I've Been Busy

I love planning and creating. My crafting is such an outlet for me. When my brain just needs to turn off, and i don't want to think about school anymore or think about all the house work, i slip downstairs and create.

Jaely wanted to be a butterfly, but she is such a little scientist and reads a monarch butterfly book all the time, the store bought ones were not very realistic. I found this idea online and kites are very cheap, so we tried it. Now, Jaely can act like she is flying.
The kiteI cut it up the middle and sewed it to the back of her hoodie. We have a pair of antennae and black gloves. Kind of a lame costume, but i think she will be excited about it. I should take lame and simple while i can!I have been working on Camryn's birthday stuff. I wanted it to be comparable to Jaelynne's first birthday. The only problem is now i am working full time and have two kids as opposed to being a stay- at-home mom with one. I am trying for you, girl!
A Hungry Caterpillar with her monthly photos on it. . .The invitationsA bookmark the kids are going to make at her party with their fingerprints and names. We are also going to have coloring and painting in the basement. Our basement is far from finished, but we needed more room for all the people and the Very Hungry Caterpillar just screams art activities!
We will see if i can pull this all off. I also made streamers out of tissue paper circles and my sewing machine.

I am well past tired. And i can tell by the writing. Time for me to go.

Glen Arbor

It seemed like ages ago that we ventured up to Glen Arbor for a long weekend. And the catch up that happened with our sleep quickly vanished upon our return, but it was a wonderful, beautiful, restful kind of weekend, full of complete conversations, quiet evenings and meals, soaks in the big tub, and shopping for hours at a time. The whole weekend was full of sunshine and fall colors. Our condo was up so high and on the side of a hill that when you looked out the windows, we were level with the tree tops. It was the cutest, cleanest condo.

It was so good to see my step-brother and step-sister. I am so proud of my step-brother. He always seems to have such a good head on his shoulders. It was great that i was able to watch him get married.

We rode the chairlifts up to the ceremony and so did the bride. It was beautiful. The ceremony was at the top of the ski hill overlooking Lake Michigan.





The Lodge was absolutely warm and inviting with flickering candlelight and beautiful center pieces of fall colored roses in pumpkins. TJ and i were a little surpised that we sat at table number 1 with Mike's mom, my step-sister and her husband and Mike's step-dad, but i realized that we are family and Mike doesn't have many family members on his side. George didn't come.



Married!
Back at the condo. . . i should have combed my hair before this picture!Loved, loved, loved this!


We were out and about in Traverse all day. It was FANTASTIC! This is at the Green House Cafe. Basically we ate early so we could eat a late, big dinner at Poppycocks! We like our food!
A big thank you to Lori and Gail for watching the girls and making so many memories with them. We were totally at peace knowing our girls were getting taken care of so well.

Mom

I am having a difficult day. It would have been my mom's birthday today. I am having the hardest time as i snuggle with my girl or hear them giggle. She should have been able to experience being a grandma and my girls should have been able to know her. Jaely called her Nammy tonight to tell her about trying to put her shoes over her footed monkey jammies and saying in frustration "arg. this is driving me nuts." I would have loved to hear those conversations between Jaely and my mom.

There are just so many moments that i wish she could have been a part of. . .

I miss her. Some days are harder than others. . . this just happens to be a difficult one.

Reality

This is the first full week of school and i am exhausted. I find myself on the way home from work having to dig deep to find some energy left for my girls. Today i successfully found some, but that isn't always the case. I still feel like i am waking up in the middle of the nigh when my alarm goes off at five.

It seems that i have a great group of kids. There are always a few that are going to make my job harder, but i still love it. Some kids are so neat. Some kids are so needy. Some kids are so funny. Some kids break your heart.

The word "nervous" is one of our vocabulary words for the week. We talked about what it means, we acted it out, we drew a picture that would remind us what the word means. I asked if anyone had any connections to the word "nervous." A boy raised his hand and sadly said, "i am nervous when i go to my dad's because he does drugs. He puts it into a needle thing and shoots it into his arm." Down to the counselor i went (to think TJ might hear these stories several times a day after he gets his masters). To this 8 year old, that is normal. That is his life. He has experienced things that i will never experience. That same day, his dad came to get him through the back door of our building that someone had left unlocked. His dad isn't supposed to see him, so the police were called when the dad was spotted. The child was quickly pulled from my classroom and taken away by his grandma as his dad (with a history of violence) was stalled in the hallway.

