The Relatives Came

My brother, aunt carol and uncle mike just left a few minutes ago. I love having my family here and i am so thankful that some live close enough that they can come over for a visit, although at times they seem far away. I just think Jaely is so incredible that for TJ and i to be the only ones to experience her would be such a shame. There is just something about families that i love. It is a group of people that you have so much love for, that you would do anything for, yet if they were not family, if you just knew them from work or the gym, you might not take the time to get to know. I love that families can gather around the table and share all their different perspecitves, experiences, and passions and as different as they might be from each other we are all held together because we are related. Because we are related, there is such a strong love. I like to think about God knitting together each of my relatives and knowing that we are going to go thru life together, that our paths will be entwined with one another. I think God knitted us together with our other relatives in mind. . . ah, lindsey will appreciate (and learn from) jered's laid backness and sensitivity towards others, and aunt carol and uncle mike will make a wonderful picture for her of what a marriage should be like, etc, etc, for each relative/ sibling. And then i get so overwhelmed with emotion when i think of what life would be like if mine and TJ's path never crossed. I like to think that God made it possible for me to be born in the U.S., in michigan, and live on the east side, and go to Walled lake schools, and have my aunt bring me to a church in lakeland highschool, and later have TJ wrap duct tape inside out around my head while we were in youth group. And at the same time have TJ get to the same places at the same time. Blows my mind, really. And then by meeting and marrying TJ i added more to my family, people that i didn't know before, that i might not have gotten to know that now i would do anything for. God made us with families in mind. We need them. I am so thankful for TJ and for my family. There have been times when i have been hurt by them, and there are times when i might not have acted like i appreciated their differences, but i am so thankful for each and everyone of them. Well, i guess there is just one that i question why God put him in my life, but that is for another blog perhaps.

Oh, did i mention i made chili for the first time. It must have been good. . . Jered had thirds, and uncle mike had seconds. I liked it.

I love that Jaelynne is so comfortable in other peoples' laps and arms. She is just so adorable. She was our entertainment. What more do you need?

Catching Up

This morning, Jaely and i headed to holland to hang out with Haras and Corbin one final time before they move too far away to Roscommon, Michigan. I am sad about it. Although they lived in North Muskegon, we didn't see them as much as i wished, but we did see them Sunday at church, enjoyed summer barbeques, board games, and Last Comic Standing. It just won't be the same without them. . .

We hung out at Target. We were going to walk in downtown hooland, but rain, hail, high wind, and snow made that idea not very desirable. So Target it was. Sarah and i always used to shop together at Target, now we both pushed our kids around. It was neat. Jaely, of course, refused to sleep and got cranky, but what can you do. Corbin even danced for her. . . she did rock a little for him.

I just tried my ultra-cute gray peacoat on. . . doesn't fit. I tried my cozy red fleece on. . . doesn't fit. I tried my black leather jacket my mom got me at graduation. . . doesn't fit. I tried my white north face jacket my husband got me for chritmas two years ago. . . doesn't fit. I hate this. So, i cried. I just went grocery shopping and told myself i wasn't going to bring ice cream into this house. I asked TJ if there was anything else he wanted me to pick up at the store that wasn't on the list. He said he wouldn't mind some ice cream and then added that if i don't want it in the house he understands and he is fine with that too. I made a mental note that i still wasn't going to get it. My favorite kind was on sale. We have ice cream in the house. Maybe i will eat it in a tiny bowl and only allow myself that tiny bowl once a day. My friend that had a baby six weeks ago looks awesome. I asked her what her secret was and she said she didn't know. She hasn't changed how she is eating. She blamed it on nursing. I nursed. I almost weigh as much as i did at the end of my pregnancy. I hate this. Jaely has a onesie that says "i was worth the wait" and being a player of words i always think "i was worth the weight" should also be on there. She was both.

Today, Jaely officially became a carnivore. She had a chicken sweet potato puree and loved it. What a cute little carnivore. Have you had a chance to check out her pictures yet?? You should.

Tired

TJ did not sleep last night. It isn't that he just couldn't fall asleep, or got a little sleep, or got poor quality sleep. . . he didn't sleep a wink last night. His papers were due today. He typically is quite a procrastinator, but that actually wasn't the case this time. There was just too much to do in too short of a time. He took two days off of school this week, and although i must admit that playing a good part of one of the mornings with our new satillite dirct tv (cheaper than cable) didn't help his papers get done, but it did keep him from going insane. I think it is literally impossible to work non stop for two days without any "you" breaks. I did make him extra thick brownies to help him through these long hours.

