A Change in Attitude

Something inside of me changed last week when i visited school. After the farmers market, TJ and i brought jaely to visit the secretary there. Her name is kathy and she prayed so much for the arrival of a baby into our family. She loves babies. Anyway, we talked about how much i am going to miss the people at school and she said how much she is going to miss me- especially in the morning. As we were leaving she said "we will miss you this year, but you have a much more important job to do this year." As i carried Jaely out of the school, i got this huge sense of peace- like this is the right thing for me to do.

Prior to this, i was actually feeling quite uneasy about it. Would i be good? Will i go insane? Will i be one of those moms that talks in baby talk at all times? But as i left that day, my attitude changed. Just as my job at school was important and valued, so is my job this year with jaelynne. Jaely is depending on me. I feel like all of my hard work this year is going to be so worth it. Just like when i see my students in the fall grow and learn, so that by spring time they are ready to move on. I am anxious to see how jaely will grow and learn this year. I am still going to be juggling a lot of different roles and tasks, which secretly gives me a feeling of great satisfaction- i feel best about myself when i am super busy and getting lots done. I will have days full of juggling folding laundry while entertaining jaely, playing with her as i blog, feeding her during a shopping trip, paying bills while she is independently playing, carrying her while i tidy up the house. I could go on and on. I will be busy. I will have different roles. I will still be multi-tasking. I think i am going to like it!

Every school year i often set goals for myself for the year. . . not for my students, but for myself. The same will be true this year. One of my goals will be to reach out to the adults in my life- as a person with a phone phobia that is difficult, but Jaely needs a mom that is not burned out or forgot who she is (a little funky, funny, and creative). Another goal would be to not be lazy. Just like in any job, one can sit back an do the bare minimal. I don't want to do that. I want to work hard at being a mom- it is more satisfying that way. Lastly, just like during the school year, i need to remember that more importantly i am a wife, too. Not just a mom or a teacher, but a wife. I am wife to a husband who deserves my friendship, my listening ears, my energy, and my time. Jaely deserves to grow up in a home where she witnesses that.

It is going to be a good year!