Thoughts on Christmas

I finally transferred the pictures from the camera to my computer and it made me realize i had not yet blogged about Christmas. Christmas was wonderfully relaxing and peaceful. I don't really have much else to say about it. It was wonderful seeing family and being able to chat with everyone. Mom was deeply missed and i missed seeing Jason, too. I wore my pajama pants more than i wanted and ate more delicious cookies than i needed. Jered and Jason both made me cry with their Christmas gifts to me and Lori and Gail both made me laugh till i cried. Grandma Howell said she "became overcome" and learned that when my dad was little, granna got so mad at him for saying "farting around." I guess that is why granna says she is "leaving winders" instead of the f-word.

A post from Gail's

Friday was a crazy, exciting day. TJ and i worked till the wee hours of the morning. For like six hours more i worked on a christmas gift, while TJ made cookies. I would take a break, unfold my legs and wash dishes or drop cookies onto a cookie sheet. At night, we both took a break to eat a nice Christmas dinner (steak, rice and peas), eat some cookies and open presents! TJ got me a wonderfully warm, beautiful North Face jacket, a red fleece jacket, a fleece pull over, Life is Good pjs, Life is good t-shirt and sweatshirt, a skirt that i had been eyeing and two long sleeve v-ncek t-shirts. I also got my matching vera wallet. It was so much fun to open everything.

I hid most of TJ's gift in my closet. He opened the little box that had all the parts and a DVD explaining his new Leigh dovetail jig. He was speechless when he opened it. In his overflowing stocking i got him season one of the Office, a car talk calendar, i-tunes gift card, and candy.

We played with our new stuff for a few minutes, then it was back to work on the homemade chex mix and packing up the various tins for family and friends. Then TJ cleaned the kitchen.

We arrived at Gail's yesterday after making some stops in Grand Rapids. I am looking forward to Christmas, although it doesn't feel like Christmas yet. Everyone is sleeping here, so i thought i would blog and wish everyone a very merry Christmas!

Ahhh, vacation

My muscles in the back of my neck are finally starting to relax. I had a scalp massage and shoulder massage today when i went to get my hair cut. With short hair, i can see that i am going to need to get my hair cut much more often. I still like it better than my long hair, though.

There is a little package under the tree for me. It has a beautiful bow made out of sparkly snowflake ribbon. There are also quite a few other gifts under there for me. I cannot wait to have tj open his gifts. We are trying to hold out until tomorrow. We are going to have a nice dinner and then do our Christmas celebration.

TJ is hard at work making cookies, while i am finishing up making a Christmas present that i cannot mention on here. Poor TJ. As a break, i wash some dishes so he can move on to another batch. Later i will start to help by dropping the dough, but i am so pressed for time too. I really want to have the house completely cleaned before we go out of town. I also need to do my toe nails. . . i thought about spending some of my earned "loopies by Lindsey" money to get a pedicure at the salon today, but i just couldn't let myself do it. It seemed so frivolous. I also have so much school work to do, but i am not thinking about that until after the holiday. I took a nap today. Our bodies are still trying to catch up on sleep and relaxation. Thanks to my brother Jason and his soon to be wife Whitney, TJ stayed up until 3:00 playing a video game they had given him for Christmas. He said it was so addicting. He didn't know how late it was until infomercials started appearing on the TV. Thanks guys!

I have always had an extreme dislike for Berber carpet. I hated it even before my mom carpeted the whole house with it when i was in high school. I hate the colors it comes in. I hate how some of it has the embossed design in it. I hate how industrial it looks. I hate the name of it. . . Berber. What kind of name is that, anyways? I finally found someone that has the same dislike for it. My friend is putting new carpet in her basement, and as she was telling me about her options, she said that Berber was not one of them because she hates it. Her mom also put it in the main level of her house. The joy in sharing a common hatred is so satisfying! Down with Berber!

Well, my break is over. I must get back to creating. At least i am getting some movie watching in while i do it! These last two days I have already watched A Christmas Story, National Lampoons Christmas, Meet the Faukers, Talladega Nights, and i am currently watching Spaceballs.

As if i don't have enough to do.

Being a teacher is crazy, especially this time of year. Not only do you have your typical Christmas stuff to do at home for your family, you also have to do it for your classroom and your "family" there. Yes, i had to decorate my classroom. I have to wrap 24 books tonight, after of course i write a special little message in their books. I have to laminate the cover of their books that they illustrated and are giving someone for Christmas. I have to cut out their covers and bind all the pages together. I have to prepare for their other present, a glass ornament that they paint/write on and then fill with gaudy, sparkley things. Also, the semester is coming to an end, so i need to keep teaching and assessing. YIKES! Then, i get to take all the crap down in my room, write thank you notes to gobs of students for the weirdest presents. Okay, there is more, but i am freaking myself out.

