions that bring some relief for some, but don't touch the others.

A couple nights ago i took a Benedryl. I am allowed to during pregnancy, but i try to limit medication i put in my body. That night, i slept so well. I didn't wake up during the night with such intense itchiness. I wasn't conscious of rolling over repeatedly and having to adjust my pillows. The ice packs stayed in the freezer and the couch didn't get my usual middle of the night visit. It was wonderful. But i also didn't hear TJ get up or Jaelynne. I was OUT! I should have taken another one last night. . . it is too late now. I would ruin my whole Saturday by being in a sleepy trance. Although, it looks like i may be anyway. . . going on two hours now.

I should chop all my nails off, then maybe the itching won't be so satisfying as i am doing it but so horrible once i stop.

I don't know when the next night time will be when i sleep soundly. After pregnancy there won't be any relief, but i look forward to a year from now when i don't dread night time, but rather look forward to it.

Bye Summer!

Sunshine. Waves. Beaches. Sunscreen. Bug Spray. Leland. Leelanau Peninsula. Family. Sailing. Lake Michigan. Duck Lake. Pools. Sun Sets. Camping. Outhouse. Campfires. Fresh Air. Zoos. Polar Bears. Goats. Petting Farm. Penguins. Lions. Late Nights. Ice Cream. Pontoon Boat. Speed Boat. Crystal Lake. Orange Drink. Glucose Tests. Third Trimester. It's A Girl! Family Reunion. Play set. Parks. Slides. Swings. Shopping. Our Camper. Heat Rash. Heart burn. Afternoon Naps. Eating outside. Watering Plants. Food Poisoning. Green Toenails. Rocks. Purple Toenails. "Dampa." Pictures. Sand/water Table. Bubbles. Sprinklers. Buckets. Petosky Stone. Lake Charlevoix. Ball Tent. Trampoline. Sun-streaked Hair. Suntan. Balls. Ummi Zoomi. Walks in parks. Walks on the beach. Walks in the breeze. Wheelbarrow. Reading. Scrapbooking. Parade. Firetrucks. Pekidills. Picnics. Summer Rain. Sidewalk Chalk. Tank Tops. Air Conditioning. Stars. Swollen Ankles. Chrysalis. Spider Webs. Sunglasses. Airplanes. Jet. Sand Dunes. Frogs. Yellow Floaty. Smiles. Giggles. Excitement. Pure Joy. Friends. Car Naps. Driving. Miles. Black Flies. Horse Flies. Variety Pack Cereal. Nap Diapers. Potty Sticker. Skipping. Sandy Raisins. Wheels on the Bus. The Mixed-Up Chameleon. Hush. Petting Annie. Molars. Missed Naps. Birthday Gathering. Yummy Food. Missing Family. Sandals. Bathing Suits. Petunias. Baccopa. Potato Vines. Cherry Icee Drink. Apple Juice. Sleeping past 5:15. Michigan Rocking Chair. Pond. Talking to Frogs. Izzy. Ricky. Wagon Rides. Play Kitchen. Grilled Veggies.

Family Picnic

I don't get to see my mom's side of the family very often, so when i got an invitation to a family BBQ, i planned on going. It was great to see aunts, uncles and cousins. I haven't seen them in awhile. . . there were people i hadn't seen in over 10 years. The weather didn't start out the best, but the sun came up towards the end. We had to leave a little early because Jaely needed to get some sleep. As it was, she still didn't get to sleep before 9:30- two hours after her bed time. I am so glad we went though. Oh, and did i mention the cheesy potatoes, pasta a la caprese, texas sheet cake, ribs. . . .yum!
Jaelynne putting her beloved stick in Jered's pocket
Evelyn. . . my cousin's daughter who is about 6 months younger than Jaely.
Jaely stuck her beloved stick in the cone
Evelyn showing jaely her camera and jaely showing evelyn her stick

My mom's sisters and brother

They are hilarious!

Victor & Johnny

The girl cousins

The girl cousins and kids

Jaely loves being an airplane!

The whole group!

27 Weeks!

Pasta A La Caprese

I made this last week. I followed my mom's recipe that my brother framed for me after she passed away. So special. The recipe. The memories. The thought. My mom used to have me remove the seeds of the tomatoes under cold water. She said it hurt her hands too much. Now that i am 32, i understand what she meant. Although i wouldn't go so far as to say my hands hurt, they definitely weren't comfortable.
One of my favorite things about this dish is the leftovers. They might even be better than when you first make it. I also like that following the recipe doesn't give you my mom's pasta a la caprese. You had to make it with her to know that she used dry basil and jarred sweet peppers, instead of fresh. I used a little fresh basil this time and a little dried. I remember her trying to figure out how to keep the mozzarella from clumping together.
I would have loved to have her sitting across the table from me, TJ, and jaely and eat with us. I would have loved to chop the tomatoes for her while she minced the garlic. I would have loved for her to watch her granddaughter put her finger in the hole of the mostaccholli before eating it and giggling at this discovery.
The leftovers are gone. . . i think i need to make more.

