Take a breath, save your sanity

My day started out quite plesant. We had a staff meeting and then had time to work in our room. I got to visit with Marilee for a bit. Then it was off to Pekadills for the last time this summer (i am glad someone else shared in our joy over Pekadills). I went with some fellow third grade teachers and TJ met us there. Beautiful day. Long weekend getting closer. Sun warming my skin. Then, i return to school to find out while we were gone, the curriculum lady was looking for us. YUCK! We had to meet about spelling. i hate spelling. Either the child can spell, or they cannot. You can teach them rules, you can put up word walls, you can have them memorize lists, you can integrate it into a book you are reading. . . but it never transfers to their every day writing, which is what really counts. As an adult, i am never given a spelling test, but i do have to jot a note to my boss (or i e-mail him and use spell check). I hate complaining about it because i have no solution. . . and that is what bothers me most of all. Maybe i will write my thesis on this. Anyway, there is now this new thing in isolation that we have to do. I don't really get it, and i don't think it will work. I am always more than willing to try new things, especially if there is data and research showing benifits. What i am not a big fan of is just picking something that works because we don't know what else to do. So our kids can't spell on the MEAP. They get 100% when spelling on their spelling tests, but in their writing they fail miserably in spelling. What ever are we going to do?? I know, let's teach them sounds in isolation and sort words into groups according to sounds and then we can move on to science. Hopefully you can see the sarcasm in my words. A couple of times, we are supposed to sort one of their words. How do you sort one word?Is spelling really that important. I spell things wrong all the time, but most of the time it does not stop the understanding of my sentences. In fact, studies have shown that we focus primarily on the beginning sounds of a word and the ending, so who really cares?
Then my day gets a little worse because i have to sign up for observations from my principal, only the directions that are on the folder are written in the most unclear language i have ever read (or maybe it was my killing headache that interfered). I have to sign up for a pre conference, but that has to be so many days from my observation, which can not be on the same day as another teacher and then i need to sign up for a post conference, which has to be three to five days after the observation and i have to sign up for two sets of these. Oh, and they cannot be during MEAP testing, but they should be in October. HUH???
Then i find out at 3:30 that i am getting another student. My even number is gone. I have to add this poor student on to an end of a table, bring out my second set of mailboxes, make her a back-to- school goody bag, write her name on her 3 folders, her notebook, a lunch stick, a job crayon and her locker. Get her a glue stick, crayons. . . ect. I know that all doesn't mean much to you, but let's just say i have to drag a bunch of stuff back out and write her name 80 times.
I tell you all this to let you know what i have learned. I get stressed out very easily. The curriculum lady asked me if i was alright, and i replied with a fake sounding yes. I get overwhelmed so easily. I am flexible. I am calm. I just need a few minutes (okay, maybe hours) to take a breath, and save my sanity. To pray. To feel God's presence and realize that in the big scheme of things, it is ridiculous that i am even stressed about such absurd things. Take a breath. I just want everything to be right. And it is. It might not be how i planned it, but it doesn't mean that the students won't learn. It doesn't mean that i can't try my best.
I feel the tension flow out of my fingers as i just vented my whole ridiculous day. If you are still reading this, i thank you for caring enough to survive all spewing of complaints and education talk. Thanks. I feel better. I took a breath and saved my sanity.

Ready or not here they come!

Here are some pictures of my classroom. Soon it will be filled with 24 smiling faces, each with his/her own hopes, dreams, fears, and stories. I cannot wait to get to know all of them. Our pet fish. . .they stayed alive during the summer months. Thank goodness for summer school.

One can never have too many books. And of course, they are organized by genre


The tables'tubs are named after some of my favorie children books. . . The Stinky Cheese Man, The Mixed-Up Chameleon, Stand Tall Molly Lou, The Farmer, A Hat for Ivan and The Tomato Collection.

Preparing for a week of meetings

Summer is officially over. Tomorrow and the rest of this week, i sit in meetings and professional development. My job is about kids, yet i only see them for an hour this week at open house during the evening. Other than that i am learning how to teach them better, discussing ways of making our curriculum more coherant, and of course, listening to the horror of blood-born pathogens. My classroom is pretty much ready. . . i will post some pictures for the family that never gets a chance to make it over this way. I am still in denial about going back tomorrow. Today, after we cleaned, TJ and i went to a bunch of open houses. . . some realy old, cool houses, some just really old houses, and some new ones. It is fun to imagine fixing it up or living in them. A couple houses in Glenside were just beautiful and unique. They are out of our price range, but would be wonderful distant future grandma houses.

