The girls

I am kind of emotional right now, as i sit down to write this. I am overwhelmingly thankful, hopefully refreshed, and somewhat sorrowful. gail and Lori came to visit this weekend. I didn't realize how much i needed time with them, how my spirit needed to be refreshed by them, how my being needed to laugh until i hurt, how i longed to listen to them and how i longed to be heard. I am sad this morning for many reasons. I know that even though that time together was much needed for everyone, it will be a long time before we have it again. That makes me sad. I am sad because even though we don't live vast distances apart, it is enough to hinder our visiting. BUT, i am overwhelmingly thankful, too. I am thankful for their love and friendship. I am thankful for their sincere hearts, their hilarious facial expressions, the sound of their laughter, their stories and their encouragement. I cannot even begin to express how thankful i am that God put those two women in my life

This weekend, we ate. We shopped. We ate. We shared. We watched The Breakup. We talked. We ate. We laughed. I cooked! We hugged. We said goodbye. It is sad how we don't often enough take a break from men and our busy lives to have deep, sincere, meaningful conversations and to nurture our relationships. We need to do that more often. . . even if it is on the phone.

Before the girl headed out, i asked TJ to take our picture. As we posed, Lori started tickling gail's knee, so then i started. We were laughing so hard, we had tears in our eyes. Luckily, TJ captured this moment. gail actually went down on her knees so we could no longer tickle them.

Before and After

It hasn't been this short since my brother played barber with my hair when i was little. I went drastic so i could donate it to locks of love. I feel 10 pounds lighter.

Trying new things and having fun doing it!

See what i mean about the star shaped tooth pillow? It looks like the arms are different sizes in the picture. They are not, but i am not happy with the thickness of them. My moon doesn't really look like a moon on the pocket, either. Oh well, i tried something new and now i think i know how to make it better. I am most happy with my crazy pillow. I tried to make the ribbons on the front random. . .and the squares random. It is harder to be random than i thought it was.

I got out of class a little early tonight. Hooray!

What is my deal?

I get home from school after a staff meeting, and i have such good intentions on getting caught up with papers. I didn't touch them. I did manage to make myself write up my fall festival letter, but that is about it. Instead, i sewed my little heart out. Yesterday i finished a very cute loopie pillow. It has loops of ribbon sticking out around the edge and from the front of the pillow. I used my scraps from all the blankets i have made to make it out of squares. It is small, like the size i have seen in stores. It is more for play, than to lay on. Tonight, i tried to make a tooth pillow, which was suggested by a friend of mine after she saw one in the store for $40.00. This was not so successful. . . well, i guess i shoudln't say that. Now, i know what to do differently. I wanted it to be star shaped, so i made a tracer for my fabric by hand. Next time i need to make the arms and legs of the star more stocky and rounded. . . i thought i did, but once i sew in on each edge, it turns out to be lanky and spindly. Now i know. I made the star out of blue bumpy fleece, with a green bumpy fleece pocket that has a furry fleece yellow moon on it. Out of each arm tip is a ribbon (one is very crooked) I think i will bring it into work, to hear their suggestions. As long as they understand it is a trial one, i will be fine. In fact, once i saw how ridiculous it looked, i didn't take a lot of time to sew the closing shut after i stuffed it. Maybe i will post pictures later. . . instead of doing school work. I have class tomorrow and do you think i did my reading? What has gotten into me. No wonder i feel so behind this year. . . i am!

On another note, i talked to my brother Jason today. It was good to hear his voice and hear all the exciting plans for his upcoming wedding in May. It sounds like it is going to be a beautiful, small wedding. I think he said the place only holds 70, so no cousins or random people or great once removed hairdressers. I'm sure for some, that is a relief that they don't have to travel across the U.S., for others. . . they will just have to deal with it! I am sure they will understand. It sounds so nice. It reminds me of the toast that Jason gave at my wedding. Stinkin' hilarious!

Well, i am off to bed. Goodnight.

WHAT??!!