Because i am TJ's designated proof reader (which one greatly needs when writing on no sleep) i didn't get a lot of sleep last night either, although i did get more than him. I proofread part of a paper at midnight and went to bed when i was finished. Then i woke up at 4:30 and proofread the rest of the one and then the other paper. I think they were each 12 pages. I got done at 6:15. TJ fixed the errors, printed them out, got dressed and was out the door by 7 to go to class. Things like references, page numbers, title page were done just in time. There were errors in the paper that i wasn't sure of, but we didn't have the time or energy to look them up. I just kept saying to myself, he just needs a B. . .it doesn't need to be perfect.

Jaely wasn't escpecially helpful last night either- not by choice, i am sure. She was congested and woke up several times. On one occasion, TJ had to rock her for 20 minutes to get her to settle down and go back to sleep. We suctioned her nose and throat repeatedly. At 1 in the morning, i begged God to let her sleep the rest of the night, for all of our sakes. And she did, until 7:30. It was so hard pulling myself out of bed at 7:30 on a rainy morning, after only going back to bed at 6:30. Now i know why TJ thought it would be better if he just didn't sleep at all (that is when he thought he would actually had a choice, turns out he didn't)

My plans for today have changed. Sleeping is my focus for my daughter and for myself. When TJ gets home, he is going to kiss me and his daughter and then take a long, long nap. I think Jaely and i will sneak off somewhere and leave him alone in a quiet house.

I hope by some miracle that she is an excellent napper today.

Antsy

As TJ started Jaely's bed time routine, i was extremely tired, but little antsy too. I decided i needed an outing. Target has her bed time formula on sale (and i had a 5 dollar off coupon) and we also needed wipe refills. And of course, i was going to look at things other than for Jaelynne.

I stepped out my front door to begin my outing, and took a deep breath of autumn. I realized that i hadn't been outside since the autumn smell has come upon us. I hadn't stepped foot outside in a couple of days. It felt good to feel the crisp air and breathe in the scent. I got in my car, plugged my ipod in and turned alanis morissette way up. Of course, i sang along with all the emotion i could muster. I hit the seat warmer button and cranked the heat on and sped (just a little) to Target. While there, i just wandered around aimlessly. I found myself in the toy aisle, the halloween section, in the toddler room decor, clearance spots scattered throughout the store. I could have spent a fortune. . . and i still managed to spend more than i wanted. Diapers. Formula. That is already over 40 dollars. I picked up, pondered, rationalized, reminded myself, and put back many things. I managed to hang out at target for an hour and a half without getting anything "extra" -not being very prodcutive really, but i guess i needed that.

A Basket Full of Loopies

I have worked on making loopies every minute i get, which means the house is looking not as tidy as i like it. That is okay. I have 13 loopies i can sell. Hooray! We are back in business.

Oops. . . we slept in

I haven't set an alarm since Jaely was born. . . no need to. I don't sleep that soundly in the morning because i have to pump and then i can't fall back to sleep or she is making sounds. Anyway, Jaely woke up at 4:30 this morning and wouldn't go back to sleep, so at 5 i fed her. She was asleep by 5:30. I had a horrible headache last night, so my loving husband turned off my monitor. When he came to bed, he put the monitor on his side of the bed. Jaely. . . and TJ. . . and i slept until 9. Oops, we got up too late for church. I am really bummed because we missed it last week and the political series is happening.

So, instead of going to church, i made cinnamon rolls and looked through the ads of the paper. I absolutely love the coupon fliers. They have the weirdest "collectibles" sold in them. This week: genuine leather care bear purse that is larger than the size shown (which is a good thing, since the picture was only three inches long), the first ever scarlet o'hara sculptural shoe (i wonder why it is the first ever?), and i saved the best for last- the farting teddy bear.

The ad shows this ugly bear with a square cartoon of the bear sitting on a couch at a dinner party. There is a "F-F-F-F" coming from the bear as people at the party are turning their heads. In the lower corner of the picture is a hand with a remote control. Yes! That is right. The farting bear is controlled by remote control.

Farting Teddy Bear

People just can’t keep their hands off our cute little Teddy Bear! But they are in for a surprise because when they cuddle him, you press a button on a remote and he breaks wind! Guaranteed laughs for everyone! Adorable 17 inch plush bear uses 2 AA batteries (not included). Remote comes with cell battery. Makes a great gift!

