I have a lot going through my mind. On my way to work, i was thinking of all that has happened and all the i have accomplished since my mom has passed away. It is weird for me to think that she was not around to see me get my first teaching job, buy our first house, buy our first car, struggle with gettting pregnant. She was so emotional (i wonder where i got that from) that she would have been crazy excited or depressingly sad. I feel like some times in my life are not as crazy exciting because she is not around or they are more depressingly sad because she is not around. When will i just stop wondering what it would be like?
Some people say to me, "don't you think your mom still sees all of your accomplishments and all of your pain?" I am never sure how to reply. Is it really biblical that people watch from above or is that something we have come to think to bring us some sort of false comfort about death and the after life. Sometimes, i think i can feel her hug me and i can feel her pride in me. More importantly than her "looking down on me" is that i know she is a part of me. Part of who i am today is pieces of her weaved throughout me. So, i guess i know what her reactions would be because they are mine.
Now, i feel like i can get some work done. . .