A good laugh.

You have to check out this cake wreck site~ Hilarious!

These are just a few samples. . . and the blogger cracks me up!

Nothing in particular

This has been a tough week. All three of us seem to be getting little sleep. Tomorrow, TJ heads to Traverse City and i am staying back this time. Jaely slept a little better last night.

i am so tired. I know part of it is that i am not taking good care of myself. I need to start drinking more water and eating a lot healthier. . . and a little exercise wouldn't hurt either. I am just so unmotivated and so tired. I know i would feel better. I know i would be healthier. . . but i just hate it!

I got my haircut last night and that was wonderful. I got to talk to an adult for an hour without any interruptions. I was actually struggling to stay awake. . . it was so relaxing.

This post is kind of pointless.
Bye

A Much Needed Walk

Most days i love my job, yesterday that was not the case. Most days i am so happy with the decision we made for me to stay home. I cherish the little moments. Yesterday, i felt like it was a day of crying, frustration, and sleepy fogginess.

Thank goodness for our family walk. The sunshine, fresh air, my husband and my daughter made for a wonderful walk. I loved looking down at jaely and seeing her motorcycle hands going wild with excitement and her legs stiff as she twirled her feet around and around. She sucked on her little people table the whole time as she looked from side to side. TJ and i got to peek in a house that is for sale. I love looking at houses.

We passed a house that we love that has been for sale for awhile. It is the same builder as ours, but a little bigger. It has a heated pull barn (perfect for a woodshop), finished basement, and beautiful landscaping. When we passed it we noticed hoses coming from the basement window, and carpet in heaps on the yard next to the windows. Obviously they had some real water problems in their finished basement. Then we heard two neighbors talking to each other about their wet basements. I guess it is a problem for a lot of people around here. It is supposed to rain tomorrow. . . .

I am thankful that we got to enjoy a wonderful walk.

Rain, Rain Go Away

We have lived in our house for five years. Before we moved in we had some concern about some water marks we had on the basement floor. The builder said that it is from when they back filled in the spring and that some ice had been trapped. . . or something like that.

Yesterday, i went downstairs to put something away and there it was. . . water- not a ton, but enough to make you nervous. I had to wake TJ up from a nap. Yikes.

We haven't ever had this much rain with frozen ground. There really is no where for the water to go. We have a lake between our house and the neighbor's house on the north side of our house (ya, you should be impressed with my directional description).

Nothing was ruined. . . we have almost everything in plastic containers. But i hate water. I know it can easily lead to mildew, mold and stink. Jaely's rocking ass (her Eeyore that is like a rocking horse) was alright, but the box he came in was gross, so he is naked and unprotected at the moment. . . but it might almost be time to give jealy her rocking ass anyways.

Thank goodness it did not touch the hunk of cherry that TJ miraculously turned into a beautiful front for Jaely's window seat. I immediately got it up off the floor.

The water is in the northeast corner of the basement. It crept along both walls, but never got to anywhere near where the side we are hoping to one day finish. It does bring up some concern about that though too.

TJ was furious.
We took pictures so we could e-mail the builder.
We should have e-mailed him when our emotions were raw.

Hobbies

I have many hobbies- some would say too many. I love to read, knit, cross stitch, ribbon embroidery, scrapbook, sew, stamping, card making, and gardening. All of these things take up space, need a lot of supplies and take time.

My newest hobby is cake decorating. I was drawn to it when i started thinking about Jaely's first birthday party. My mom always made our cakes- different shapes and characters. I thought it would be something i would enjoy. Her party is going to be flower theme (since i am anxious for spring to come and the flowers to come up). When i saw a cute flower shaped pan, i thought i would give cake decorating a try. I really enjoyed it. I made a mess in the kitchen, but is was rather relaxing and fun.

Here is the practice cake. I definitely need to put more frosting on the sides, but other than that i am happy with how it looks. I also am going to make the pink brighter. The most time consuming part was making and coloring the frosting.