Since school started, i definitely have a heaviness put on my heart again to pray for these kids. Kids that have never been read to. Kids that don't have a mom. Kids that have had their cats put in the dryer by their step dad. Kids that have a mom in prison for stabbing someone 47 times. Kids whose parents have been going through a very messy divorce for three years. These are just the situations that i am aware of. . . it scares me to think what else is going on.

I look forward to seeing their smiles every morning. I could be the only one who reads them a book that day. I could be the only hug they get. I could be the only one who asks how they are. I could be the only one who looks them in the eye and listens when they are talking to me. My classroom could be the only place they can eat a decent breakfast. My classroom might be the few safe places they know and the most predictable place. What a HUGE amount of pressure that is.

Teaching

One more day of freedom before 29 third graders come through my classroom door. Set up for this year as been stressful to say the least, but i feel ready enough to be excited about it. I put in 10 hour days last week and this weekend trying to get my room organized and ready. I was rushed. I was stressed. But now, i am ready enough. I had to move to a different room and the building was a complete disaster as it was getting renovated. It isn't complete, but they say it is safe enough for students.

Most years as i write the students' names on their goodie bags, i pray for our relationship. I pray that I would be the teacher they need me to be. And as i stuff their goodie bags i wonder what they are like and what i will remember about them in 5 years. Not this year. I was dropping things in as quickly as i could and i was half way through with slapping on the big smiley face sticker when i realized that i wasn't even paying attention to the names on the bags. Sad start.

This year, i won't start it pregnant and exhausted. I won't be gone for 10 weeks. I won't be out of sick days and i will get paid my full amount. I won't have to pump during my planning time, but i still get to feed Camryn in the morning and at night. I will miss my girls tremendously and am scared i am going to miss too much of their daily lives. I will cherish my time with them even more on the weekends and the little bit of time before dinner and bed time. Jaely is mad at me already for working, but she will adjust. We all will.

Thank God i have a supportive, loving husband. It is going to be a busy year as he gets his masters degree and does his counseling placement. He will be working full time and working on his thesis project. We will make it. We will each give 100% and where my 100% isn't enough, his will be and when his 100% isn't enough, mine will be. Hopefully.

I hope things slow down a bit. I have a feeling they won't.

Learning

"Our Kids Are Worth What Ever It Takes" is the phrase that i have been chanting with over 200 teachers for the last four days. I have been attending a conference with about 13 other teachers from the district in which i teach. Although it is a long time to sit on my butt, especially when i am not used to sitting all day, i am getting wonderful ideas that challenge my thinking, but match my philosophy. This is the second time i have attended this conference and I am getting more from this time. I hope to apply a lot of what i am learning this year and i wanted to start doing Literacy Work Stations in my classroom. . . and i am moving to a new classroom. There is way too many new things this fall, but i am excited. I am excited to help more of my students be successful. I feel motivated and challenged. I still have four more days, so I think my mind might explode by the end. We will see!

Leelanau Peninsula

Tomorrow our family of four is leaving our house for a week as we stay at a condo on Leelanau Peninsula. We will be surrounded by beaches, family, good shopping, and historical sights. We can sit poolside in our backyard (more like be in the pool with two little ones), watch private airplanes land and take off, ride bikes, climb up the old skiing mountain, walk on sand dunes, build sand castles, ride on boats, and read a book during nap times.

All the daily chores and cares will be caste aside as we inhabit a home that is not ours. We can crank up the air, do laundry (only if we want to), grill ribs all day, see how many beaches we can hit in a day, and go out on a date. I can't vacuum or scrub toilets. No dusting or cleaning windows. I do wish i could water my hanging baskets, but i can't so they might die.

It takes a great deal of planning and packing to get our family of four to the condo prepared, but i know it is worth it. TJ is staying up late trying to get ahead on some of his assignments for his grad class. I am just up late in great anticipation of leaving tomorrow

I will be away from my computer. I am leaving it behind. I will go through withdrawal, but then i will realize just how much reading i can get done without a computer!

See you when i get back.

It is July Already?!

My days have been filled with smiles, giggles and adventures. We have been keeping busy with playing in the pools, going to an art fair, going to the beach, visiting with family, taking walks, hanging out in our pajamas all day, baking, going to the library, and shopping. Aside from the pure naughtiness that Jaelynne sometimes portrays, it is so enjoyable to hang out with my daughters. They are going to day care once or twice a week, which is awesome. Jaely gets to see her friends and i can run errands or clean the house. . . and take a nap!

