Holy cow!

I am so incredibly tired, excited, overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, and sad. I really don't have time to be sitting here doing this, but i need to or i will burst. For a week or so, my jaw has been clinched and i just have this tight felling in my chest. . . i have my thesis hanging over my head. Chapter one is due May 24th and before then i am going to san fran, teaching, having a music program at night, finish a sewing project, going to wixom for a baby shower and to visit family, and doing end of the year crap. My students are going to have a sub thursday, friday, monday, tuesday and a half day wednesday. I am going to san fran, having curriculum meetings and then placing kids into a fourth grade classroom. Not only do i have to write my first 10 pages of my thesis, but i need to do research to know what to write. I have been working non-stop at work to leave sub plans, and i have not gotten any planning time this week. . . so i really don't have anything planned for when i get back into town, and then i am going to have to make more sub plans. AAAHHH!


Okay i feel better now. i am hoping that when i sit down in the plane, all stress will disappear. I am sure that is not the case, but i might be relieved a little bit. I am bringing a few articles and books to read about spelling.

i deeply miss my mom. . . a student brought me a trillium the other day. After telling her that they are an endangered flower i turned my head and pulled myself together and wiped the tears from my eyes. My mom loved her trilliums. They would always show themselves before the ferns took over. They were (i am sure they still are) right on the edge of the woods in our backyard. One time, she found one deep in the woods and transplanted it. I thought she was going to go to jail. She waited each spring for hers to come up. They were truly cherished by her. Of course, she was greedy and wanted more, when there are people who long for just one. I miss her more than i ever thought i could miss someone. Mother's day is approaching and my brother is getting married. She would absolutely adore his soon-to-be wife. One because she is a cool person, two because she makes him really happy, and three he is his normal jason self with her.

Well, i won't write for a while. . . probably. I might need to relieve some pressure that has built up. I do feel better. I think i will make it.