So, my doctor's office LOST my chart. . .it is so unbelievably frustrating. I am so ready to switch doctors, but the thought of repeating tests and starting over seems overwhelming. Then again, i feel like i am starting over every appointment i go to. My ultrasound came back normal as can be. . . lining good, no masses, everything is fine. That was the message i got. No next step. No promised prescriptions called into walgreens. No chatting with a knowledgeable person. Just Carol. . . a perky nurse who knows nothing about me or about medicine. Tomorrow the drama continues. Hoepefully, they found my chart and i can talk to the doctor and get some questions answered.

On a happier note, on my way home from class in G.R. tonight, i blasted two of my new CDs. . . Wicked and Pursue Me. Both are awesome. And since i have seen both "performed" it made it even better.

Promised Pictures

TJ with a Lego man


Me with a Lego lady

oops, i forgot to turn some pictures around. . . sorry



Notice the price for this warm bottle of water!
















Our beautiful Hotel

Chicago

Five years. Five fabulous years.Wow. . . five years filled with celebration, cheek-hurting-smiles, joyful laughter, an unbearable sadness, dreaming, comforting, cuddling, peace, unbelievable love, committment, enjoyment, and friendship.

TJ and i went to Chicago to celebrate our five year anniversary. We decided to do something a little different than our "normal" cedar point anniversary. We enjoyed a relaxing train ride into the windy city and took the bus to our beatuiful hotel. We relaxed, took a nap, went out to eat at a rustic italian place that had phenomenal homemade pasta and delicious bread dipping oil. Then, we went back to the hotel and changed for our evening at the theater. Wicked was an outstadning show. We loved it. I have been humming the songs ever since i saw it.

The next day we went to The Art Institure of Chicago. TJ has never been there, and i went so long ago with my dad that i could hardly remember anything but the lions and American Gothic. The building itself was beautiful and the sunlight poured into the windows. After that we went out and about shopping and admiring the architecture. We ate at the Cheesecake factory.

The last day we checked our bags at the hotel and checked out. We had 4 hours until we needed to be at the amazing union station. So, we of course ate, and walked around. This is the only time we had the camera. I, of course, wanted to be comfy on the train, so i wore a hoodie sweatshirt. But during the trip, i honestly looked decent. . . really i did.

The trip was fantastic, humbling, peaceful, much-needed. TJ and i needed to spend some time together away from the stresses of work for a couple of days. It took awhile for school thoughts to be replaced with peaceful happy thoughts. The weather, besides the first snowy cold night, was absolutely beautiful. Coming home, i have such a feeling of content. I am blessed with so much. i have so much. So many people don't. It is such a different world over there. Nothing is in hiding. There are people begging for a meal outside of shops selling expensive furs. Oprah and Bono visited the Gap for a launch of clothes that will feed the world, while people are sleeping in a nearby park. Theater goers rush past street performers who are hoping to make some money. Bush visited our hotel and was welcomed with angery picketers. I wonder if he ever gets used to seeing that and hearing that hatred? I ate the most delicious food while others beg for change for their next meal. We were the minority in our train car. Different languages were being spoken all around me, but there was so much love and happiness between families being shared. I couldn't understand the words being said, but i understood.

We made it home at 11:45 P.M. . At 1:00 i was so uncomfortable. I couldn't fall asleep. I had a slight fever. I was getting a ragging bladder infection. I had forgotten to take my one antibiotic that i need to take to prevent this from happening. It was too late. At 2:00 i was sitting in the emergency room begging for some pain medication and antibiotics. At 11:00 this morning i was still sleeping and i have taken two naps since then. My body is tired of fighting, but it is winning!

I'll post pictures later. Blogger is not cooperating.

Sunday Afternoon

How we spent our Sunday Afternoon. . .

TJ got a new toy for school and for play. It was an open box special.

The cats took a long nap on their thrones.

I played with my toy and made five more blankets. I do special orders, so let me know if you need one for a special little one!