After tasting the cake, i was rather disappointed. Just kind of tasteless. The frosting was good, but i think the actual cake mix i used was kind of blah. I am trying not to compare it to a texas sheet cake (my favorite). . . maybe i should have just planned to make texas sheet cake. . . but there is no going back now.

Now. . . to clean up the MESS!

Not a good start

All before 8:00 am i watched the cat throw up and had to clean it up, got a horrendous kink in my neck and shoulder, cleaned a nasty pot that "soaked" overnight, burned my finger, and burned my english muffin.

It can only get better from here.

Happy Saturday!

Gloria

I have been humming this song for awhile and stumbled upon this video. It is of the highest quality of singing, dancing, and special effects. I love her dance moves.

Mom

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.
Erich FrommI am trying not to relive the day that occurred six years ago. . . there is no reason to, but sometimes it just seeps into my mind. Instead i am trying to think of all the good memories that i have of my mom. Most of the time these memories make me smile and feel blessed, but today they almost make me feel more sad.

It is harder this year than last year. I am thinking of all these memories of my mom and then i look over at jaely and it just breaks my heart- for so many reasons.

I'll get through today. i always do.

Lovin' Traverse

The bug and i are having a great time in Traverse City. She is sleeping in the bathroom with her noise maker and actually sleeping real well (except she got up early). Today i realized that getting her to stay on the safe, germ free blanket that i put down on the floor would be nearly impossible. She can only play in her Pack N Play for so long. So we loaded up and went out. The only thing open that early is kohl's. Luckily kohl's had just marked down a bunch of jaely clothes earlier this morning. 70% off! I loaded up for the upcoming sizes. Then we came back and i put her down for nap. It is so nice to be so close to all the shopping because i can bop in and out of the hotel when i need to. She fell right asleep. Then we went back out. She was a little fussy. Came back and Jaely and tj took a nap. Then we all went swimming before heading out to meet some people for dinner.

We ate at Red Ginger. Yum! The best kung pao ever! Jaely is back in the bathroom- i am praying for another good night. Tomorrow- i think more shopping. I have to check out of the hotel before TJ is done with meetings, so it may be a little tricky, but nothing i cannot handle. Life with a baby at a hotel is sure different. . . changing her on the bed or the table, rinsing dishes, feeding her without a high chair. I am so glad we were able to get a handicap room so we can wheel her Pack N Play in and out of the bathroom. When she gets home i am sure she is going to scoot all over the place!

I kind of feel like i am on vacation. Even though i am exhausted from towing around a ten month old all day, when she is napping i CAN'T empty the dishwasher, get dinner ready, clean, or do laundry. My options are to sleep, watch TV or get on my computer. Nice. . . almost carefree!

Mother's love is bliss, is peace, it need not be acquired, it need not be deserved
- Erich Fromm

Day one, day one
Start over again.
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense.
For now i'm faking it
'til i'm pseudo making it
From scratch, begin again
- Alanis Moressette

TJ

Thirty years ago, gail was in the hospital having just given birth to Thomas James. Today is TJ's 30th birthday. We went into grand haven where we ate at Panera bread and went to a place that sells microbrews. We also checked out circuit city (again) and target. Tonight we are having a nice dinner after jaely goes to bed.

I am looking forward to celebrating the next thirty years of his life. What a truly amazing person. . .

Teamwork

TJ is in traverse city. When he is away i cannot help but be reminded of what a wonderful team we make. I have really noticed it in the last 10 months as we care for our little one, but i knew of it even as we were dating. We each give our 100 percent to our marriage and then when 100 percent isn't enough the other person's 100 percent covers it. TJ has never been one to think that woman have certain jobs and that men have certain jobs. If anything, i have been more like that. . . just assuming he would mow the grass and shovel. But he has never assumed that i would vacuum or cook, iron or do laundry. We just do what needs to be done.

When it comes to jaely the same is true, although we did kind of divy up "the jobs". He has night duty, which means he gives her the last bottle, and puts her to bed. He is then up if she is up until about 11, when he goes to bed. He cherishes putting her to bed, and at times she makes it difficult on him.

