Yesterday was Terrible

We didn't sleep hardly at all. The night before last is kind of a blur of shushing jaely, rocking jaely, cleaning out her nose, moving her from swing to car seat to crib and moving the humidifier with us. At one point i was laying in bed gently shushing her thinking/praying "God i know you said you would never give me more than i can handle, but i feel as if You might be close to doing so." Finally at four she fell asleep in her crib.

After she woke up, i spent the day not playing with her. I spent it taking her temperature, which makes her poo, sucking out her nose, listening to her congested breathing, watching to see if her nostrils flare (a sign to take her to the doctors), trying to get her to eat, and mostly- trying to get her to sleep. I could not get her to sleep. She was crying and kept rubbing her eyes. Yawning a ton. She finally fell asleep when i was nursing her, as the makings for cereal were going bad by being ready on the counter. I rocked with her and let her sleep. She slept for just a half hour.

I had to get out of the house. I was going crazy shifting aimlessly between the napping options of car seat, swing, crib, me, car seat, swing, crib, me. Booger sucking. Temperature taking. Shushing. Crying. Wiping the dried snot of her face. I kept jaely in her jammies. Brought her into the bathroom with me as i brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked like hell. Dark circles under my eyes, chapped nostrils, mouth hanging open so i can breathe, hair clipped back out of my face, a funny bump in the back of hair from sleeping/laying propped up on a pile of pillows. i am sure i smelled. In spite of the way we looked we were going to go somewhere. I didn't know where, but we had to. Maybe the car would finally put the poor bug to sleep.

At 2, i grabbed some wheat thins, filled a travel mug with orange juice, put the booger sucker in the diaper bag and set off. First stop was the gas station. Then, i drove south. Wound up at the mall. Walked around there for a few hours. I am sure it was a sight- me pushing the stroller like a zombie wandering aimlessly about, not talking or looking at anyone but jaely, who refused to sleep in the mall. Way too much to look at for her to sleep.

We got in the car and headed north on the express way. She fell asleep as soon as i hit the highway, so we continued north, past our house and kept going. She slept for 40 minutes in the car.

I cannot beleive the relief i immediatly feel as i hear TJ opening up the garage door. I almost got him up at three in the morning, when i thought i was going to crack from no sleep and feeling like crap myself, but when i looked at the clock and realized he had just two more hours of sleep himself, i couldn't do that to him. He was up a little past midnight writing a test for physics. I could take a nap the next day (little did i know that that wasn't going to be the case) and TJ couldn't.

In spite of not feeling well, Jaelynne is smiling, babbling more than ever, and is almost sitting on her own. She sits by herself, and then wants to recline so that she can kick her feet, so she then falls backwards into my lap. The other day, she was rolling around the living room floor. I got up to make her cereal, heard a huge cry. Turned around to see that she cannot judge spatial distances and smacked her head on the entertainment center as she flipped over. I picked her up and she was fine. She also added some new sounds to her repetroire. Can't really describe them- you will have to hear them for yourself. She mostly does them when she is playing alone. She is also getting a kick out of rocking back and forth while she is sitting- if she was a third grader i would have worries, but as a six month old, it is just cute.

Instead of getting her up at 8 this morning, i just let her sleep, putting an end to any sort of schedule what so ever. She got up at 9:30. The last time she ate was 7 the previous night. She was hungry. Will she ever return to the perfect schedule we had prior to her getting this cold? I can only hope. . . and pray. Today, i think we will be alright. We slept better. Jaely in her car seat for half the night and her crib for the second half. Me in bed, with the ceiling fan going and no squeaky swing. I attempted to go to bed at 9, but couldn't fall asleep until 12- don't know what that was about.

Wow, this is long. Bye.