Tomorrow i am going to school. . .

and it is October first. I have not gone to school on October first in four years, ever since my mom passed away. October first was her birthday and i would stay home to celebrate her life and cry about her passing. I know it sounds weird. It was just something i needed to do. Last year it fell on a weekend. This year, i don't have the sick days and i think i will be alright.
In previous years, i would

• Paint my toe nails (she loved having her toenails painted and always thought i should)
• Watch My So Called Life (this was our favorite show)
• Watch our wedding video (to hear her voice)
• Look through photo albums
• Take a nap
• Cry
• Blog

This year i will be surrounded by students and adults. Really no chance to cry. I do think that i will be alright. I will definitely live my day with many many memories going through my head of her. They will make me smile. Maybe i will cry when i get home. Either way, i am going to school tomorrow.

New Pictures

My dad got me a furby when i was younger. I had it when i lived with Sarah. We both found it kind of creepy, but funny. When we moved, i hid it in some boxes she was taking with her. I guess the bumps in the road made it turn on and talk the whole way to her new place. She finally disassembled it and apparently kept the eyeballs! I still have a picture of furby that i keep tucked in a kitchen cupboard door. . . it makes me smile every time i open it!

Corbin with Furby's eyes! CREEPY!

Aren't they adorable!!

Weekend

Last night, i stayed out later than i have in months. . . which is why i think i am taking a nap in a few minutes. We went out to eat with Kathleen and Rich before heading over to the Frauenthal for the opening season of the symphony. Rob and Kim have season tickets, but were not able to go last night, so we got to go. It was spectacular. The pianist was my favorite. I was absolutely mesmerized by his hands, his talent, and his odd quirks. I must admit, however, that i was excited to go to bed, too. Waking up at 5:15 and staying up until 10:30 about did me in, but i am so glad we went.

This morning we woke up and headed to gary's in Montague for some breakfast. We then went to Octoberfest and bought two mums, a huge sweatshirt for super cheap for when i am really big and just want something cozy to wear, and we of course looked at all the pumpkins and apples. Yum. Now TJ is going to mow the lawn, clean out the gutters, and build a built-in. I am going to take a nap and then clean. Right now, i am chilly and tired and i just want to crawl into bed!

Our Typical Annie

This is what Annie looks like most of the day. . .
Napping.
Drooling. . . profusely.
Tongue hanging out.
Looking unintelligent or drunk.
Stinking.
She has problems.
We still love her.
Most of the time.If you look closely, you can see the string of drool coming from her tongue.

Paying Bills

This morning, in between blowing my nose, i paid bills and balanced the checkbook. The checkbook balanced to the cent in a matter seconds. What a great beginning to the day! I am such a dork. I am starting to get a little worried about finances, and i should be. Many of you know that i am not planning on working next year and i am taking unpaid leave at the end of this year. Money will be tight. I am a firm believer though, that you spend what you have. When tj and i were first married, i worked at hallmark and he went to school. It was tight, but we made it. Our mortgage is about 2 hundred more than our rent was at the time and we do have other expenses that we have added to our lives. . . some we can take away, some will stay. I guess i am not used to being so worried about finances. My check has been going into savings for the last three years, transferring some out as needed. But next year, there won't be that option or as much of the savings. I know this is what God wants us to do though. He will provide, and we will make the necessary changes. We realize a family trip to Disney or the latest clothes and gadgets will not be a part of our lives, and we are alright with that.

The scary thing is, i can only take a year leave from the date of the birth of our child, which means if the board does not grant me more time than they have to, i will likely have to resign. That scares me. Teaching jobs are so hard to get these days. TJ wants to take a leave the following year, while i go back and teach. If the board doesn't grant me what i am asking for, that plan will not work. We will have to see. So much to think about.

I remember my mom living from pay check to pay check, almost like a juggling act. She was pretty talented at juggling. Hopefully, she passed on some of that talent. Even if i continued to work, things would be tight with having to pay for day care. No matter what, we are having a baby and babies cost money. I cannot wait!!!

Today is a day of school work and laundry. I either have a cold or allergies. Yesterday, i think i was running a fever, but today i just feel completely stuffed and my eyes are watering, which makes me think allergies. Anyway, i better go put the next load into the washer. I feel more at peace about finances now that i wrote about it. Blogs are good for that.

Thankfulness

This morning, as i am driving to school, i was overcome with thankfulness. All these things, events, people, flooded my mind and my heart. The family i was born into. The family i married into. My husband. Our jobs. Being pregnant. Being a mother soon. countless and countless more. It started my day off right, a little teary eyed, but right.

It amazes me how when your day starts off good, it just gets better. Bad or annoying things are easier to brush off. Good things seem to find you, or maybe you find the good things. All the smiles and good, just make the good even better. That is how today was. That was my morning.

i was able to brush off when i knelt down to help a student and midway into our conversation he wiped his nose on his sleeve and made a string of snot, a rope really, stretching from his sleeve up to his face. It was disgusting. Yet, it was all the good things that stick out. All the little things that made me laugh or made me smile. All my thankful thoughts played over and over again in my mind. And as i went through the day, more were added. Good thoughts were attracting good thoughts. I look around, and i am so overcome again with thankfulness. It was like a list to God of all the things and people that i never want to take for granted, that i want to thank Him for creating and placing strategically and purposefully into my life, for making our paths cross and intertwine.

Used to

I used to get to school at 7.
Now i get to school at 6:30.
I used to get home around 4.
Now i am lucky if i get home by 5.
I used to be able to correct papers when i got home.
Now i eat, clean up and go to bed.
Something has got to change.
I used to not be pregnant.
Now i am pregnant!
I used to stay up until 10.
Now i go go bed at 8.
Life used to be and is good.