Yesterday, I felt back to normal so TJ and i went to Holland. I had the yummiest sandwich ever at Butch's. It was called the McKenzie's Moustrap. It was a sandwhich with Muenster, Provolone, and Cheddar grilled to perfection. And i got a cup of their tomato basil soup to dunk the sandwich into. It was delicious. We went to the Eddie Bauer outlet. . . my sweater was not there. We went to the Apothacary to visit Vera and to purchase her. She was gone. It was sad. We went from little shop to little shop and came home empty handed, which is probably a good thing.

Friday i got a great report from the doctors. Everything is structually perfect inside of me...no clogs or cysts or polyps. Hooray! Thanks everyone for calling and checking up on me. I truly am loved and thought of. Thanks for your prayers, too. It makes everything a bit easier.

Bye Bye Blah

Today is better. Perhaps it is better because I got on the scale and saw a number that i have not seen since high school. Since i first started weight watchers ages ago i have lost 30 pounds. :) I want a healthy heart and i think i am on my way. Weight watchers is tomorrow. . . i always weigh a few pounds more there, but i am sure i am still down for the week. Maybe my day was better because i went walking with a friend once i got to school today, then ate lunch with another friend. It felt good to walk and talk and catch up on things. Maybe i feel better because my wonderful husband came up to school and took me to Pekadills for dinner. We sat inside because the garden seating was a wee bit damp. Perhaps i feel better because TJ got me three movies to watch tomorrow (The sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Elezebethtown, and Hero)after my doctor's appoitment. I heard i am not going to feel like doing much. How sweet of him. Maybe i feel better because i just got off the phone with my mother-in-law. It was calming, enjoyable and reassuring to talk to her. She definetely does not replace my mom. . . no one could. I do, however, think God put her in my life, knowing that i would still need someone "mom-like" after age 25. I can talk with her about anything and she makes me laugh and giggle. I thank God for creating her and for making her the mother of the most wonderful man in the world, so that our paths would cross and intertwine. To think of who could be his mother. . . and to be so blessed for who is. . . i don't really know what i would have done. Perhaps i am better because it is the weekend for me. I am not going into work tomorrow and this weekend we are going to G.R. Mayber Vera (see previous post) will be invited into our family or maybe an Eddie Bauer sweater. I cannot decide what to spend my spending money on. I feel like i deserve both. . . isn't that terrible, selfish, and stuck up sounding? I am just being honest. I just feel like i am starting a new school year. . . i need both. I lost weight. . . i need both. There has to be some other reasons why i deserve both!

Feeling of Blah

I am feeling blah tonight. There is really no other word that can describe it. I am not sure why. Perhaps it is my lack of sleep lately. I woke up, looked in the mirror, and almost scared myself. I saw a pale version of myself looking back at me and i had huge bags under my eyes. Perhaps i am blah today because i made cheesy potatoes. I thought of my mom and how often she would make cheesy potatoes for special events. I felt blah as i made them in a kitchen that she has never seen, after a day of work that she never got to see me fulfill, for friends she never knew, that i met at church that she never got to go to. . . ya, blah is really the only word i can think of. Perhaps i am feeling blah because i hardly talked to anyone all day. I was alone in my classroom. Perhaps i feel blah because i am so close to reaching my first wieght goal (-25 lbs) that i have set for myself, but i just can't seem to get there (i am definetly not going to partake in my own cheesy-potatoes). Perhaps i am feeling blah because of my upcoming dr.'s appointment. I don't want there to be bad news, but i do want an answer. It is either one or the other. Friday, i have a schedualed H.S.G. - i have no idea what that stands for (i could make something up, though), but it lets them watch iodine go through my sytem to see if anything is clogged. I am not looking forward to the uncomfortable cramps and such. Perhaps i am feeling blah because summer is over. . . things are changing and i hate change. I miss my family.

Perhaps, i just need to go to bed. Good night. Tomorrow will be an un-blah day. . . i can feel it!