On another, less stressful note, i watched the interaction of two of the cutest babies last night. Noah and Maya sat (wobbled) across from each other with feet almost touching. Noah was mesmerized by Maya's sprouting pig tails and kept trying to grab them, and Maya really liked Noah's squishy feet. It was so cute to watch their expression and their curiosity change and unfold. I wonder what was going through their minds. Kids are truly great entertainment. We all sat around and stared.

TJ and i had another talk about what we think our options are. I say "think" because my appointment isn't until the 28th and then i still need to make an appointment with the specialist in Grand Rapids after i get referred. Before we even started trying to get pregnant, TJ and i discussed adoption. We knew it was something that we wanted to do, but we always assumed it would be after we had a baby. Now, i am not so sure. I have always been so curious what kind of child the combination of our genes would make. Would i be content with not knowing? TJ said he thinks he would rather adopt than go through IVF, but he totally understands my reasoning for wanting to do IVF. I guess i am still not sure. I need to wait until i have all the information. . . maybe until they find out what is wrong with my body, and until we know all of our options. I know there is a little baby somewhere, sometime that will one day be ours. Keep praying!

Anticipation

I cannot wait for TJ to open this present. It is specially wrapped in already-used snowflake paper that my mom once wrapped one of our many snowflake themed gifts in. She suggested i keep the paper because it was so nice and so thick and i could use it when i added to our snowflake theme by giving a snowflake gift to TJ. There is nothing in it that will add to our snowflake theme (sorry mom), but TJ will like it i think. The paper smells of cigarette smoke, but I love how there is a hint of sparkle as it sits under the tree waiting to be opened. I love this time of year.

I don't get to work at 7 so i can blog, but. . .

I have a lot going through my mind. On my way to work, i was thinking of all that has happened and all the i have accomplished since my mom has passed away. It is weird for me to think that she was not around to see me get my first teaching job, buy our first house, buy our first car, struggle with gettting pregnant. She was so emotional (i wonder where i got that from) that she would have been crazy excited or depressingly sad. I feel like some times in my life are not as crazy exciting because she is not around or they are more depressingly sad because she is not around. When will i just stop wondering what it would be like?

Some people say to me, "don't you think your mom still sees all of your accomplishments and all of your pain?" I am never sure how to reply. Is it really biblical that people watch from above or is that something we have come to think to bring us some sort of false comfort about death and the after life. Sometimes, i think i can feel her hug me and i can feel her pride in me. More importantly than her "looking down on me" is that i know she is a part of me. Part of who i am today is pieces of her weaved throughout me. So, i guess i know what her reactions would be because they are mine.

Now, i feel like i can get some work done. . .

Jered

Today is my oldest brother's birthday. I was driving home from work remembering good memories. . .
I remember when:

• I was little and throwing up and he held my hair back.
• I fell and hit my head on the corner of the coffee table that was brown, had spindles and orange velvet and jered hugged and rocked me while i cried.
  
• he was an "ass" in Midsummers Nights Dream. . . played the part very well, too!
• he would set up his lego creations on the entertainment center. I can still hear the constant digging sound of legos
  
• I would go to his cross country meets and watch him run.
• he brought me my first Chai Latte.
• my mom and i went to The Brandywine right after he got the job and he was our waiter.
• he had braces, glasses, and pegged pants. Dork!
  
• he lost his contacts in the snow.
• he promised not to tell that i was having a skating party downstairs if i gave him a two liter of pop.
• he skipped school and forged dad's name.
• he came and rescued me by replacing my blown out tire with my spare.
• he was cooking tomato sauce and smeared it all over his face.
• he and jason beat me in monopoly every time we played it.
• he let his friends park on the lawn and i got so upset.
• his Audi rolled back, went across the street and came to a stop in the bushes.
• he put my Barbies in the microwave, after he made them look like prostitutes. (i was getting rid of them)
• he cut my long, long pigtail off at the hair holder because he was playing barber.
• he gave me a Precious Moments figurine.
• i got to watch him at perform at improve.
• he would cook yummy mashed potatoes and other things in the kitchen with mom.
• he and jason would be giggling late at night as they talked from their bunk beds.
• he told me he got hit on his bike by a car. . . and i laughed.
  
• he would sing/hum jazz during his showers loud enough so you could hear him in the living room
  
• he wrote a persuasive letter to mom convincing her to give him his car back. it worked.
• listening to him play the trombone.
• he still sticks his tongue in his cheek when he is concentrating.
• he had and afro.
• dad asked him where the bathrooms were in a restaurant and jered gave him directions into the kitchen!

Jered certainly knows how to push my buttons. I used to yell at him to shut up and he would calmly say, "But Lindsey, i am not the one yelling." It used to drive me crazy. Jered is a sensitive, intelligent, hilarious brother who is laid back and has common sense (both of which i had more of). I am so lucky to have him for a brother. Happy Birthday, Jered. I love you!