Fellow Parade of Home Goers-

You must check out house/condo number 20 and you must wear blue. . . also don't forget to check out their advertised "enter net alcove"

Just in case you hadn't noticed my links

TJ has a blog. . . and so does baby ellis.

Fall Fun

i love fall. We just returned from the farmer's market. . . yum, fresh tomatoes and apples and nectarines. Then we went to a breakfast dive and had a tasty breakfast. Then on to meijers (yuck) and now we are going to some parade homes. It is a cool crisp sunny fall day. Oh, and we stopped at a hallmark store. I really wanted this precious moments and i couldn't find her anywhere else. Since i am now in my second trimester, i thought i would finally get her. There are a lot of precious moments to celebrate pregnancy, but this one seemed appropriate to buy for myself and seemed appropriate for our situation. I used loopie money to buy her and she is making me smile. Her title is "The Good Lord Always Delivers" and she is holding a book of baby names. Awe....how cute. I know some people reading this feel like vomiting right about now.

Kids? Pregnancy? or Both?

I don't know if it is my group of students this year, or my hormones or a combination, but i am getting so irritated with my kids. Other third grade teachers are saying the same things, but one is also pregnant. The kids do not listen or follow directions. I model what i am asking them to do. I say the directions verbally as well as write them on the board. I have them discuss what they are going to do next with the kids at their table. I ask "are there any questions someone might have? No questions. Then, i set them free and i have a ton of kids come up to me saying, "i forgot what we are supposed to do" or "what do we do" or " i don't get it" or "teacher, teacher". AAHHHHH! The "teacher. teacher" has got to stop. . . they are in third grade and my name is easy to pronounce.

During direct math instruction about pictographs, i had to tell two students for the second time that day to put their Captain Underpants books away. I love reading and i am glad for their enthusiasm, but sometimes you have to do what you don't necessarily want to.

Thankfully, other teachers feel the same way. Thankfully i have planning tomorrow, unlike today. Thankfully i am pregnant. . . i am just so happy about that. Thankfully i have a job that, for the most, part i love.

I guess i need to pray for patience. I have noticed since being pregnant that my road rage has increased and i often find myself bothered by inanimate objects. These are kids. . . kids who see me for seven hours out of their day. I have so much responsibility, so (too) much influence and power. It creeps me out. I need to have patience. All teachers need it. . . even the pregnant ones. Please pray for us.

Breaking the Silence

One can tell school has started. . . silence from my blogs. I was in bed by eight every night, after getting home at 5 or 6. I was/am so tired, but i made it through the first sweltering week.

My students seem like a nice bunch of kids. There are already two that are driving me nuts, but i am sure it is hormonal. One poor boy keeps crying. I feel so bad for him. He has some anxiety issues and can't keep it together. Once he was crying because he rode his scooter to school and it looked like it was going to rain. He just could not get it together enough to tell me. It was impossible to understand. When i finally figured out what he was talking about, we promptly called his mom to have her pick him up. Then he started freaking out thinking that she was only coming if it was raining and he wanted her to come no matter what. Another call home was made because he could not calm down. He couldn't even talk to her to get words out. Crazy.

I am looking forward to sleeping in, at least not hearing my alarm sound. I will sleep past 5:15 tomorrow and i am kind of excited. I think i am going to go eat some crispy crowns, olives, and muenster cheese. Dinner here i come!

A Wonderful Ending

Since tomorrow TJ and i will both be working on school things, today was the last official day of summer for us. And what a wonderful ending it was. This weekend, with our getaway, was just what we needed. We finished off the weekend with me sewing inside as i listened to the hum of wordworking tools in the garage. TJ played around and tested his leigh dovetail jig as i wore out the tips of my fingertips with putting in and taking out pins in fabric. We also cleaned a bit inside and in the garage and finished some odds and end jobs. I got tired so suddenly that i had to stop a sewing project when i was almost at the end. I just couldn't go on. However, i do think i am beginning to get some of my energy back. . . i didn't nap today and i worked until 8:45. Hooray! Just in time for school.

I also ate mashed potatoes that my loving husband made me. YUM! I am ready to settle on the couch as TJ, surrounded by cats, reads his book. Sounds nice. Most Sundays won't be like this anymore. . .

Relaxed and Rejuvenated

We just got back from our last summer celebration. It was perfect. . . just what we both needed. I feel completely relaxed and rejuvenated, especially compared to when we left. We shopped a ton in GR. I got some maternity clothes for school, a snoogle body pillow, thank you cards for all the baby gifts baby ellis has already received, and some other things. We ate out a ton (one place i took one bite and had to get it out of my view). I did have the best cinnamon french toast, though at a place called Sundance. We took a walk around our huge hotel and on the sky walk and then we took a walk along the river. Then we had more errands to run. I told TJ that i didn't want to go back home and empty the dishwasher and pay bills, so he took me to a movie. Bourne Ultimatum was excellent. Now i am home, and it is too late to do my chores, so i guess i will go to bed soon. What a perfect plan. It was absolutely wonderful. We needed that. We just enjoyed each other's company, held hands walking down the sidewalk, laughed together, dreamed about baby ellis, and enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine. I did burst out in tears when i saw two kids that were in the backseat of a hot car, left alone by their mom shopping in the mall. The security guy was questioning the older girl. The other child was crying and in a rear facing car seat. I never appreciated those security guys as much as i did then.