Summer List

o Write to David
o Stain deck
o Stain porch
o Get pregnant :)
o Clean windows and screens
o Plant front and back gardens
o Ride my bike
o Go to the beach a ton
o Visit my dad
o Read books (not professional!)
o --Small Steps
o --Velvet Elvis
o --Inkheart
o --Ida B
o --The Penderwicks
o --The Wright 3
o ELA
o Summer school (so I can buy something fun)
o PEAK Training
o Sew and Sew some more
o Art Fairs
o Walking with Marilee
o Scrapbooking with Sarah
o Go to Hoffmaster State Park
o Go to San Francisco
o Alecia’s Wedding in Traverse City
o Farmer’s Market (Yummy)
o Lose more weight
o --Five pounds
o --ten pounds
o --fifteen pounds

I made this list right as summer was beginning. The excitment and anticipation of what i was going to accomplish and what i was going to enjoy seems unfamiliar to me now as this summer comes to a close tonight. Tomorrow, i shall be in my classroom all day preparing for the 25 little people that are going to be spending 6 hours of their lives a day with me. I did get a lot done on my list, but there is of course, a lot more that i wanted to get done. Some items obviously out of my hands, some items on there just for kicks and some items almost as a reminder. Right now i am tempted to add some things that i did that were never on my list, but that would be breaking the rules of list making. . .Although, i did add things on to my hard copy that sat on the kitchen counter during my weeks of freedom. If you are not a teacher, I don't expect you to understand the feelings zooming around my being right now. I don't expect you to understand what a needed break summer is, even though it means a break in employment and my contract. I wouldn't expect you to understand the countelss hours that school will now take from my life. . . waking up at 5:00, my evenings and Sundays. But i also don't expect you to understand the satisfaction, joy, excitment and rewards i receive because i am a teacher that cares about my students. Soon my days will be filled with hours of unexpected happenings, unplanned conversations, and unrehearsed events as i am a role model for so many kids. Frightening. So, i wish that i got more done on my list because i fear that some things are just going to have to wait for next summer. They will get put upon the annual summer list until they are accomplished. Well, maybe there are a couple things that can be worked on throughout the school year. . .

Super Salsa Saturday

Yummm. . . we went to the farmer's market this morning. Immediately when i saw the glorious tomatoes, i knew it was a salsa day. The only thing we couldn't buy there to make the salsawas the fresh cilantro and the limes for the lime juice. We bought fresh potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, sib lettuce, and unpickled pickels that are super tasty. I told Nancy i had never had one and she peeled one right there on the spot for me and even sprinkled it with salt. I was a taker after that. TJ made the salsa and it is delightful. While at the farmer's market, it sunk in what it will be like not to have our librarian with us next year. She got bumped. She does a lot more than she has to, and it is going to be a very difficult change. I think once the new old ladylibrarian, who could retire at any time, sees that she has 700 kids come through her library checking one or two books out and that the teachers demand things from her, she might just decide it is a perfect time to retire.

While TJ was at school yesterday. I finally cleaned the whole house at once and did all the laundry. Today, i was just able to enjoy the tidy, clean house. LAst night we also watched Shrek 2 with some friends in a back yard as the movie was projected onto the back of the house. IT was real neat and fun to see a bunch of kids scarfing down freshly popped pop corn. Shrek 2 is such a good movie. We stopped into school today. . . my room is clean and the carpet is drying, so they will probably put the furniture back in on Monday. Then, i can get to work in there. Phew. . . .that was a close one.

Well, i think some more salsa is calling my name. It is 0 points on weight watchers. How can something that tasty be free of points? I was down a pound on Friday, which is pretty good considering i was out of town for the beginning of my week. 4 more pounds and i reached my goal. Yipee!

I don't need no education

• Two graduate classes for this fall- $1998.00
• Parking permit so i can park and go to class- $65.00
• Textbooks, used- $114.00
• Gas to get me to Grand Rapids and back once a week- I don't think i want to know
• Knowledge we'll gain from the classes- priceless (if we're lucky)
  
  

Another Day, Another Blanket

I went into school today. My room is still not cleaned, so i worked in the office on a few things and then came home around three. Then i went to sewing, since everything was still out from yesterday. I really needed to clean or do school stuff. There will be plenty of time for that no-fun stuff.
A couple weeks ago, i bought my friend one of those blankets that have the tags or ribbons one the edges. I have always loved these things, but they are so expensive everywhere i went. I looked closely at it before giving it to her and said to myself "i can make that." So, a couple weeks later, i gave it a try. For my first one, i think i did a great job. My ribbon might be too symmetrical. I thought that the two layers needed to be basted, so i traced a few stars and basted the layers together with a purple star. It turned out pretty nice, and it was fun to do. I found the best ribbon for it at a scrapbooking store. The stuff at Joann's was sold in huge amounts and since my 9 friends already had their babies, i didn't think i needed 8 yards of each kind of ribbon. Here are lots of some pictures. . . the stars are kinda hard to see.