I know you want one, so check out their ad, but make sure to click on the bear, so that you get the full colorful ad. It will make you smile.

Speaking of smiling- i also read in the paper that a man was arrested for pleasuring himself with a vacuum cleaner. You might be thinking, well that is disturbing, but if a man wants to do that in his own home, he should be allowed to. The problem was that he was doing it in a car wash. That is just creepy. I cannot imagine pulling my car into a car wash and seeing that.

Normal and Random

Things seem back to normal again, if there is such a thing. TJ doesn't have class this weekend and we are not going anywhere. Grand Rapids and Traverse City were wonderful for different reasons. It was nice to have a break from the norm, but it is good to get back to normal (for example, Jaely taking a two hour 15 minute nap today).

Random thoughts/events

• I actually enjoyed the presidential debates on Wednesday. I was impressed by Obama, especially when asked about Palin and of course i liked the Fox News remark. Not very impressed with McCain. My favorite part was when he was talking about kids with special needs and said sympathetically ". . .kids. . . children, precious children. . .with autism" You could see the gears grinding in his brain as he tried to think of choice words to portray the strongest and most sympathetic way to refer to the kids with special needs. I could not believe the tremendous amount of blinking he did. I know that i do not base my vote on a person's number of blinks during a debate, but i thought it was crazy.

• My step-dad left a lengthy message on our machine that involved him playing his "Gee-tar". It was creepy and i think some alcohol was the cause, but one can't be too sure. i tried not to let it ruin my day. I am sure that he does not read this, since he asked me to print off some things from the internet and send them to him. . . you know, recipes and some old country singer's songs (because i have so much time in my day- i am only mothering a six month old, you know.) Sorry if my bitterness is making an appearance. That is one time i am glad i did not answer my phone- that and two days before when he left another message.
  

• We went out tonight with Kathleen and her family. Greta looks so different, but her laugh is just the same- full of eye-crinkling enthusiasm and very contagious. My favorite quote from her tonight "i like beer. (long pause) root beer" and then laughed like it was the funniest joke. Most of her hair fell out in the front, so she kind of has a kindergarten mullet going on and she has plumped up from all the medication, but she is responding well to treatment. Grace entertained Jaely wonderfully and spoke about the MEAP like it was the best thing on earth. It was so relaxing and so fun to go out as a family. On the way home (sevenish) jaely finally got a little cranky, not bad considering she also spent the afternoon at my school, being held by a plethora of strangers and people not so strange. Anyway, on the way home when she was just starting to whine a little, TJ and i broke into song. Away went the whines. She listened intently to the two of us singing (if you can call it that) "if you're happy and you know it," "The Wheels on the bus go round and round," an attempt at "The Peek-a-boo Song," and "J-A-E-L-Y" (sung like B-I-N-G-O only it goes there is a baby who's so cute and jaely is her name-o. She was probably smiling, but it was too dark to see. I like to think she is one person who smiles when we sing. It was great! and it worked.

• I went to school today for treat day. I love the people i work with- have i mentioned that before? I do not miss the MEAP test that went on all this week. I do not miss the principal. I do miss all the other junk. I miss the people and the actual teaching, which sadly has become such a small amount of a teacher's job. Jaely was great- smiley, happy, and not afraid of anyone. Well, maybe the wood scared her a little, but she kind of scares me too. That was mean. I, of course, never get to talk to anyone long enough to catch up. Either they sat at a different table or i got asked a question as someone comes to see Jaely and i have to switch out of a conversation.

• Next year, there is a good chance i am teaching young fives. Can you imagine? I cannot. Yikes! I cannot think of that or i won't sleep. I will just worry about my job this year- who is sleeping in the next room. I am preparing her for the MEAP test. Not really, but i wouldn't put it past the state to someday make it so there is a test at one year of age.

• I currently have 7 loopies by Lindsey completed. I have been working my butt off during Jaely's naps (which means the house is messy). I have at least 5 orders for them. . . probably more if i actually sat down and thought of them all. Ya, i can think of more already. I am just making a bunch, mostly girl or boy, but a few neutral. It seems most people find out the sex of their baby. It is nice to watch the stack grow. I am increasing the prices of them for several reasons- TJ and i sat down with a spread sheet to figure out how much they cost to make, i spoke with some people who named a price before i said how much i sold them for, i compared them to some others that are being sold, i am making them bigger than before, and i can no longer make one side the less expensive non-texured material because it is no longer being sold in stores. I think $20 instead of $12. TJ and Misty still think more, but i don't know. . . i feel bad already increasing it that much.

