Silver

This time of year, i love silver. Actually, i like it all year long, but it just has a special place during the holidays. I love how it shimmers and shines without being pretentious like gold. I love how it can make something that might be otherwise dull, seem magical. Silver can dress something up, make something a little more fancier, and add that little something something that was missing.

So. . . why is it that when i see a shimmering silver hair mixed with my dark brown hair, i twinge with disgust? I hate it. I hate how the light hits a silver hair and illuminates it making it say "look at me! Look at me!" It doesn't make my dull hair seem magical, it just makes me feel old. I hate how the silver hair grows up out of my scalp in a bent and crazy way, drawing even more attention to itself. However, the hair seems to become hidden the moment i come at it with tweezers.

Arg.

Decorating the Tree

I remember decorating the tree when i was younger. I don't have many memories of when i was real little, or many of when my brothers helped decorate it. But since i am the youngest child, most of my memories are from when my older brothers were too old to help or completly moved out, but i was still around and wanted a tree decorated. I do have just a few memories of us all decorating it. My brothers and i would hang all of out homemade ornaments in the very front, knowing full well that my mom preferred them in the back. We each had our ornaments to hang up. My mom had her homemade ones that she had made out of dough. They were so incredibly heavy that they required a few branches to hang on and one to sit on. Over the years, her dough ornaments became moldy. It was so difficult to throw them away. Some of my favorites were the bubble lights. I think the old style was a fire hazard, but they looked so neat on the tree. I also liked my brothers big batman and superman ornaments. And then there were the mice made out of straw. The icicles were a favorite too, which is why i grabbed a similar set when i found them at Target last year. I remember we kept our ornaments wrapped in newspaper in an old xerox paper box. Mom would sit on the couch in her spot and delegate as she told me where to hang them and what spots still seemed bare. Our tree was always real and our tinsel was always hideous. We have had many tree toppers, but i will always remember the star that had fringes and would light up from behind.

There are some many other things we did as a family that i will always remember. It makes me wonder what Camryn and Jaelynne will remember when they are my age. We had the countdown candy cane holders that my mom made. I, of course, had an angel one and Jered was Santa Clause and Jason was a snowman. We were themed then, even for Christmas. The nails sticking out of the top of the pantry closet stayed year round. We had our red stockings with our name written in glitter. Later those would be changed to stockings that matched our theme of angel, snowman, santa and with matching stocking holders. My mom always decorated the chandelier with tinsel and little silver ornaments that would hang over our bright red table cloth, complete with red napkins in a poinsettia napkin ring. We would hang a giant stocking, one that Jered had when he was born (December 11), on the side door to our house. I don't remember our old tree skirt, but i remember the one that replace the old one. It was a big purchase for mom. I was with her and she really, really wanted it. Right now it is under our tree. It is a quilted one of angels with a dark blue starry sky as the backdrop.

I hope i have these memories for a long time. I sometimes wonder how much other stuff am i forgetting, lost forever. I can only hope that Jaely and cami are going to have lots of wonderful memories, too.

I am Done

This morning was a bittersweet morning. I had decided it would be my last morning that i would nurse Camryn. She is over a year. I was still doing it because i didn't want to be uncomfortable over Thanksgiving with all that we had going on and, even though i am glad i am done, it makes me sad. It was uninterrupted time i had to stare into her eyes, to study her tiny fingers, to count her eyelashes. Yes, there were a few times when i would catch myself with my head tilted back, eyes closed and thinking of what i had to get done that day, but most of the time, i took that precious time and took advantage of it. Camryn doesn't get undivided attention from me very often. . . and as soon as she does, if Jaelynne notices, then Jaelynne wants attention. I get it, but it gets tiring.

I also am bothered because i don't know if i will ever get to do that again. I don't know if we are having a third and if we decide to have a third, i don't know if it will be thru pregnancy or adoption. I like to know when i am doing something for the last time, or if there is only one more cookie left in the package. It is just my thing. So not knowing bothers me.

