Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Feeling of Blah

I am feeling blah tonight. There is really no other word that can describe it. I am not sure why. Perhaps it is my lack of sleep lately. I woke up, looked in the mirror, and almost scared myself. I saw a pale version of myself looking back at me and i had huge bags under my eyes. Perhaps i am blah today because i made cheesy potatoes. I thought of my mom and how often she would make cheesy potatoes for special events. I felt blah as i made them in a kitchen that she has never seen, after a day of work that she never got to see me fulfill, for friends she never knew, that i met at church that she never got to go to. . . ya, blah is really the only word i can think of. Perhaps i am feeling blah because i hardly talked to anyone all day. I was alone in my classroom. Perhaps i feel blah because i am so close to reaching my first wieght goal (-25 lbs) that i have set for myself, but i just can't seem to get there (i am definetly not going to partake in my own cheesy-potatoes). Perhaps i am feeling blah because of my upcoming dr.'s appointment. I don't want there to be bad news, but i do want an answer. It is either one or the other. Friday, i have a schedualed H.S.G. - i have no idea what that stands for (i could make something up, though), but it lets them watch iodine go through my sytem to see if anything is clogged. I am not looking forward to the uncomfortable cramps and such. Perhaps i am feeling blah because summer is over. . . things are changing and i hate change. I miss my family.

Perhaps, i just need to go to bed. Good night. Tomorrow will be an un-blah day. . . i can feel it!

1 comment:

Ang said...

was it? I hope today was un-blah- as you anticipated it would be.

I've been fighting back blah-ness all week too...especially yesterday. Too much alone time and fatigue always cause me to think about everything there is to be sad about. I'm so sorry that so many difficult things were heavy on your mind.

I'll be praying about Friday and thinking about you lots.

love,
ang