• Tomorrow, TJ is working on his midterm for his grad class and doing some research for his paper. I am going to have a normal day and maybe go to Joanns for more fabric in the early evening. Hooray!

• i am trying to get a post longer than Daniel's last post. . . did i accomplish my goal?

Well, i think that is random and long enough.

Traverse City Here We Come!

So, we are all going to Traverse City after all. We are going to stay with my dad, that way I can still go, TJ gets to see Jaely, Dad gets to see Jaely, and TJ doesn't have to room with the new guy. I think it will work out pretty well. The fall color should be unbelievable. It will be nice to see my dad for an extended period of time.

Tomorrow morning TJ leaves for class in GR. Gail is coming. We are going to hang out for a bit and then i am off to meet my hubby in GR for a little anniversary celebration. We got a hotel room at the JW Marriot. We are going to go somewhere nice to eat. We also want/need to go to Johnson's Workbench and Babies R Us.

We come back Sunday and leave Monday morning for Traverse City. TJ is leaving at 4:30 am. I am leaving separate so Jaelynne's schedule doesn't get too messed up. I am so glad that i won't just be sitting at home alone for two days. And Jaely will get to see her grandpa and her papa.

We come back Tuesday, then TJ has parent/teacher conferences the next two nights and a huge research paper and group project due in two weeks. Ya, he is a little overwhelmed. Tonight, i am putting Jaely to bed because he has to stay late to do lesson plans for Monday and Tuesday. Yuck. I think we will bring him dinner though, so he can at least kiss his baby girl.

Huh.

I finally finished My Sister's Keeper today. I read while i was waiting for Jaely to fall asleep. I waited a long time. The book was a good read. There was one point where the mom is thinking about her daughter who has leukemia "I have only known her for two years. But if you took every memory, every moment, if you stretched them end to end- they'd reach forever." As a mother, i totally get that.

I felt like a terrible mother today. Terrible. I know i will have days like this, so i take it for that. Jaely was awake from 5-7. Very odd for her. She often wakes up, moves around at 5, but always goes back to sleep. Not this morning. I changed her diaper, rocked her, shushed her. Finally after letting her cry, she fell back asleep, only an hour before she normally gets up. She then slept to 9, throwing our normal schedule off. I fed her, played with her and then put her down for a nap. She promptly rolled over, and got in her sleeping position, so i left the room, turned on the monitor and started chopping broccoli for tonight's dinner. Not a peep came over the monitor. 30 minutes later, i go peek in on her and she is wide awake, playing with her feet. She never went to sleep, then did for 10 minutes, then woke back up. What a crazy day.

The part that makes me feel like a terrible mom is when she is rubbing her eyes because she is so tired. I know she wants to sleep. I know she needs to sleep. I just don't know how to make it happen. I don't know how to give her what she needs. Grrrr.

Tomorrow, instead of staying put and getting her naps in order, i am meeting a friend for lunch. Her planning and lunch are connected so we get to meet and chat over cheese soup at Pekedils. She needs me and i want to be available to that. . . and let's face it, i need her too.

Another bummer to my day was the fact that my plans for next week don't look like they are going to work. TJ is going to traverse city monday and tuesday and i thought Jaely and i would have fun if we joined him. We have been invited before, but this time we decided to do it. The fall color would be beautiful, plus my dad has mondays off, so i could visit him. TJ was asked if we also wanted to stay sunday night, so that we wouldn't have to leave long before the crack of dawn on Monday. We said sure. Now it seems plans have changed. TJ is no longer the only male going so the school wants to put him up with the other man. The thing is that the other man is the new principal who got the job that TJ was going for and this new principal is not well liked by many people yet. So not only is there not a good chance of me going with TJ and allowing him to hang out with Jaelynne at night, he has to stay with someone that he really isn't too fond of. I am so bummed. I was planning on going shopping, driving around looking at the trees and the lake, and taking Jaely on walks, hanging out with my dad, while still seeing TJ in the evening. He is going to talk to someone about tomorrow, but i bet i am staying home.