I am proud of myself- for nursing. It isn't the easiest at time, but i did it! I couldn't have done it without my encouraging husband. . . he is the best! I am not proud of myself for all the weight i have put back on. I am disgusted when my clothes aren't fitting and my beautiful winter jackets are too small. And now that i am done nursing, i will probably put even more weight on. I don't want to. I am not in the right frame of mind to do something about it. I am tired and broke. It takes energy and money to eat right, to exercise and i feel like i don't have it in me right now. Blah.

Tomorrow morning, Cami is going to be so angry with me, but she will get over it quickly. She did when i dropped the evening feeding. I will GREATLY miss the snuggles. Maybe we will have to read a book quietly together before facing the world every morning.

Some Time for Me!

Yesterday, during my planning time, i wrote out sub plans. I had a staff meeting until 5 and then worked in my room for 15 more minutes before heading out the door. I decided to take Tuesday off and i was excited! My original intention was to make a doctor's appointment for a check up and blood work for my thyroid. But, the more i thought about it, the more i just needed a whole day for me. And if we do decide to have child number three, that sick day i took off will become an unpaid leave day. . . and it was SO worth it.

I got up at 6 and got Camryn up. I fed her and got her dressed. When TJ left with the girls at 6:45, i went back to bed! It was fabulous. I rolled over at 8 and smiled. Then thought to myself, "just a little bit longer." Next thing i knew it was 9 and i finally rolled out of bed at 9:10. It was wonderful. And i was so glad that there was not a feeling of guilt or a feeling of time wasted. It was just what i needed. I haven't slept that late, at home, in over a year!

Next, it was off to do a little bit of Christmas shopping. I gave myself a time limit, and thank God i did. I was back by noon to eat lunch and then i started setting up my village. I just couldn't picture doing that with a one year old climbing around and a 3 year old wanting to help. I didn't get to set up my village last year, so it was a real treat.

Then, i set up the tree. I ran out of time to do the lights, but as soon as i get those on, Jaely is going to help me put the ornaments on. She is so excited! And we only had to tell Cami "No, miss" about the tree like ten times.

Jaelynne came home from Miss Amber's so excited. She saw the wreath hanging in the window and ran from the car screaming "Christmas! Christmas!" She was overly delighted when she walked back to her bedroom and saw her own little Christmas tree brightly shining in her room. Now, we will see if she is able to sleep with it in there!

It really was a perfect day. There is so much more i wanted to do, but i am really pleased with the amount of sleeping/working i did.

Thanksgiving

I love that my family comes together on Thanksgiving. My mom would have loved to know that even when she didn't organize Thanksgiving, we would all come together and organize the menu, the timing, and who is bringing what. Ya, she would have been disappointed in the Grand Traverse Pie Company bought pies, but they are just so good. I remember TJ and my mom making apple pies in the harvest gold/avocado green kitchen on Echo. They were delicious. I am sure once tomorrow i will have to say "put some gravy on it" in memory of my mom who often told you how to enjoy your food. And although there will be no sauteed mushrooms or insulated gravy boats, we have added new traditions.

I love having Thanksgiving at our house. What started out as a convenient thing to do since we had a three week old has turned into something that we look forward to and plan. I do miss TJ's side of the family dearly, but it is so nice not to get out of a full day of work, pack things up and drive with two kids across the state for a weekend. I think we may get some rest on this long weekend. And. . . there is always Christmas break, which is long enough to travel and relax. Cannot wait!

