Yesterday was a better day. I felt motivated. I got a lot done. I didn't cry. In fact, i decided that i might as well get hopeful about the next round of shots and doctor's appointments, that maybe this was my month to finally get pregnant. I was alright with trying again and rather hopeful about it. I went into school this morning, thinking i would have sub for the afternoon. Prepared for the sub and made a call to the Doctor. They did indeed want to see me that afternoon. TJ almost couldn't get there, but he drove to G.R. and met me.
During my ultrasound, i had yet again hit a "bump in the road" as TJ called it. It seems that my ovaries are infested with lots of cysts, some big and filled with "yucky" stuff, and others just an annoyance, but not what they wanted to see. The cysts are the result of the OHSS and the amount of follicles i had. I was told that i would have to sit this month out, not by choice but because there was still too much activity happening inside of me. It wouldn't be good to rile my ovaries all up even more with shots and hormones. I was also told to go easy on the exercise (you don't have to tell me that twice) and not to have any wild, crazy "coitus" because my ovaries could twist (ouch) The timing of the next cycle, if i don't ovulate on my own, which i haven't in 10 years, puts us right at Jason's wedding. Not a good time to get OHSS and have to have my feet up for a week. Time will tell. I give up on making plans because they just turn into big bumps. Maybe i will ovulate on my own and i will actually be pregnant in California. That is a wild thought. See, there i go again. . . getting my hopes up, trying to stay positive. I really need to stop being so optimistic about the whole thing and then i won't feel so defeated when bumps come around. Oh, you know i can't do that. . . i will just be an ever-reaching defeated optimist. I bet there will be some relief from not having to read female anatomy related posts. What else is there to blog about? I will either get really quiet, or blog about random events, like i once used to. That doesn't sound so bad.
4 comments:
Hey- it's your blog, write about what you want to write about. Too bad if we don't like it, it's important to you.
In all honesty I'd rather hear about your ovaries than 90210 episodes.
love,
Jered
I remember that feeling all too well. When James and my first attempt with InVitro was not successful and we went into our first appointment since I was ready to try again. But, I also had cysts that needed to go away so another month had to pass. Not a fun month. We only had three embryos left and I was struggling to be positive. (not to mention three friends becoming pregnant and finding out the week before our next procedure)
Stay the optimist, and continue to blog. It helps all of us who are praying for you stay connected.
I love you.
I don't know if you need to apologize about your blog content Lindsay.
You did include a line about the prohibition on "wild & crazy coitus". (which I'm sure will require major deviations affecting most of your daily routines)
I've also found that whenever you feel like you are loosing someone's attention;
all you have to do is just say the word "coitus", and SHAZAAM!
Your back in business.
So, I'm sure your not the first blogger to resort to this technique
Jered- i could always write about the 90210 episode where Brenda thinks she has breast cancer because of the self exam she performed. . . it is not ovaries, but breasts are close enough AND it involves 90210. Thanks for encouraging me to blog about what i want to.
Charity- i am glad you appreciate what i am going through and that you can stay connected :)
Daniel- i could always just put a bunch of u-tube on my blog. . .oh wait, that is not actually blogging. Just kidding. Your last few posts had some words too! :) In all seriousness, i really appreciate your comments and encouragement and prayer. It is comforting to know that other people know my struggles and are praying and that they kind of understand my weirdness.
Post a Comment