Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Swirling Feelings

After todays visit to G.R. for my doctor's appointment and shopping i feel. . .

Excited: to take the next step, to have a chance to get pregnant in the next three months, to talk to a doctor who has a personality, but also confirms that what my previous doctor did was good, to read Forever in Blue: The fourth Summer of the Sisterhood, to find a beautiful table at Isreals

Nervous: of how i am going to treat my husband, friends and students while being pumped full of hormones, of having the side affect of excessive weight gain apply to me after i have worked so hard to take it off, of giving myself shots everyday, of looking like an idiot because i already LOST the script the doctor wrote for me, of actually getting pregnant and then we will be responsible for another human being!, of getting pregnant with twins or triplets (this is exciting, too, but also something that creates nervousness in me!)

Worried: about missing so much school and having to write so many sub plans and still have my students learn what they need to learn, about finances, about timing, about actually getting pregnant and having a miscarriage, about doing my thesis in the spring/summer

Relieved: from my appointment being over, from not having to even take off an item of clothing, from meeting in his office rather than a sterile room with stirrups, from not having a plan, from finding the perfect table at Isreals when i thought there was no hope

Excited: see above. . . because this is the prominent feeling i have right now.

6 comments:

Ang said...

been thinking about you today.
I'm so glad to know it was encouraging.

we'll be praying!

I miss you. your sunday night post made me sad that i missed it :(

Anonymous said...

I love that you ended your post with the feeling of excitement. Don't worry about the shots, except for the butt shots:)

You're in good hands with the GR team, but in even better hands with the God we serve.

I want to hear all about it:)

Love, Charity

Anonymous said...

I, too, have been thinking of you today...so glad you blogged right away. I know so many people unable to feel, and you have so many feelings (and share them). You need a daughter just like mine. Love you, sweet Pea!

Anonymous said...

I am so happy that things went well. I can't wait to hear all about your exciting new plans! Isn't Dr Dodd's great?

Kelly said...

Yay Lindsay!!! I'm so excited for you! What good news! I'm still praying for you!

(That girl in Indiana you don't even know!... I'm glad I looked at your blog today!)

Anonymous said...

What happened at your doctor's appointment was the best news I've heard all month. I'm so excited for you to suddenly have hope, I've been telling people you don't even know. And what your dad said made me cry :) You are so special to so many, you are in all of our thoughts and prayers. Can't wait for the Ranch tonight!