I haven't seen Jason and Whitney in a year. Camryn has changed so so much since the last time they saw her. I know my mom would be so proud of us not giving up on family, still making a huge effort to come together and spend time. Jason & Whitney spending money and time to come across the country, my aunt and uncle driving across the state, dad taking a day (or two) off from work, Jered picking up jason and whitney and driving them around to places, all of us bringing food or tables or drinks to our house. I find myself keeping it simple and relaxed. Although i actually feel kind of bad serving dinner on paper plates. . . i may just change my mind on that one. I figure, they are family. The house doesn't need to look perfect. Jered and TJ will be the ones in the kitchen the most, both enjoy cooking greatly. And Jason has a fairly recent new found love for baking and cooking. He is making his homemade pretzels. I will clean up. . . that is where my talent is. I did make homemade mac & cheese and a cheese ball, but that is about all i am good for.

I can't wait. I have so much i am thankful for.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

I crafted. Got out the glue gun and the paper cutter.
I had so much fun. Enjoyment. Relaxed and got lost in all the crafts.
I sure stuck with a theme. . . my mom would be proud.

InvitationsTesting out the bookmarks that the kids would make at the party

Made goodie bags, cupcakes, food tags. . .





Made Camryn's chair (TJ built it and i quickly painted it.) It isn't finished here. I added big dots, a sun and, of course, her name.


Preparing the food. . .

The decorations to hang from the ceiling and above windows.



Working on the cake.
Camryn's cupcake.


More pictures from the party!

I've Been Busy

I love planning and creating. My crafting is such an outlet for me. When my brain just needs to turn off, and i don't want to think about school anymore or think about all the house work, i slip downstairs and create.

Jaely wanted to be a butterfly, but she is such a little scientist and reads a monarch butterfly book all the time, the store bought ones were not very realistic. I found this idea online and kites are very cheap, so we tried it. Now, Jaely can act like she is flying.
The kiteI cut it up the middle and sewed it to the back of her hoodie. We have a pair of antennae and black gloves. Kind of a lame costume, but i think she will be excited about it. I should take lame and simple while i can!I have been working on Camryn's birthday stuff. I wanted it to be comparable to Jaelynne's first birthday. The only problem is now i am working full time and have two kids as opposed to being a stay- at-home mom with one. I am trying for you, girl!
A Hungry Caterpillar with her monthly photos on it. . .The invitationsA bookmark the kids are going to make at her party with their fingerprints and names. We are also going to have coloring and painting in the basement. Our basement is far from finished, but we needed more room for all the people and the Very Hungry Caterpillar just screams art activities!
We will see if i can pull this all off. I also made streamers out of tissue paper circles and my sewing machine.

I am well past tired. And i can tell by the writing. Time for me to go.

Glen Arbor

It seemed like ages ago that we ventured up to Glen Arbor for a long weekend. And the catch up that happened with our sleep quickly vanished upon our return, but it was a wonderful, beautiful, restful kind of weekend, full of complete conversations, quiet evenings and meals, soaks in the big tub, and shopping for hours at a time. The whole weekend was full of sunshine and fall colors. Our condo was up so high and on the side of a hill that when you looked out the windows, we were level with the tree tops. It was the cutest, cleanest condo.

It was so good to see my step-brother and step-sister. I am so proud of my step-brother. He always seems to have such a good head on his shoulders. It was great that i was able to watch him get married.

We rode the chairlifts up to the ceremony and so did the bride. It was beautiful. The ceremony was at the top of the ski hill overlooking Lake Michigan.





The Lodge was absolutely warm and inviting with flickering candlelight and beautiful center pieces of fall colored roses in pumpkins. TJ and i were a little surpised that we sat at table number 1 with Mike's mom, my step-sister and her husband and Mike's step-dad, but i realized that we are family and Mike doesn't have many family members on his side. George didn't come.



Married!
Back at the condo. . . i should have combed my hair before this picture!Loved, loved, loved this!


We were out and about in Traverse all day. It was FANTASTIC! This is at the Green House Cafe. Basically we ate early so we could eat a late, big dinner at Poppycocks! We like our food!
A big thank you to Lori and Gail for watching the girls and making so many memories with them. We were totally at peace knowing our girls were getting taken care of so well.