Soon, i will fold the pile of laundry on the bed and begin to correct my pile of papers. I think i will sew a bit more.

Perfect Day for a Football Game.

Autumn Crisp

I love this weather. Yesterday, after work TJ and i wanted to grab a bite to eat. We were off to Famous Daves. Then, TJ said we could go eat at New Holland Brewing Company and go shopping. He never has to ask me twice. I love shopping in Holland. We welcomed her into the house. . . Hello Vera!

Hooray! We also got some Christmas presents and i found a set of book ends that they stopped producing. If ound them on sale for half off. I almost bid on them on ebay months ago, but they were way too expensive.

Today, we already went to the Farmers market for some honeycrisp apples and a mixed half bushel to make apple sauce with. I am going to clean the house. It needs it desparatley. I need to run to petsmart and the bank. . .and do some things outside too. I am glad it is sunny!

Back to my old self

This weekend, my old eating habits showed their ugly face again. For awhile, food lost its power and hold on me. I no longer turned to it for comfort or for celebration, but this weekend i so easily slipped back into giving it that hold on me. I ate. Friends, at times, encouraged me to eat because of my crappy wekend. I promised myself that i was going to do better today. I broke that promise. As i slipped on my new skinny pants this morning, i knew that i was going to stick to my promise, but after work as i took them off, i ate. And ate. And ate and then went out to eat at a buffet of all places. Tomorrow is a new day. I believe that (as long as i don't say that every day for a month.) I might gain a few when i weigh in this week, but i need to get back on and stop looking at the past and focus on the future. Never give up, especially when i have come so far. Tomorrow is going to be a constant prayer for strength, so i can get back to my new eating habits. . . when i turned to healthy things for comfort and celebration.

Skipping Church. . . again

The intention was there. I was going to wake up today and go to church, do school work, make some blankets, clean and watch Desparate Housewives with friends. The church thing is aready not happening. I feel like staying home, sipping chai and cuddling up with a book or something. Today my mom would have turned 59.

I am glad that the rain has stopped. The sun is rising. Yesterday, TJ and i went to grand Rapids. It was exciting. . . just what i needed. To spend some money, eat out, and enjoy TJ's company removed from the house that needs to be cleaned and the stack of papers that needs correcting. I got some clothes that actually fit. I am down 4 sizes and all my clothes were looking frumpy. I found some good deals. Then, we just made it to a surprise birthday party filled with babies. Normally, TJ and i kind of prepare ourselves, pray, and then go. . . BUT we forgot to prepare ourselves for all the babies. Our car ride home was pretty much silent and sad. Once home, we did Soduko(i ate my leftover chocolate chip scone) and fell asleep.

So, i guess i will get my day started, void of church. I was really looking forward to going and heairng the songs again, but i think i will stay home for now.

Wooden Stick Q-Tips

In the house i grew up in on Echo Road, there was one thing for certain. . . there was always a supply of q-tips with wooden sticks. They were always behind the oak cabinent door in the pink bathroom. (yeah, my poor brothers had to put up with a pink bathroom becasue my mom was single) My mom was addicted to q-tips, and she passed that addiction on to me as well. She also "taught" me how to clean my ears with wooden stick q-tips. Some of you might be grossed out about what i am going to reveal, but you will just have to deal with it or try it. My mom would stick the clean q-tip in her mouth very quickly to just get the swab a little damp. She found it had better cleaning clingy power that way and it felt better in her ear. I learned it that way, tried it and like it. I cannot stand an over-dry q-tip swab. I remember when TJ first realized i did this. . . now he does too. We always had wooden stick. The others just didn't even come close to comparison. . .too floppy and too bendy. They would bend and flop at the first touch of wax or the ear canal.

As i got older, wooden stick became harder and harder to find. When my mom or i found them, we would stock up on them. . . until finally there was no more to be found anywhere (we even sank so low as to look at Walmart). Our everyday ear cleaning just wasn't the same. It no longer brought that sense of comfort and satisfaction. It just brought frustration and bendy q-tips.