Sometimes i feel like the "default parent." But i am the one who is with her all day. I am going to miss that so very much next year. I have come to the point where i really cannot think about it. I am definitely going back to work. TJ is either staying home all day or going half time. We are trying to make a decision by the end of this month. Yikes!

So today, since i was missing my teammate, i decided to make the best of it. I got up, played with jaely, gave her a bath and then put her down for a nap. At that time, i showered did my hair and make-up and got dressed (this is extremely rare). We went to grand haven to go shopping for TJ's birthday gift. Then we came home. I fed her, played with her and put her down for a nap. Then it was off to the Bean's for a time to hang out and catch up with other couples/families. We got back late. It was up to me to put jaely to bed. As i am making her bottle, she is looking at me like "my papa is supposed to be doing this. . . what are you doing?" I am exhausted- one person carries jaely, while the other gets the diaper bag- when we are at a friend's house one person holds jaely while the other one gets their shoes on- if we get home late, one person gets her undressed while ther other person makes the bottle- one person gets her bath ready while the other person gets her ready- one person puts the carseat and diaper bag away while the other person changes her diaper- one person washes out the bottle while the other person reads her a story- one person gets her into the carseat while the other person starts the car- one person puts her left shoe on and one person puts her right shoe on. . . . i could go on and on. Of course, some of this is different if it is during the day on a weekday, but knowing i have down time at the end of the day makes it all pssible.

He was missed in a lot of little ways this evening and as i try to fall asleep, he will be missed in a big way.

I wanna be like mommy!

I got this on e-mail the other day. I think it is from a third grader's homework. Apparently she is not a pole dancer. Her mom actually works at home depot and she is holding a shovel. I love kids!

Almost Free

After shoveling last night and today, my car is almost free. It barely made it into the driveway last night as we got home from being out of town. I am glad that it at least made it off of the road. Of course, this morning the plow came by and flung even more snow at the bottom of our driveway. I am sure TJ can think of better ways to spend a day off from school. Then again, i don't know what we would have done if he had school today.

So tired.

TJ and i are so tired. We just got back from the other side of the state. And although it was great to see family and attend a wedding reception, it was tiring. I think it felt extra tiring this time because jaely did not sleep one night. TJ or i were up with her from 1-5 and then gail stayed up with her until 8. She slept for some of the time, but never in the pack 'n play. She normally is an easy goeing travleler, so i don't think it was that. But whatever the reason, we are tired. Last night was a bit better, but she still required some awake time from TJ and i. She woke up every 45 minutes from 12- 3 for TJ and then i was up with her for an hour at 3:30. I just don't get what is going on. What happened to our great sleeper. Her naps are even bad lately. I think i feel a bump on her bottom gum, but how much blame can one put on cutting teeth?

I am so glad TJ has tomorrow off. He shoveled a ton when we got home, but there is still a lot of snow to move before my car can come any further up the driveway. We had to unpack the car from the bottom of our driveway because the car completely stopped in snow up to our knees upon our arrival.

I have a headach. I am going to take something and relax on the couch. TJ is sleeping. . . exhausted. I am praying that jaely stays asleep. Neither one of us has it in us.

Garage

I cannot believe how parking in the garage makes many things in my life more pleasant- especially grocery shopping. Normally i grocery shop at night, after jaely has gone to bed, but yesterday i wanted to take her with me for a different experience. She was real good, sitting in the cart playing with her toys and smiling at anyone who glanced her way. Before we left i was able to warm up the car, put the diaper bag, our blue reusable meijer bags, and the coupons in the car. I didn't have to clear my car off or take my shoes off once i was back inside because they were not wet. When we got back home, i could do multiple trips without having to wipe my feet dry or track snow through the house. i put jaely down for a nap and then continued to unload groceries from the car. Today after getting back from an outing, i took my shoes off and put jaely down for a nap and then realized i had left something in the car. . . so i went back to get it in my socks. Ahhh, the joy of parking in a garage.