I am reading a book about Literacy Work Stations that i want to try in my classroom next year, so almost every day i am armed with a highlighter, sticky notes, and a pen as i try to read my way through the book, stopping to think how i can implement some or most of the ideas into my classroom next year. . . without spending a lot more money than i already do on my classroom.

I am also trying to finish Jaely's ABC book. It seems like any free time i get, i am outside watering plants or weeding or tidying up the house. But i do enjoy those things.


Soon we will leave for vacation for a week on the Leelanau Peninsula. I am excited to relax and have a pool right in the backyard and be close to many beaches and to visit with family.

The girls are both napping now. I actually utter an audible sigh as i shut the second bedroom door and the house is quiet. . . the thought of "i made it" races through my head for an instance before i think "of course, i made it. I am good at this mom thing."

Now, for some me time. And packing. I am taking the girls with me on a little road trip to Nammy's house in hopes of leaving TJ with a quiet, undistracting setting for him to get a lot of graduate class work done.

Fathers

I have been so blessed to have my dad in my life. I know he loves me beyond words. He gives advice, but only when asked. He is intelligent, hilarious, gentle, compassionate, and so incredibly thoughtful. Because i didn't see him on a daily basis growing up, i think our relationship during my teen years may have been somewhat strained. (ha! what relationship during the teen years isn't strained?!) Neither one of us are huge talkers on the phone, but as i got older and understood this and understood him, our relationship has really grown. When i think that his own dad didn't say the words "I love you", yet i hear that from my dad all the time, i consider myself very blessed. I know he loves me. That i will never doubt. I have loved seeing him as a grandpa. He is so thoughtful. . . always thinking of ways to help us enjoy things as a family (camping, bike rides, playing in our backyard, beach time). He is such a proud grandpa and as i type that i also know how very proud he is of me.

I put one of my hair ties in my dad's hair ages ago.

Three years ago, another dad entered my life, my husband became a dad for the first time. I have witnessed an incredible transformation, one that i cannot put into words. His patience amazes me (and at times, i must admit, surprises me). The way he laughs with our girls and plays with them brings great joy to my heart. He does so much for Camryn and Jaelynne and loves them deeply. Seeing TJ as a papa is an amazing thing to witness. I love him more and more because of it. I get a smile thinking of our girls growing up with a papa that is an amazing role model of how to respect and love women and how to be partners in life (with household chores, money, and decisions). I really should be sleeping, so this is not the best attempt at putting all this into words. :)

TJ with his girls in November-

Alanis says it best in her song Princes Familiar-

Papa love your princess so that she will find loving princes familiar
Papa cry for your princess so that she will find gentle princes familiar
Papa listen to your princess so that she will find attentive princes familiar
Papa hear your princess so that she will find curious princes familiar
Papa laugh with your princess so that she will find funny princes familiar
Papa respect your princess so that she will find respectful princes familiar

My Perfect Birthday

After i got home from a short trip to school, i ate leftover cheesy potatoes and southern baked beans and then i headed out to the garden. I weeded, cut things back, sat in my swing, and pondered how to spend some birthday money. . . a hammock? A Pandora charm? A pair of Keen sandals? A free standing vine trellis?

Soon, the creeping Jenny will be covered with yellow flowers. The first couple popped open but there are thousands more to pop soon.



This place makes me oh so happy! I just love it!
When Jaely and Cami got home, Jaely made a cake with TJ. It was a texas sheet cake and it was delicious! It was made with a ton of love (and patience). TJ is such a patient papa.


Jaely sings me Happy Birthday.


Pure excitement on Jaelynne's face as the batter is poured into the pan.


My man also made me pasta a la caprese for dinner. Yummy!

Then Jaely brought me my gift. TJ was worried about frosting the cake, making out my card and wrapping my present. I told him not to wrap it since i would be tearing it off in mere minutes, so Jaely delivered my present.

(disclaimer- i do have shorts on. . . they just happen to be the exact color of my skin. . .creepy!)

I got a new Vera school bag!! My old one is falling apart! I also got a Life is Good mug for home for my chai latte.
Jaely said "Bye. I go to school now."






What a perfect day thanks to TJ and my two girls. I also got a number of cards, texts, calls, a delivery, and facebook wishes that kept me smiling all day!