Choices

Last night, after putting Jaelynne to bed, TJ started making his applesauce. Yum. We only had two jars from the last time he did it. I decided to scrapbook a couple pages while watching Seinfeld season 2. It was a relaxing night. The only night TJ chooses something he would like to do and not something he has to do. I came up from downstairs, to find the kitchen filled with the aroma of warm apples and the counters covered in applesauce making accutrement.

The canner

This has nothing to do with apples, but check out this crazy carrot on steroids we got at the farmers market. These carrots are so delicious- super sweet.

Cooking down the apples.

The food mill makes it easier- according to TJ. I wouldn't know.

The rejected parts, although they won't be rejected by our compost pile

TJ chopped lots of apples. We bought a mix because it makes the best applesauce, pies and crisp. $12.00 for that huge overflowing bushel of apples.

Some of you may be wondering so i will tell- yes, TJ did clean the kitchen up, of course.

Goats Galore

I love the word galore, almost as much as i love goats. It is one of the few (maybe the only?) adjective that comes after the noun. When put with goats, it is also alliteration. I love alliteration, almost as much as i love the word galore.

So at the pumpkin patch there were galloping goats galore which made me hugely happy.

They had this huge fenced in contraption (one that i think my dad should also build on his property) made out of wood that consisted of bridges, ramps, stairs and pulleys. The goats roamed freely among it, wandering on the bridges, up steps, eating from cups on pulleys, and frolicking about. I absolutely love goats. Especially pygmy goats. I show Jaelynne the one down the road from us every time we pass it. I don't think she was as impressed by them as i was because one tried to eat her pants and shoes. Oops. I almost lost my goat enthusiasm when i laid eyes on their eyes. Peculiar looking things caught me off guard. Instead of circle shaped pupils, they have sideways slits that bulge out of their head. Spooky.


Here is the goat gym (that is not alliteration- even though both words start with a g, clearly the g makes different sounds in each word. . . )

So can you see the pupil slits? Creepy.

This picture is for Mary. Mary meet Jeffery.

TJ enjoyed feeding the alpacas, even though one got his finger.

The tomatoes, garlic, sweet pepper, fresh basil, salt and pepper are mingling in the bowl as i write this. I had to prepare it during Jaely's first nap. My hands have a pleasant basil scent with a touch of garlic. As i was cutting the fresh tomatoes from the farmers market, i was reminded of how my mom wanted me to run the tomatoes under the faucet to get rid of the seeds for her. She said that the cold water made her hands ache. She often doubled the recipe, using 8 tomatoes. This stuff is almost better as left overs. I am now wondering if i should have doubled it. Oh well, too late now. I have no more tomatoes and i ran out of the sweet pepper.

Jaely woke up after only 45 minutes of a morning nap. She is testing out a new noise as she lays in her crib. It seems to be a mix of her growl (a sound she discovered about two weeks ago) and this new shaky giggle (she just found last weekend). It sounds so funny and is making me laugh out loud. She is a strange bird.

I just read TJ's post from last year. It brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face.

Mom's Birthday

It seems so strange for me to think about the fact that i haven't seen my mom in almost 5 years. That is a long time to go without seeing someone that you loved so much and was your best friend. The sound of her laugh is beginning to fade from my memory. I knew it would some day. I haven't heard it in awhile. Today, my mom would have turned 61. I have been thinking a lot about her. Right now Jaely and i are spread out on a big yellow blanket. My mom bought this blanket at pier one for me, probably about 20 years ago (i am old!). I hated the fact that my room was yellow (from when i was a baby), so my mom used the yellow and turned into something that i could at least live with. Granted, my room still had yellow carpet, yellow walls, some yellow wallpaper, but the accessories made it somewhat cooler.

These are pictures from her birthday in 1978, when she was turning 31. I would have been almost 4 months old. Notice i didn't have any hair either, like jaely. These are two of my favorite pictures. . . i have posted them before.

I just thought of her last night when i returned from grocery shopping. Whenever my mom would return from grocery shopping she would pull in the driveway and honk her horn. This honking was our signal to drop what we were doing and to come and help unload the car. If we didn't come fast enough, she would honk again. We hated that she did that. I was tempted to do that last night for a laugh, but i didn't want to wake jaely up.

Tonight i am making pasta a la caprese in honor of my mom. Jered is coming over for dinner and to visit with Jaelynne.

Her life was definitely worth celebrating. She probably would have celebrated by taking a really long nap, staying in her jammies, and making pasta a la caprese and a texas sheet cake. Actually she probably would have gone out to eat and to a movie with George. Who knows.

She is worth celebrating.