Friday, November 17, 2006

Friday

It is Friday, which explains why i am still at home blogging. It is 7:00, normally i am at school by now woorking away. On Fridays i normally sleep in, but not this morning. This morning i got up at my normal 5:15 time and cleaned. I have friends coming right after school and didn't get home from weight watchers and grocery shopping until 7:30 last night. I baked and made some dips and then tidied up a little then promptly fell asleep.

At weight watchers i was down 4 3/4! I was so excited. I missed last week due to conferences, so that is two weeks worth, but still, i was happy! I am quickly using my bonus points for treat day today at school and then food at my house. Thanksgiving falls into next week, so i don't have to worry about that quite yet.

I don't want to go to school. TJ and i are really struggling. We just (for the first time) don't like our jobs this year. There are days that i just don't feel like going in. I hope this changes. So, this is what it feels like to not be happy with your job. I feel like i am not a good teacher, a good friend or a good wife lately. I am stretched too thin to do anything up to my satisfaction. I have to remind myself that i set very high expectations for myself.

Well, my floor should be dry by now. Time to go make 2 cups (4 points) of chai for my sore throat to take with me to school. Poor TJ has class this weekend. . . he is really unhappy.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm going to go pray for you both as soon as I finish this. I know lots of things seem "not right" this year. When you were kids, there were things moms could do to make it better--movies, ToyRus, nintendo games, shopping trips. Don't ya wish that would still work once in a while?? Actually, games and shopping trips would help a little bit, but now I'm out of money. The only way I know to get through a time like this is to just keep taking the next right step--one thing at a time.
I'm so happy for you about the 4 1/2!! What a good Weight Watcher you are.
Hug each other for me. You are so great for each other, and all of us love you very much, Mom

Ang said...

as always... I have nothing to say to make anything better.

I really need to work on that. :)

Some of your feelings, i can relate to...the numbness of routine, the harsh self-evaluations...and feeling like every role of your life is somehow failing or just not excelling.

Some of the gray-ness of this season of your life, I know I can't feel. I just wish there were a way that I could fix it or lessen the pain.

Usually when I'm feeling blah...writing about it helps some...and feeling loved and understood helps even more.

So...all I know to do is to tell you how loved and admired you are. Your passion (though it may be dormant at the moment) for teaching is always inspiring to me...the way you read children's books all the time and post them on your blog....the pictures of your carefully arranged classroom with beautiful and creative ways of inspiring your students. Honestly, I've often been motivated to be more deliberate and creative with my planning and teaching because of you.

It sounds like you are quite Martha Stewart-esque this weekend too...baking and cooking, and cleaning, entertaining guests....sheesh

Best of all....Thanksgiving break is practically here...and then there's Christmas break:)

Hope the weekend brings many fun diversions from the monotany of your jobs.

if singing would help...you could come visit calvary...Ryan and I get to do music this week.
oh how we miss Church with our friends.

no pressure to come ....there's always "night church" where we usually see you :)

Anonymous said...

Too often I feel the way you expressed. It is some sort of mental/emotional numbness that seems to creep in slowly, without notice, until, all of a sudden, you find yourself in a fog. At this point I feel like life is a pinball game and I am the ball. Unfortunatly I haven't yet figured out how to correct the situation. I know the weather has a lot to do with it and it has been so gloomy latrely.
I do know that you have had extremely high expectations of yourself as well as lofty goals. Hence, T.J. :) But knowing this facet of yourself makes it healthy and helps you to deal with it.
You mentioned that you went grocery shopping after Weight Watchewrs. That's just wrong! Go before, or the day after. Congrats on your success. Love, Dad

Lindsey said...

Thanks for your thoughts every one. It is encouraging to hear that people go "thru" this and somehow get out of it. I appreciate your comments, thoughts, prayers, humor, and connections. It helps more than you think or know.
Love,
Lindsey