Thanks again TJ. You don't know what it means to me and how much easier it makes life.

A Day on the Couch

I got it. I thought i wasn't going to, but on Wednesday at 11:50 at night all the contents of my stomach came out. And then later my stomach tried to rid itself again of nothing. I was up all night with a bad fever and a queasy stomach. I didn't know how i was going to take care of Jaely the next day. But we made it. TJ got off of jury duty at 11, so he was home for most of the day.

Today i have been on the couch almost all day. Or in bed. Sleeping. When i am sleeping, nothing is waking me up, not even jaely crying and her crying ALWAYS wakes me up. TJ stayed home today to take care of her so i can take care of myself and get over this stomach virus. Jaely has had a full recovery, after three days in jammies and no solids. We are praying that TJ doesn't get sick.

Yuck.

Ice

I am not a big fan of ice in my fountain drinks, but i love it when it covers roads and makes it so TJ has to stay home from school (although he didn't turn on the tv or listen to our answering machine, so he got ready for school and drove all the way there before he realized he had an ice day). Silly man. Happy day.

Complex Querkiness

I know what i am attempting to write won't come out how i want it to, but i am going to try with hope. Today while TJ and i were sitting on the floor playing with and observing Jaely, i was so overcome with the workmanship of God. I have always been impressed with His work when looking at nature and at babies, but when looking at my baby it impacted me more. I knew that all kids are as amazing as jaely, but i didn't really understand it until tonight. All kids have little mannerism and querks that only parents may notice. All babies have tiny observable developments that occur almost daily that are amazing to witness. All of my friends' children are just as amazing and full of the most miraculous mannerisms as Jaely's- i am just not close enough to observe many of them

I love our jaelynne. I love her tiny sighs, her many facial expressions, her wiggly hands, her rotating feet, her ever changing sounds, her thickening hair, her mighty index finger, her thick eye lashes, her curiosity, her shrieks of excitement, her demanding grunts, her rediness to experiment with new food textures. . .

Every child has these tiny things (for lack of a better word) that make them who they are. I hope that i remember these little things about jaely. . . these little tiny things that make her so very special and unique. God made her that way. He not only gave her beautiful brown eyes but also the desire and ability to turn the pages of books as we read them to her. He knitted together her two feet but He also gave her the querkiness of moving them in circles when she gets excited.

* * * * *

When i dated TJ for a while (six years) and during our marriage (7 years) i realized this same thing about people, only i don't think it was as clear. He made me realize that God really does create people so uniquely, whether it is part of their genetic make-up, their enviornment during development, or their own personality. God made them that way by giving them the genes, the environment and their personality. Besides my family (and i don't think it is to the same extent), TJ is the first person that i have had the pleasure of knowing all the tiny mannerisms, the little things that make him him. I love those little things. It is things that only i know. It is the things that make him so special. . . but my point is is that everyone has those little things. I am just so blessed that God chose me to experience TJ and Jaely's eensy-weensy mannerisms and querks that make them who they are.

The workmanship of God is in everyone. . . every single person -in every country- in every city- of every religion- of every socio-economic status- of every sexual orientation -of every ethnicity. . .

When i think of this it changes me. George Bush has these little mannerisms and querks that only a few people in his life know about. . . that God made. That makes him more of a human to me.

I have an actual picture of Saddam Hussien being captured by a soldier. A freind of mine worked at a photo lab at walmart and got it. . . made copies and gave me one. It is an eery picture. It has always bothered me- seeing the look on his face, the dirt and tattered clothes. It made him human. It reminded me that he has little querks and mannerisms that God created in him. The workmanship of God is in him.

The same is true with everyone that doesn't seem human at times- prostitues, addicts, celebrities, ultra conservatives, etc.

Well, like i said this did not come out the way i wanted it to. I am really ,really sleep deprived and should probably go do something about that.
Good night.
I cannot wait to see what jaely querks i discover tomorrow!