Bosses

Last week, my principal came in to ask if it would be alright if all seven administrators came into my room to do a "walk through." He said the administrators were being trained in getting useful observations by walk throughs. He assured me they would be in two groups and that each group would be in my room for about five minutes. I said sure. For some reason, i don't freak out at these things and i think he knew that. I feel like i can almost back up anything i am doing in my classroom, if asked about. You can always do things differently, but not necessarily better. Anyway, in they came today. My kids were finishing up breakfast in the room and were getting ready to switch for centers. The other group came when we were setting up our graphic organizer for Fables. My kids were funny. They were coming up to me and asking what all those people were doing in our classroom. I always just ignore administrators when they come in, unless they approach me, but this was a lot of big people at once. My curriculum administrator said that they had wonderful things to say about me and my classroom and they were wondering who i was. I was shocked that the superintendent knew my first name. . . i am sure he just was told it before coming into my room.

Tomorrow, i have a sub because i am working on curriculum with other teachers. After school, as i was getting ready for a sub, another teacher came in to my room. She had some questions for me. She has been trying to get pregnant and has gone to see the Dr. that i go to. She was put on glucophage and was scheduled for an HSG. I warned her about the HSG and we told stories about taking our temperature every morning, about the word "coitus", and about woman's bodies. It was really good to talk to her. The Dr is moving much quicker with her than she did with me. Maybe because she knows what is wrong with her. It was a good talk. She asked good questions, wanted to know about me, and could relate. The doctor knows what is wrong with her though. With me. . . no clue. I have decided not to be very aggressive right now. I need a break from it consuming my mind. The Femera didn't work. I don't know what to do next. I should call, but i don't feel like messing with it. I am sure i would have to start taking hormones again and start all over. Tired. I am going to wait for my December 28th appointment and probably ask to be referred to the place in GR.

This weekend, i don't want to do anything school related. My grad class is done, so i don't have work to do for that! I don't want to talk about school. I don't want to crack open my bag. i don't want to use markers (unless i am scrapbooking) I want to Christmas shop. I need to bake for the Christmas party. I need new boots. Mine broke when i was out on recess duty. BUT, i have so much school work to do. Oh well. Right now, i am going to go read. If you got to the end of this. . . thanks for reading/listening.

It just keeps coming!

I love this kind of snow. . .the huge, fluffy flakes gently falling and ever so gingerly resting on another flake as it comes to a stop. It is beautiful and refreshing. I was supposed to have a staff meeting after school, but the nice principal called it off due to weather. In Montague it is extremely gusty, but in Twin Lake, it is calm. Calm to the point where each individual branch is accentuated and the snow stays where it lands. I quickly turned on all the Christmas lights and took a moment to reflect. I think it is a good night to settle in with some chinese food and have nothing to do with school work.


On another note- sometimes TJ and i get something for the house for Christmas and then we don't do gifts for each other, only stockings. We get some of our furniture that way. Well, this year we were thinking about getting a digital camera. We have one, but it is HUGE and well, actually it is Muskegon High Schools. We know we are going to want one when we have kids and there are some very good deals out there now. The problem: we don't really need it, yet. We would just take pictures of our cats. Although i would like it for my brothers wedding in May. I can take pictures just fine with what we have. A digital camera might be something i can put on a future baby registry at Target. Well, i think i made up my mind. Thanks for listening. IT always helps to blog. I guess that means i need to go get TJ a Christmas present.


I cannot wait for the end of this week. My good friend Mary from New York is coming to my house. We were friends in high school, in spite of a common friend trying to keep us separated. We lived together in college and have continued to stay close. I can tell her anything. She is an amazing listener and friend. On Saturday i am helping to host our staff Christmas party. Fun.

In the meadow we can build a snowman

Friday: Snow day! I didn't know it until i drove for 45 minutes in terrible conditions to work and was promptly told they had canceled school at 7:40 (five minutes after i left home). I turned around and came back, after i relaxed for five minutes. I then worked on my project for my grad class for 6 hours and finished it up. I also did laundry. At night, i went scrapbooking. I love snow days.

Saturday: Started off our day at the Muskegon library, then went to the Art Museum's festival of trees to hear singing, watch a friend lead her string students in a Christmas concert, saw gingerbread houses, and decorated Christmas trees. Then we went to Hearthstone for some soup. At first we bravely walked the sidewalks of downtown Muskegon to eat at the City Cafe, only to find out it was closed. I said bravely because the sidewalks were a sheet of ice, or not cleared at all. I literally slid part way there. Hummmm, do i see a letter to the editor coming? Then, we went Christmas shopping and i came home and decorated our Christmas tree and the house, as i watched Clue and Love Actually. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.


Sunday: I paid bills, put up the outdoor lights, put up my new (last year's clearance) evergreen lighted moving deer in the front yard, cleaned my fish tank, and maybe i will get to school stuff. I am not in the mood for school.