24 Weeks

I love being pregnant. I love the kicking, the wonderment, the miracle of it all. This pregnancy has been quite different. In fact, if it were still during the time when they could not tell the sex of the baby, i would think it was a boy because of all these differences. I am so so tired. I know that this pregnancy is different because i am running after Jaely, but i am still so tired. I still cannot stand the thought of food in the evening. I make myself eat dinner because i know i should eat, but i rarely enjoy it and never feel good after it. There are still certain things that are not allowed to be made in my presence. TJ plans on making them the moment he hears i won't be home for dinner- pizza, spaghetti, tacos, lasagna. I also have consumed more Tums than i did when i was pregnant with jaely. One normally does the trick, but it is one after almost any time i eat, including a snack. I feel better in the morning, than in the evening. My skin is also different with the pregnancy. When pregnant with Jaelynne, what acne i had immediately cleared up and stayed clear. Not the case with this one. I have at least one major zit on me at all times. Yuck.

I am feeling really good. Time seems to be going so quickly. Not being able to decide on a name is driving me crazy. We have our favorites, but our favorites change daily from a list of four. Thankfully, TJ and i agree on the list of four. I am almost to the point of telling other people so they can help us decide, but then again, that could certainly add to the indecisiveness if everyone likes a different one.

My ankles haven't been swelling up like they did at the end of school. The heat, and packing up my room and standing a lot did not do well for my ankles. Lazy summers in air conditioning and drinking lots of water have helped immensely.

Jaely gives her sister lots of kisses and every name we use, she points to the baby. I would like to start getting the nursery more ready for Ollietta, but nap times are kind of crazy for jaely. I would like to move Jaely's clothes into her dresser in her room and get the 0-3 month clothes from downstairs. The only problem- jaely empties her dresser during naps and tries to dress herself and all of her friends 9stuffed animals) in various clothing. Moving more of her clothes in there would make things worse. Right now, there are only a few pairs of pants, a couple shirts and pjs.

I need to feel ready before school starts because once school starts, i am going to be way more tired and busy. And i thought i didn't have any energy now. . .

A Family of Four

Ollietta is due in exactly four months!! We are so so excited and filled with anticipation. We are excited to see what she is going to look like. Will she be born with thick hair? Will she have big feet and long fingers?

I am so excited to see Jaely be a big sister. The other day while working the nursery at church, a baby came in. I put him down in his car seat. Jaely came right over and put the binky in his mouth and said "rocka, rocka" as she rocked him gently in his car seat. It was absolutely adorable to watch her be such a nurturer. I know that won't always be the case, but i think it will be like that many times. When i think of how many times i sat down to nurse jaely and didn't have the boppy or needed a diaper or a burp rag. . . now jaely will be able to fetch those things, and probably be really excited to do it. She is such a helper when she wants to be. Hopefully the jealousy thing won't last too long.

All the Chapple girl cousins didn't have sisters and our mothers were so close. I am so glad Jaelynne will have a sister. I don't know how we will handle two kids, but people do it all the time, so i know we will be okay.

As i write this, i can feel Ollietta move around. It is the best feeling ever! Four more months. . .

Race in May

I know it was back in May, but i just had to share some of these pictures that i recently got through e-mail. It was a frigid day in May. . .we had to find our winter jackets again. My brother was running in the river run in GR and my dad, my aunt & uncle and the Ellis family went to support him. I admire my big brother so much for his determination and hard work. I could NEVER do what he did. Jaely wasn't quite herself all day. . . i think it was the cold, the crowds, and the unfamiliar place, but by the end she warmed up a bit to family.

This picture cracks me up. . . what an expression on each of their faces.

The Runner

Father and Son

we went out to eat afterward, and Jaely was definitely her entertaining self.

Fulfilling a Teaching Requirement

I am leaving tomorrow night for Lansing. . . I will be gone for a week. In order to get my teaching certificate renewed i need to take classes. I just have three credits left to get before next June and after next week, i will have satisfied that requirement. I wanted to get it done before having our second child. . . i am imagining a pretty crazy life at that point. I am going to miss home, miss TJ, and miss Jaely so incredibly much. I am staying at a hotel with a friend, so that should help keep my mind off of things for a bit, but not enough.

I am going to miss TJ's kisses and Jaely's giggles. Hopefully Jae will talk to me on the phone. . . sometimes she is just not in the mood for such silliness.

Vivid Dreams

I had forgotten what amazing dreams i have when i am pregnant. They are so vivid- so real. One time i woke up and thought "i could make that into a movie" because it was so suspenseful. Not scary, just exciting.