This is crazy. . .

Band Saws and Pooh

It is about 10:30 and TJ and i are still working away. We spent the day in Grand Rapids and upon returning went to work on the things we love to do. In the amount of time it took TJ to put together his new band saw. . .

. . . I sewed a flannel Pooh blanket with satin binding. I still have to hand sew the mitered corners. I have learned the hard way. . . after sewing my last hideous blanket which was too awful for pictures. I am very pleased with this one, and that is not a common thing for me to say.


We can get so much more done when we don't have to go to work! We are both going into school tomorrow. I hope i can get into my room and that it is done being cleaned, but i doubt it.

Adorable Adeline!

Pesty Flies, Please Fly Away

ahhhhhhh (a sigh, not anger) today was the last day of summer school, which is a very good thing. I have no patience left. They have sucked every ounce of it from my being. I called TJ up after i packed up my classroom (mind you, i would normally have it all set up and ready for next year) to see if he wanted to meet me for lunch at, of course, Pekadills and then head for the beach for a relaxing afternoon of swimming and sun. While walking the beach to get to "our spot" i was getting eaten by flies- those big black nasty ones. I thought maybe once i got some sunscreen on, they would stop biting me. They didn't. So i thought maybe once in the water they would leave me alone. They didn't. Never in my life, especially at that beach have i ever encoutered such annoying little creatures. It is amazing how a tiny little creature can ruin paradise. I know it is only ruined if i let it, so i was trying to ignore them, but it wasn't working. All i wanted to do was take a nap and they would not let me. Then i start hearing other people talking about the flies. Many families packed up and left because of them. There was no breeze to make them take flight. They were surrounding people's ankles, covering dogs and i swear TJ had a whole colony on his back. We left.

Tomorrow, i am scrapbooking with some friends. I cannot wait. Also, we are heading out of town again this weekend to celebrate some birthdays that need celebrating! It will be so nice to relax with family. I am so glad God made us to be born into families. . . he really didn't have to you know.

Lately, my thoughts have been completely taken over by this intense lust i have. Vera. She fits my style so perfectly. But, i don't have enough spending money left this month to make her mine. Patience. Where has my patience gone? I think my hormone pills are eating away at my patience. . . especially with myself. I am so down and hard on myself lately. I know it is not really me. 8 more days and i shall hopefully be back to normal (well, as normal as i usually am)

Meet the Veras. Aren't they both so cute?!

To the other side of paradise

These last couple of days have been amazing, in spite of summer school. Yesterday, TJ and i rode our bikes 8 miles, then went to pekadills, then to lake Michigan with friends. The waves so were so much fun. . . i sure got my exercise for the day and instead of rewarding my exercise with an ice cream, i hope to be rewarded at the scale tomorrow morning at weight watchers.

I am excited for tomorrow. TJ and i are driving up to visit my dad. He lives in paradise, with a pond, a running creek, deck galore, tons of trees, and he is excellent company, of course. Although he is two pets short from last time i was there, he still has his talking african gray parrot, a bunny, a dog, and fish. It will be nice to sit with him for more than a couple of hours with a bunch of other people around. He works crazy hours. . . i hope not to have him lose sleep while we are visiting.

We also have a wedding to go to near my dad's. I think it is going to be a very beautiful wedding and a fun reception. It is a group of people that really know how to have fun, and since TJ has had a lot of practice dancing with DDR on our playstation, maybe he will be on the dance floor all night long showing ushis moves. Okay, maybe not, but i do hope to get some dacing in with him. Congratualtions Alecia and Joel!

Congratulations are also in order for three sets of new parents. In the last 2 weeks there has been 3 births (probably more than that, but three that i know of.) First, there was beautiful Adeline. Then adorable Jack and most recently cute Caitlin. Congratulations! I have had the chance to hold two of them! Caitlin lives in Chicago with my cousin. . . i have yet to have seen her, other than a photo.