Feeling of Blah

I am feeling blah tonight. There is really no other word that can describe it. I am not sure why. Perhaps it is my lack of sleep lately. I woke up, looked in the mirror, and almost scared myself. I saw a pale version of myself looking back at me and i had huge bags under my eyes. Perhaps i am blah today because i made cheesy potatoes. I thought of my mom and how often she would make cheesy potatoes for special events. I felt blah as i made them in a kitchen that she has never seen, after a day of work that she never got to see me fulfill, for friends she never knew, that i met at church that she never got to go to. . . ya, blah is really the only word i can think of. Perhaps i am feeling blah because i hardly talked to anyone all day. I was alone in my classroom. Perhaps i feel blah because i am so close to reaching my first wieght goal (-25 lbs) that i have set for myself, but i just can't seem to get there (i am definetly not going to partake in my own cheesy-potatoes). Perhaps i am feeling blah because of my upcoming dr.'s appointment. I don't want there to be bad news, but i do want an answer. It is either one or the other. Friday, i have a schedualed H.S.G. - i have no idea what that stands for (i could make something up, though), but it lets them watch iodine go through my sytem to see if anything is clogged. I am not looking forward to the uncomfortable cramps and such. Perhaps i am feeling blah because summer is over. . . things are changing and i hate change. I miss my family.

Perhaps, i just need to go to bed. Good night. Tomorrow will be an un-blah day. . . i can feel it!