Last night, i dreamed i was gardening with my mom. It was absolutely am amazing. I could swear i smelled the dirt i was digging in and the smoke from her cigarette. At first, it was just George and i awaiting my mom's return home. Sometimes she comes back in my dreams, but most of the time she doesn't. Most of the time she is away on vacation or she has moved or she is lost. . . but last night she did return.

We were planting perinnials by the stumps in the big garden. The hens & chicks were there and the bee balm. We were adding blue chips and coneflowers. What i loved about my dream is that my mom wasn't just the good qualities that i remember (i often ignore the things that drove me nuts about her) it was Lynne- the complete package. She was awesome and laughed a lot, but she also kept nagging me to plant the flowers closer together. I got just a little snotty back at her. I remember thinking that she had hardly done any planting between standing up and directing me and smoking her cigarette. It was such a typical time. . . i miss those times.

I wasn't pregnant in my dreams. . . i wish i was. I want to have a conversation with my mom about it at least once (even if it is just in my dreams). And since she was such herself, it would have been an exciting conversation full of pink items, smiles, questions and of course nagging to visit her more. :)

I have 5 more months of vivid dreams and i hope i see my mom again real soon.

My Husband

I am so incredibly exhausted, but i just had to come on and write some thoughts. I had an amazing birthday today. TJ thought of the whole menu, sent invites to family, cooked, made my favorite cake, set out the dishes, and even cleaned up. He is amazing. And because he did all of those things, i was able to enjoy family time and watch Jaely enjoy family time.

He amazes me. Thank you, TJ for making such a special day for me and for working so hard to make it a tasty and fun day. I love you.

School is out. . . really?

I am waiting for it to sink in. The end of the year sneaked up on me. I don't know why. Maybe because the weather stayed cool for the most part. Or maybe because i was rushing around until the very end folding report cards, writing notes to each student in their third grade memory book, writing a note in their summer reading book, meeting next year's class, and refolding report cards. Maybe it sneaked up on me because this year just flew by. . . it seems to go a lot faster when you have a two year old at home.

I am just so relieved, ready to relax and spend time with Jaely. I must admit, i am a little nervous spending so much time with her. . . it has been awhile. Will i keep her busy enough? Will i be too easy? Will i break with every pout and whimper? Will i lose my patience?

And then i think of the zoo, the beach, the parks, camping, condo, visiting family, farmers markets, libraries, art fairs and i realize it will be a good summer as a family!

Amazing. . .

I just read that Baby Ellis will be born with 300 bones in its body. As he/she grows some bones will fuse together to produce a total of 206 bones by adulthood.

Unbelievable. Amazing. Our bodies are crazy and God is creative!

I Felt the Baby Move!

I felt the baby move for the first time last night. There is nothing like it. I just stayed still on the couch and waited and thought. It is amazing how much we love this baby already. It is an awesome love. . .one that is not based on choices or decisions that this child will make. It is not based on personality or preferences. We love him/her just because she/he is a gift from God. Nothing can make us love it more or less. What an amazing love. Now i understand how my parents loved me, regardless of mistakes i made, choices i made, goals i've accomplished, and my faults.

Gardening

I know i have said it before, but i just love gardening. I love all the memories that come with it and the enjoyment that comes with it. It is overwhelming at times, like today when i went and looked at the gardens and saw more weeds everywhere. But for the most part it is so enjoyable.


My clematis vine has at least a dozen blooms on it at a time. It looks fabulous!

Birkenstocks, Greenhouses, and Pregnancy

Lately my mom has just flooded my thoughts, and although that is not a bad thing by any means, it is an emotional and fragile thing.

Friday is casual day and i had on my jeans and my blue Montague Wildcat shirt. After i got dressed and was deciding what shoes to wear, it occured to me that i could wear my blue birkenstocks. I was not always the owner of these shoes. These shoes had formed to another person's foot, but they were still comfortable to me. These blue birkenstocks belonged to my mom. She LOVED them. When she passed away it was one of the many things i gathered. We had the same shoe size and she had good taste in shoes. I would put them on with a smile on my face as i remembered her and i always made sure my toe nails were polished. On Friday when i went to put them on, they didn't fit. My feet have grown a full size since i was pregnant with Jaelynne. I was so incredibly bummed. For a couple days they sat by the bench at the foot of our bed. I wasn't sure what to do with them. Right now, they sit in the trash in our bedroom. Sad.