I write this because last night TJ ran up to Meijer to get me some cold medicine and do you know what he brought back as a surprise to me? Yep, Wooden Stick cotten swabs (not the q-tip brand, but i didn't care) I almost wet myself. We both opened up the container, inserted a q-tip head into our mouth, and began to clean our ears. The feeling that came over me was so wonderful. TJ, now, also agrees that wooden stick is far superior to bendy stick. He bought two boxes of them. I will savor every one of them. It breaks my heart to think that my mom passed away thinking wooden sticks were gone forever. I am sure now she knows differently. . .in fact, she was probably waiting for me to discover them. I think i will go clean my ears now.

Staying home

well, four weeks into school and i already have to have a sick day tomorrow. I am stuffed to the brim with snot, have a headache and my arms feel really heavy. I figured if i didn't take a day off, it might take me twice as long to get better. Also, tomorrow is a long day as it is with my doctor's appoinment at 4 and then class at 6 in G.R. I just need to sleep a lot, take it easy and drink orange juice. I don't need to eat a lot of points. I have been doing that lately and it is going to get me into trouble.

I made 6 "Loopies by Lindsey" blankets this weekend. I gave two away to friends. I dropped the other four off in the lounge because i only had one left in my basket. By lunch time (11:10) they were all gone, but one. I even got paid in advance for a special order. Hooray! Thus far, i have sold 13 loopies. I need to make more, but i am almost out of having a variety of ribbon. Jo-Ann's has also been out of a lot of the colors i am looking for. I really need bumpy pink fleece and green microfleece. The microfleece is so much softer than the other stuff and it is still machine washable. Maybe to take a break from napping tomorrow i will pin ribbon. We will have to see.

We also visited a lot of "parade of homes" homes this weekend and last weekend. One house had the most amazing built-ins with hickory wood. They were unbelievable. . .actually the whole house was. I loved averything about it. Then, i come home and feel so blessed to live in the house that we do. It is nothing spectacular, but for its size it has a lot of extras that we fell immediatly in love with. I could live here forever. There is room to grow and if TJ does built-ins there will no way to leave. We saw a similar built-in to the one we are going to do in the nursery someday when it is needed. As for now, there are other things to work on.

Where was the weekend?

It seems i spent a lot of my weekend on the road. However, it was very enjoyable. I got to see family and listen to Harry Potter while i drove.I went to see my cousin in a play in Royal Oak. I had to take the longway there because i was scared of the shorter way. The shorter way included many turns, 80 mph traffic, merging, bearing left or right, three expressways, white knuckles and headaches. So, i opted for the three turn, twice as long route. I took maple from wixom all the way to Royal Oak. . . through downtown Birmingham and everything. It was refreshing to visit with my aunts. I saw the same twinkle in their eyes that i used to see in my mom's eyes. I heard her laughter, excitement and stories in them. And my Great Aunt Glyda's voice sounded just like my grandma's. I sucked it all in. When i wasn't driving or visiting, i hung out with Gail. We went to Border's Book Store. I just love book stores. I, of course, could have spent a fortune. We also ate slow churned ice cream together. Speaking of ice cream, i ate very well this weekend. I feel pretty proud of myself. I knew i had to weigh in for the biggest loser today and i didn't want to gain a ton. I had Alaskan King Crab on Saturday before the show. It was delicious and already cracked for me. :) I tried to ignore the melted butter for the most part.
I need to catch up on house things, bills, grad stuff, and school stuff. Better go.

10% lighter, 100% happier!

I should be on the couch winding down, but i am going out of town tomorrow and wanted to share the happy news before i left. I went to weight watchers tonight, and i was down 1 1/4, so that puts me below my 10% loss. Hooray! If i count from my first time i joined weight watchers then i am way lower than 10%, but tonight i am officially 10% down. I had to set a new goal and i was surprised that they want me a lot lower than my doctor wants me. Hummmm.