We visited one of our favorite greenhouses in Allendale this morning. I am never prepared for this experience. I always get tears in my eyes as i remember going many times a season with my mom. I would help her pick out flowers, go fetch the alysum or the lobelia or the pink impatience, and help her load everything into the car. When we got home, we had a big planting celebration. Perinnials were the most exciting to buy. These were big decisions that required my opinion because they would be around for a long time. Today, i still find myself looking for the same flowers and wanting the same ones my mom had. TJ is always drawn to other ones as well, and i am just never sure of them. Thankfully, my mom had a pretty broad range of flowers. I missed her so much as i went up and down those aisles looking for a good combination to plant in a huge ceramic blue pot. She would love our gardens and the ability to exchange plants.

And then there is the 16 weeks pregnant thing. What pregnant girl doesn't want her mom around? What girl doesn't want her children to know her mom. I look at jaely often and think how much my mom would have loved her and i can just picture how excited my mom would be at being a grandma again.

Gardening

Today, for Mother's Day, i spent close to four hours in the garden soaking up the sunshine while i weeded. It was the most perfect day. It started with Jaelynne in the morning. We made a quick trip to target and then spent the rest of the morning outside playing. I came in and gave her lunch. Then played with her inside until her nap. As soon as TJ got home, i raced outside to begin weeding. It was perfect. No bugs, not too hot, and very sunny! I worked as my ipod jammed my favorite tunes. After working out in the yard, i am so incredibly sore. TJ made grilled steak and grilled veggies for dinner. . . my favorite.

I should correct essays, but i just can't. I need to go to bed soon!
The bleeding hearts are getting HUGE! This picture is a little past its prime. the blooms are faded, but it still shows how large they are getting.
I weeded the lilies today. I like how little maintenance they take, their foliage, and how they cover the area.The top layer of the garden needs help. . . after all the rain last spring, there is a sink hole near the edge of it. My hens & chicks are growing in the hole fairly well, though.

My clematis is growing like crazy. This is only its second year. . . i am so excited to see all the blooms open.
The bottom garden got hit hard with the flood last spring. Many of my flowers didn't make it, but for the first time in two years, i weeded it. I found some survivors, but mourned the lost.
I think TJ put the kids' play set in the most perfect spot

Thank you Jaely and TJ for my Mother's day present. I already enjoyed swinging in it and look forward to many more moments with it.

John DeBoer

Before even pulling into GVSU this morning i was emotional, having to wipe tears from my eyes much sooner than i had anticipated. John DeBoer was speaking his final sermon to over 800 people today- alumni, current students, family, staff, and professors. While making the drive to GVSU, i thought about how much of an impact John has had in my life. Going to Grand Valley was my second choice. I wanted to go to Hope, but my mom said it was far too expensive. I wanted the comfort of going to a Christian College, but God had other (much better) plans for me. At Grand Valley, i had to make a conscious choice to follow God. As a freshman, away at school trying to figure out who i wanted to be, i started attending Campus Ministry events and church. John remembered my name after the first time we met. His sense of humor is awesome, his teaching from the Bible amazing, and his care for students unbelievable. I remembered while pulling onto campus that John had traveled across the state on Valentine's day to attend my mom's funeral and offer support. . . that was long after i graduated from GVSU. An act like that means so much. Nine years ago, John married us. His John-isms like "100%/100%" and "it's a non-issue" are still heard in our house. His marriage to Sherry is incredible. He always said that couples need to be two independent trees that grow with each other, support and shade each other. I loved that Sherry did her own things, went on her own trips, but supports John 100%. A Friday a month, they would open their home to sometimes 100 college students for a mini retreat. They would grill food and feed us. We would sing songs and do a Bible study with John. Friendships were made, God was praised, and we learned more about having a relationship with God. John has an amazing way of making the Bible make sense and applicable to my life. I have never felt closer to God than i did at college. With his titanium hips and Captain Kangaroo looking face, he loved, taught, and listened to his students at GVSU. He has such a deep understanding of grace and mercy, and such an incredible way of sharing his knowledge and understanding. He was the first one to have me think of things differently. . . to sort them out for myself. Topics like abortion and capital punishment were pondered and i was able to draw the conclusion that we are not the ones to judge. God teaches us to love, not to judge or hate. He doesn't need us to judge. . . He can handle that on his own. John is the eternal optimist, the cheapest first generation Hollander i know, the guy that always wears blue dress slacks & a short sleeve button down shirts with his tennis shoes that he covered the white with permanent marker . His favorite verse, "His mercies are new every morning" has been etched in my mind, especially during rough days.
He lives in Muskegon, so we are able to get together with him now and again. As i saw over 800 people gather to celebrate John today, i was overwhelmed with how many lives John has touched. He started ministry work in 1962 and hasn't done anything but that. He has made an impact on the world as i think about how far people have settled from Grand Rapids and all the kids and babies that were there. He has affected generations. . . even Jaely will be affected by John through her parents.

Thanks, John. I don't think you will ever be fully aware of how you impacted me, TJ, and our marriage.