Well, i am almost packed. I didn't do any school work tonight, but i did read a chapter for my grad class and write a small paper thing about it. Dreadful. I am excited to hang out with gail and see my Aunt Sharon, Aunt Andrea and Cousin Diana. I just feel like i need to connect with them. . . it has been a while. I so wish TJ could go, for so many reasons. He hasn't seen his mom in awhile, he likes to go to plays with me, i am getting all dressed up, i like to sleep next to him, he likes to eat steak (i am meeting my family at a steakhouse), he is a good driver in crazy situations, he is wonderful company for the ride, i will miss my kisses at night. BUT he has class this weekend. :(

Heavenly heated seats

I have had goose bumps all day. You know, the kind of chill that is deep, that you cannot get rid of by just a little sweater or socks. School was cold. The air conditioning is still running, in the lounge and library, only our building is old. So. . . air for the computer lab makes the library frigidly uncomfortable. Our old librarian used to have sweaters hanging from a coat rack. After a much too long staff meeting, i walked in the rain out to my car, yearning for a blanket, a good book, and a bowl of chili. I got into my car, turned on the heat and then my eyes stopped and were fixed upon a wonderful button i had forgotten i had. . . heated seats. I pushed level two, instead of one and had a very enjoyable ride home getting nice and toasty warm. The internal, pestering chill finally left my body after being there all day.

many smiles for today

Things that made me smile today. . .
1. inpite of weighing in at night (i normally weighed in the morning) i am 3/4 of a pound down. Which means i have 3/4 a pound to go to get to my 10% goal!

2. i received compliments from two different fourth grade teachers at two different times of the day. They specifically walked down to my room to let me know that what i taught my kids last year has stuck with them. I really appreciated that. They did not have to tell me, but they did.

3. Today is thursday. . . that means friday is next.

4. I sold a "Loopies by Lindsey" today and two other teachers told me they want one when their friends find out what they are having.

5. I am making grilled cheese and french fries for dinner. I get to have two servings of fries because i have the points left and i am hungry.

At what point did this happen?

I left school at about 4:15. Had been there since 6:45 and wanted to leave. I was on auto-pilot as i drove home listening to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on CD. Got home, put my stuff down and immediatly went to our bedroom. I was so anxious and excited to put my "jammies" on. As i am sighing with relief as i pull on my "loungewear" i realized that i am my mother. Not only am i my mother, but i did the very thing that i used to give her such a hard time about. When did this happen? Was it gradual or did i transform over night? I am seeing and hearing more of her in me and i often giggle to myself as i ponder this destined transformation that i vowed i would never do. There were many, many good qualities about my mom, don't misunderstand me. However, there are some characteristics that i am not fond of. If i ever catch myself whinning to TJ that he needs to put gravy on his food or salt his potatoes becausee they will taste better, i will cry. If i ever have a designated chair in the livingroom. . . oh, wait, i guess i kind of do. . . nevermind. If i ever come home and take and hour to two hour nap, i will cry. In a way, i guess our children will know what mom was like. . . there is a lot of her in me. I think i will go satisfy my sweet tooth, i still have points left for today.

Finally, the first day

I am so very tired, but filled with anticipation. I only had a half day with the children, but felt as if i was teaching for two days straight. I wish there was a way to tell them everything at once. They are so anxious and excited to know about everything at once, but there is no way of passing along all the information they want without making their tiny little heads explode. Every year i try to do less talking the first day. And every year i do the same amount. . . A LOT! My throat is soar. I had fun. My class seems very chatty. Normally it is so quiet on the first day because they are all so shy. . . not this bunch. It is going to be interesting. I look at their faces and think about all that they will accomplish in their lifetime. It is a little frightening to know that i play quite a big role in that process. I am going to go and relax as i watch House now.

For those of you who are curious (sorry for those who don't want this much information) I am on Day 18 of my cycle and still no ovulation. AAAHHH! Come on egg, you can do it. Get out of that ovary and come on down!